Amanda

Hmm, it'll be the Accu Fischer for me. A massage whilst you walk. Heaven.

You mean if you are ever seduced by Tom Cruise? It could happen... I'm in my 20's, brown longish hair - from behind I almost could be Katie Holmes (modest hey?). But it's worth being prepared for these things. As my mum said - "Never Trust A Man With Testicles" and God was she right!! You'd better marry a eunuch then. My Mum'd be thrilled. She design her hat to include a mock-up of the removed items.

At least I'm fully prepped for shooting self now, should the need ever arise. You mean if you are ever seduced by Tom Cruise? It could happen... I'm in my 20's, brown longish hair - from behind I almost could be Katie Holmes (modest hey?). But it's worth being prepared for these things. As my mum said - "Never Trust A Man With Testicles" and God was she right!!

Just lie still and think of the dosh. You'd have to be heavily dosed on morphine or similar. Or dead. At least I'm fully prepped for shooting self now, should the need ever arise.

Just lie still and think of the dosh. You'd have to be heavily dosed on morphine or similar.

Wasn't Nicole pregnant with his baby when they split up? I really can't remember, it does ring a bell but then they're all getting knocked up... She miscarried. A luck escape really. He shouldn't be allowed to pass on his genes as he's completely barking. Hmm, couldn't agree more. I've never got the Tom Cruise thing. Or the Brad Pitt thing for that matter. At least Brad Pitt isn't a member of a barmy religious cult. Yeah what's that all about? God only knows!! I think it's all a bit creepy. I remember Katie from Dawsons Creek - she's really young is she not? And Tom's in his 40's? It's a bit Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas if you ask me. The very thought makes my skin crawl.

Wasn't Nicole pregnant with his baby when they split up? I really can't remember, it does ring a bell but then they're all getting knocked up... She miscarried. A luck escape really. He shouldn't be allowed to pass on his genes as he's completely barking. Hmm, couldn't agree more. I've never got the Tom Cruise thing. Or the Brad Pitt thing for that matter. At least Brad Pitt isn't a member of a barmy religious cult. Yeah what's that all about?

Wasn't Nicole pregnant with his baby when they split up? I really can't remember, it does ring a bell but then they're all getting knocked up... She miscarried. A luck escape really. He shouldn't be allowed to pass on his genes as he's completely barking. Hmm, couldn't agree more. I've never got the Tom Cruise thing. Or the Brad Pitt thing for that matter.

Wasn't Nicole pregnant with his baby when they split up? I really can't remember, it does ring a bell but then they're all getting knocked up...

I've just heard that Tom Cruise's Katie Holmes is pregnant. I'm assuming it's his seeing as they're getting married, but doesn't he fire blanks? Isn't that why he and Nicole adopted?

No, I expressed a polite interest in a would-be boyfriend's hobbies & it's come to this. I hope he's worth it. If not at least you you can shoot him Brilliant! My thoughts exactly!!

Thank you Mr Notapotato, I must admit to being a little worried. Presumably in the daytime there will be less people about to watch me make a tit of self. I actually feel sick with nerves at the prospect. The coffee I've just drunk feels like it's eaten a hole in my stomach lining. It's not very pleasant. I assume these shoots have toilet & beverage facilities?

No, I expressed a polite interest in a would-be boyfriend's hobbies & it's come to this.

I don't know? Should I? Is this something that I can pick up in a day or am I going to make a total arse of self? I've never even held a gun. But I have been told that my left eye is my dominant eye. This is important apparently. Is there any shooting etiquette I should be aware of? Don't shoot your fellow clay pigeoners. I wish.....

Not any longer though - hasn't there been some change in the law where vets now act like a Doctor and give animal owners a presciption and then we choose where to get our drugs from? They've been way over-charging apparently. A vet I've spoken to about this was in a real state.

I don't know? Should I? Is this something that I can pick up in a day or am I going to make a total arse of self? I've never even held a gun. But I have been told that my left eye is my dominant eye. This is important apparently. Is there any shooting etiquette I should be aware of?

C L A Y P I G E O N S H O O T I N G Hi, I don't want to start a new topic for this, but please can someone help me? I'm going clay pigeon shooting for the first time today & is there any advice or anything that anyone can offer me? I've got a 12 bore to use (is that OK for beginners?). Is there anything I need to know? Aside from aim at the clay pigeons of course... thanks.

Kate Moss is wandering around another celebrity party, drinking champagne and nipping to the ladies to powder her nose.... Jeremy Clarkson & Kate end up standing side by side, watching the party-goers. For want of anyone better to talk to, Kate introduces herself. "Hi, my name's Kate Moss, I'm a supermodel." She says smugly, wondering who this great big ugly man is. "And what do you do?" "Very pleased to meet you Kate!" Jeremy is thrilled, he's always had a bit of a thing for Kate. "I'm Jeremy Clarkson and I do Top Gear." Kate's eyes light up & she shuffles closer to Jeremy. "Top Gear? Great, can you sort me out with a couple of grams?"

Thank you, but I am over the Doherty thing. I just can't keep up or be bothered to defend him any longer. The avatar thing though ... I'm going to get some advice & get one this time around. I've just read in Horse and Hound that a 20 year old girl was arrested at a recent country fair for wearing a t-shirt with the slogan 'Bollocks to Blair'. Apparently the police were worried that the elderly may find it offensive. Can this really be an offence worthy of being arrested for? Are the elderly really that bothered? Would they not find the 'FCUK' more offensive?

He is still waving about impotently, as you can see! It's a wonderful sight to behold. So what's been happening?

All is good thank you Mr J .... am kind of giving up on all of them, it's for the best. And I trust your little man is good?

You've made me laugh out loud.... who's deleting my posts???!!!!

If that's the case, have 4-5 glasses of water after your last drink. It will stop the dreaded hangover from occurring. How To: Cure A Hangover Thank you for the advice.

Mmmmm. that sounds like my kind of beverage. Going to visit the supermarket and buy all ingredients immediately. God knows I could do with it.

Mr Doherty? Hmmm... I don't get much time any more to check on his progress. It's difficult to make out what's really going on. Who really knows? There are so many conflicting stories that I read. In theory, should this naltraxone implant still be in place then it's impossible for him to be continuing in the manner that he was before it's insertion... but then perhaps it's been removed or run out. Much as he has my sympathies I can't help but think he behaves like a bit of a tosser & that what he døes it for show. I have no idea, but I think all in all he's pretty sad & he'll ultimately self-destruct. However, I was very saddened to hear of Mo Mowlam's death. Stupid as I am, I thought that she suffered from some form of alopecia (excuse spelling). I had no idea she had a tumour. Also, Richard Whitely is a great loss! He was fab & Countdown will never be same, if it's still on. Is it on?