open pinecone

Sad to say the best Beatles are now gone and we are left with the bin-ends - odds on Ringo carks it before McCart-horse. Please put McC**ntney down for 2006, even that is too far away!

Times gotta be up for this Jurassic, scotchbrite wearing, pvc trousered Dinosaur from the valleys. He is so endangered it has got to be a huge risk being seen next to him when you are coming through customs...

But will it do a Fat load of good?

Some of his lyrics were a bit, well......treacly weren't they? For example...'baby I'm a want you, baby I'm a KNEAD you....' Was that a DOH! (dough) moment?

All I'm gonna say is..........'SHEPHERDS PIE!!!!!'

Gawd knows!

I'm sure the words we'd all like to hear is...CONGRATULATIONS! Cliff Richard your time is up. The eternal turtle necked batchelor boy is long overdue a 'permanent summer holiday'. I can't wait to read the REAL salacious truth about this 'puritanical' pleaser of aging coffin dodgers...