To die for

RIP Andy Banks....what a way to go http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2257228/Musician-dies-falling-drain-tried-retrieve-keys-dropped-New-Years-Day.html

Get arrested in America...for parking an elephant???? http://www.divinecar...t-fifty-bizarre

Actor Pete Postlethwaite has died after a lengthy illness

Jacques Swaters former F1 driver and buddy of Enzo Ferrari has died aged 84

Sort of true, BUT, I'd only say the death penalty should be handed down if concrete evidence is available - and that's not just DNA but also with such as video evidence or multiple unshakeable corroborated witness evidence. Too many times innocent people have been jailed, only years later being able to prove the jury verdict wrong. Sadly we could not just return to being able to impose these punishments while within the EU membership framework. That issue would have to be put before the people in a referendum. First if we as a nation were willing to continue membership of such forums - and only if the verdict was a NO answer - then the second part could be entertained - that of re-imposing the death penalty in the most serious of cases. I think the whole topic appealing but with so many pitfalls I can't think any political party (other than UKIP or the BNP) would chose to put any weight behind the idea. Good point. Just let them out without the possibility of anonymity and let mob justice prevail. Same result

There are cases where there is no "reasonable doubt" - Myra Hyndley, Ian Brady, Peter Sutcliffe, Ian Huntley spring to mind - that they committed the crimes that they received multiple life sentences for. These are the types of criminal that should receive the death penalty, they don't deserve attempts to rehabilitate them and certainly should not be allowed to waste public money appealing for parole/human rights violations/compensation. They should have been sentenced to hang. End. The part I disagree with is keeping prisoners on death row for years, if they've been sentenced to die, get on with it. Years of excuses should not count against the original crime.

If it gets really bad you could always talk to yourself Windsor, this chap ended up in with Jerry!!

The Wolfman - too obvious, too dull. Definately not "The Howling" or "An American Werewolf in London" or the original.

One of the deck-hands on Thames Clippers. This particular "Little Blonde Nazi" decided to have a go at me, my friend and my partner when we got the ~23:15 boat from Embankment to Canary Wharf. Granted, we were quite drunk, and my friend was drinking wine from a glass she had brought with her from the restaurant we had eaten at but still aggressive, confrontational behaviour to my mind is not acceptable. Anyway, we got on board and were ordered to one side of the boat, the deck hand then proceeded to tell us how he or one of his chums could be glassed in the face by the wine glass and how we wouldn't find it funny when he "took us down", all slightly confusing! So I duly went to the bar and got my friend a plastic glass and my partner and I a bottle of Becks each (glass bottles I hasten to add) poured the wine into the new glass. Becks bottles were apparently acceptable because "he knew how to defend himself against one of those". Then I went to take to wine glass back to the bar, was there something that said "spoiling for a fight"? I didn't think so. Anyway the deck hand then took the glass away from me and lobbed it over board!! Aren't these peolpe told that littering the Thames is a offence, and went away. I wished I had asked for the twats name but seriously thought that would be the excuse he ws looking for to start something. Does anyone think he may have had a bad day?

TMIB, thankyou for checking your inbox for my entry, its a joint effort and as I have responsibility for entering it I wouldn't want my co-conspirator to accuse me of slacking/forgetting. I think you should play, its a game of skill and luck and as a seasoned deadpooler no-one should be surprised if your team is close to the top. I don't see any of the whingers or cheats lining up to offer you assistance as "The host" so fuck em, its your show this year. Good luck!!!

Any more?

Could have been worse, there are degrees of shite. Please list your top five of why 2009 was shite and I'll tell you why it could have been worse:

10th March 6lb4oz Girl Amy

1. Drivers who think a Red light means put your foot dowm 2. Drivers who think their Kiddy Cab looks cooler with the front fog-lights permanently on 3. Drivers who can't afford another head-light bulb or are too stupid to notice that they have a headlight out 4. BMW drivers, and I don't care if you think you are the world's best driver, its a BMW not an all protecting space bubble 5. Lorry drivers, just because you're indicating doesn't mean there's space to pull out 6. People who drive round without their seat-belt off, maybe this just counts as natural selection 7. Drivers who are asleep in the middle lane doing 65 until you try to overtake them 8. Drivers who get right up your arse, flashing their lights when you are overtaking and there's no where to pull in even if you wanted to. Oops did I see a dog in the road? 9. Motorbikes who think the white line is just another lane. 10. Drivers doing 65 in the outside lane because they're on the phone My top 10 collect them all!

Play

Im very impressed that you managed to get cunting past the filter. Its a word far more vulgar than f'uck but it gets through, utter bollocks!!! I think you are pulling the piss a bit by trying to add Air Con to Room 101, this forum really doesnt need such luxuries, besides why the f'uck should that room be given it when my house hasnt got it? If you are chucking it out TDF, dont stick it in Room 101, give it to me!! Its at work, its on "heat" and I don't mean it makes the reptiles horny. I'm sorry but if I want to get hot and sweaty I'll ____________ with___________. Just use your imagination, can't be arsed to try to finding better words to get round the swear filter. Bollockshitwankbuggeryfuck! Ha, get your tight hole around that swear stoppers.

I'm tired, bored, I can't be arsed to add air conditioning to room 101, and that cunting swear filter has stopped me using more polite swear words. Whatever.... Why doesn't someone consign that word to Portsmouth? Am I rambling?

Wow!! I am in awe. I never knew you cared. Are you pissed?? fekin pointless fekin swear filter!!!!

And better still, a lot of his assets are in her name. Wonder if she will use Heather Mills divorce lawyer.

Nancy for me

Firstly, you talk bollocks. Secondly, Swayze isn't dead yet. Thridly, I think Steve Jobs might have the available funds to try to buy himself out of cancer, money can't always help Fourthly, why the f'uck would someone who is terminally ill bother trying to kick a habit of a life-time, the dumb c'unt started smoking in the first place and I don't think there's any way it will make his situation worse. Oh s'hit, that's a list, its catching.

Taking what is probably a unilateral stance, I for one, am disappointed. I think Shuey's reappearance would have been interesting at the very least. The current crop of drivers do not have any where near his depth of talent and 'drive' and I am sure the "Rain Meister" would have lapped them all. I'm also disappointed, I'd have loved to see him crash and burn. I would have also loved to see him win, who else could wring an exceptional performance out of an under performing car? At the minute only the driver with the best car (ie the team that can bend the rules the best) seems to win and the rest of them then whinge and talk about updates for the next race. Boring!

BBC link

I got very used to cleaning up the giblets when my beloved cat chose to express her cat nature and leave us tokens of her love. She died, suddenly and unexpectedly in May. But we've just agreed to take a mother and newborn from Cats Protection. Bring on the vomit and giblets! My friend's cats only ever vomit on his windowsill, so when he comes down in the morning and opens up the curtains he is met with a sicky surprise. I'm not really a big cat fan. I think Frankie Boyle (who I've got tickets to see in April, fact fans) got it right the other night, when in response to the answer '50 nights' he said the question was 'how long would you have to be laying dead in your flat before your cat gave a sh'it'. Most amusing Please, please, I'm begging, how the f'uck do you nteach a cat that? In fact anything other than puking just where youyr feet will stuymble in the dark. The cold oozing feeling of cat sick between the toes is getting too familiar. The bits are worse!