Gunjaman5000
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Posts posted by Gunjaman5000
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I've been following with interest your northern weather woes and can sympathise somewhat, the temperature dropped below 30 degrees (celcius) last night, I nearly put a jacket on.
It's hard work living in the tropics.
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I voted Iain/Dave, without whom we wouldn't have 'The Best Thread Ever' and our only certified celebrity posts; and what "anally discharged half-digested puddles of sweet corn" (if memory serves correctly - just checked, memory's not spot on but close enough) posts they were.
I would have thought BHB deserved a spot, the 'Crow King' ought to have been there and got one of my votes; and the Royla Forumses gift to the Deathlist, Entropy, the pratical joke who backfired, would have got the other.
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Safe procedure my arse.
Based on a quick search of Google images there didn't seem to be a hell of a lot wrong in the first place.
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On behalf of all Edwards wolrdwide may I take this opportunity to thank Mr Woodward for giving fuckwits the false impression they're being both amusing and clever by repeating your name in 'funny' voices in front of us.
Good on ya Eddie.
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On the subject of extinct fish, Houston woman fries and eats ex's goldfish.
Don't we have a Texan member with a few good fish recipes?
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No thought to mention chemistry and geology, engineering or even history in your disourse on bricks. I am not impressed.
Without chemistry and geology there would be no brick, now how minimalist is that?
Without engineering there would be no use for the brick, except conceptually on the architects drawing pad.
Without history there'd be no cool dudes from geophys to examine where bricks once were.
Luckily for you guys you've stumbled upon my domain, solid state chemistry basically means I can bore you to death (again) about the fundamentals of bricks should there be any danger of arty farty overload on the simple brick.
Missing Carbon there methinks.
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May I be the first to salute the Battersea Power Station, made of bricks. Lots of them. Adorning Pink Floyd's album 'Animals' (which incidentally features minimal brick related musical content), it was my welcome to London on a grey March day late last century.
Another of my favourite brick buildings is the brick house made by the third little pig, thwarting the wolf and his goal of creating a housing shortage in the pig market.
I also like the Chrysler Building in New York which contains many, many bricks, although probably quite a few less than the Battersea Power Station.
I've often shat bricks, worked with people as thick as them and been just another one of them.
Bricks, couldn't agree more.
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Another of 'Windsor's Workplace Whinges'.As expected the new owners have cut our hours, but yet they expect us to do the same work. One of our staff was told she could take a job as a cleaner or be made redundant (yet her workmate whose mother works in the office still has her job even though she has been there for less time).
I have nothing much more to lose as my hours have been cut back to a pathetic total. This will give me much leverage when I accuse the new owners of treating their staff like dirt and clients like walking pound signs. I have already accused them of 'gross profiteering' to their faces so this should come as no shock to them. Bunch of arseholes.
Luckily I haven't signed their confidentiality agreement so I can say what I want about their shitty company.
Vote with your feet Windsor. In ten years time you'll wonder why (and how) you put up with such a bunch of cnuts for so long anyway.
Fock 'em I say.
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Hello, my friend; You’re on my mind,Because you're somehow ailing,
But your response to any challenge
Has always been unfailing.
So I’m confident you’ll win again;
Hang in there, and you’ll see;
You’ll be back on top in no time,
Tackling life courageously.
I know this will go down like a lump of lead
But Patrick Swayze will soon be dead
Despite the fact that his films are sh*t
I think he will be DLs first hit
Shall poor Yvonne cry "sh*t" and "f*ck it"
Now Patrick Swayze's kicked the bucket?
I do not imagine that she'll be ecstatic,
That Patrick's expired of disease pancreatic.
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Truly a tremendous pity, I'm one of the many he inspired in the kitchen. If not to cook up meals of great quality and taste, then certainly to get quietly pissed while banging about a few pots and pans on the stove top.
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Biggest death this year i think. Very sad.
I'm not sure I agree. I don't know if countless millions of Michael Jackson fans would either.
Quite sad nonetheless, Unchained Melody at the funeral perhaps?
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I'll wager that this is some sad cow who shagged him voluntarily and has now spotted a massive money-making, headline-grabbing opportunity by crying rape. I'll eat my hat if he's found guilty.I'd go further and say that she's been put up to it...
I'd go EVEN FURTHER and say the sooner any mention of GOODY and TWEED is lost from this site.....the better....
Why discuss vermin (let alone maggot-ridden ones)....
So why discuss them?
Good idea Godot, the sooner we stop discussing them discussion will end and we'll all forget about discussing them forever. Or at least until the 22nd of March next year when she'll be beatified.
Saint Jade of East Angular perhaps.
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Actually I like Aussies, Sons and Daughters ( especially Patricia Hamilton ) Young Doctors the Ford Falcon GTHO and the Holden Monaro GTS 350.Infact I wish my parents would of had the balls to get a family ticket Down Under decades ago.
Better country, climate, lifestyle, you name it, you have it.
Thats why you must excuse our occassional OTT victory dances.
We have sh*te all else to boast about.
You reminded me of my dear old uncle who proudly showed us his 'Ten pound Pom' ticket cancelled in the early sixties, traded in for a lifetime's work in quality control at Ford's in Liverpool.
Great guy, poor decision. I mean if you're gonna have a sh*te job, at least have a decent climate to compensate.
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Does this make him the only one of Joe and Rosie's boys to die in his sleep? One out of four ain't bad I suppose.
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VB brought out a new campaign for the Ashes, my new
ad."Guys who peaked in high school..." Love it.
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...But I do object to being discriminated against, based solely on a lack of procreativity. What gives Sainsbury's the right to banish me to the back of the car-park and exclude me from the larger parking spaces, just because I'm not going to fill my trolley with amusingly-shaped food or "Sunny Delight"? I have a reasonably large car, and don't wish to squeeze it into a small space only to risk some troll in an old ford fiesta parking next to me and smacking his car-door &/or trolley into my paintwork. Now I can't without risking a fine. My options seem to be
- risk a fine / call their bluff
- grit my teeth in frustration and rage every time I go shopping and park where they want me to
- shop on-line and risk getting all the crud that's about to expire
- shop at Tescos instead, which I despise.
- steal a child and put it in the car.
Am I being unreasonable?
Anyway, thanks for listening.
You are not being discriminated against solely because you have not procreated. If you think you are then you have some sort of complex.
Parents with Prams car parks are there for parents with small children and prams that the have to load/unload, similar to disabled/wheelchair access car parks. If you ever have to load/unload a pram, shopping, small child and potentially another one that's as mobile as a greased pig, the you'd know why these car parks are required. Try to load/unload in a normal-sized spot, you risk destroying not only you car, but both cars on either side. Unloading handicapped adults, who likely consent to the whole idea and have some sense of decorum, would be a walk in the park compared to juggling shopping bags, kids, crying child, shopping trolley, pram, headache, sleep deprivation, smelly nappies, and any other number of things -- all happening simultaneously... And you're whinging because you want to park your big-arsed car in a spot set aside for parent with prams, just because you're too damn lazy to walk an extra few yards? If parking in normal spot makes you grit your teeth with frustration and rage, then I'd say you have a serious problem. Manifesting itself as rage against parents with prams is probably the thin end of the wedge. It sounds like you either need some pills from the Doctor or a serious voltage applied daily. Probably anally.
You're nearly right. A whiney two year old can be strapped in to his/her car seat/pram and ignored. Takes a bit of effort some days (the ignoring that is) but it can be done quite easily. If it's that much of an effort leave the little buggers at home with partner/grand parent/friend and go to the shops by yourself.
Add eighty years to that scenario and it's a completely different kettle of fish. A two year old falls getting out of the car, you pick him up, give him a cuddle, buy him an icecream. Elderly father falls getting out of the car, you get help picking him up, ignore protestations that everything's fine, visit the GP, get refered to the hospital for xrays. All in all a fun day out for everyone.
Having done both, I wouldn't seriously compare them. Give me the whiney two year old any day. At least you get ice cream.
- risk a fine / call their bluff
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Entertainment as 'News'Watching the 'News' on itv. Whats on? The X Fuctor.
If it ain't that, its wall to wall big bother, i'm a nonentity britain's got problems or some other crap.
Oi, ITV, can we have some News on our news programs?
Ask an accountant. They run television.
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The fifth of November. Gunpowder, treason and plot et cetera.
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When did the Oval become the 'Brit' Oval? That was nearly as big a surprise as the cats 'half packet of maltesers' I found behind the couch while fixing the TV aerial.
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I was going to post that Pete Seeger had died, but it was his younger brother Mike - nevermind!I was going to post that Barry Christ had died, but it was his younger brother Jesus, and it was two thousand years ago - nevermind!
The Weather
in DeathList extra-curricular
Posted
This little 'gem' is currently doing the rounds amoung the locals I work with. More accurate than funny (unless you've lived in these here parts that is), I thought I'd share nonetheless.
Enjoy.
DIARY OF A POMMIE IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA .
August 31 - Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our
new home in Port Hedland , Western Australia . Now this is a town that
knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.
I watched the sunset from a deckchair by the pool yesterday. It
was beautiful. I've finally found my new home. I love it here.
September 13 - Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No
problem though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving
air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like
this. I'm turning into a sun-worshipper.
September 30th - Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants
today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How
do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's windy
though. Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatizing is taking longer
than I expected.
October 15th - Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree
burns over 60% of my body. Missed three days of work. What a dumb
thing to do! Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th - Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car
before I left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the
car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a
shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery. The car now smells like
Whiskettes and cat shit. I've earned my lesson though: no more
pets in this heat.
October 25 - This wind is a bastard. It feels like a giant fuckin'
blow dryer. And it's hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on
the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and
tell me he needs to order parts from fuckin' Perth ....
October 30th - The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still
haven't arrived for the fuckin' aircon. Been sleeping outside by
the pool for three nights now. Bloody $600,000 house and we can't
even go inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?
November 4 - Finally got the ol' aircon fixed. It cost $1,500 and
gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity
makes it feel about 30. Stupid repairman.
November 8 - If one more smart arse says 'Hot enough for you
today?' I'm going to fuckin' throttle him. Fuckin' heat! By the
time I get to work, the car's radiator is boiling over, my clothes
are soaking fuckin' wet and I smell like baked cat!
November 9 Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and
sat on the black leather upholstery in the ol' car. I thought my
fuckin' arse was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh, all the hair
on the backs of my legs and my fuckin' arse. Now the car smells
like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat!
November 10 - Weather report! It might as well be a fuckin'
recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and fuckin' sunny!
It's been too hot to do anything for two fuckin' months and the
weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
November 15 - Doesn't it ever rain in this damn fuckin' place?
Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might
just dry up and blow into the fuckin' pool. The only things that
thrive in this hell-hole are the fuckin' flies. You don't dare
open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the
fuckers!
November 20th - Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 fuckin' degrees
today. Now the air conditioner's gone in my car. The repair man
came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?' I had to
spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for
assaulting the stupid fucker. Fuckin' Port Hedland! What kind of sick,
demented fuckin' idiot would want to live here!
December 1 -
WHAT!!!!
The first day of Summer!!!!
You are fuckin' kidding!