Lady Die

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. "First body: A Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner. "Second body: A Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile." The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?" "Well now," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Paddy Quinn an Irishman, 30, struck by lightning." "Why is he smiling then?"inquires the Inspector. "Ah" says the coroner " He thought he was having his picture taken."

I was worried ... someone said this thread had been closed. Obviously not.

Are theTitanic survivors veterans?

I voted yes .. the more the merrier

The survivors of the Titanic might win in extra time They might need a penalty shoot-out.

This isn't really a fair contest. 81 WW1 survivors vs 3 Titanic survivors.

I'm all for a return to good old-fashioned values.

It's a bit of a bummer being born in 1891 but only being 5th oldest!

Ron Atkinson got blood poisoning from an insect bite.

I'm just disappointed that I can't see anybody else's warnings. I am also quite curious to know what 'offences' attract the various warning levels, how can I advance a couple of boxes on the 'warn-o-meter' without getting slung out? Try being racist/sexist/religionist/offensive & see if your Warning number goes up.

Ditto.

I was just about to ask the same thing. I have "Warn" and a kind-of status bar thingy in my profile. What's it about? I don't remember being warned about anything. I feel all nervous now like a kid who's done something wrong & is about to be found out.

James II was forced to abdicate in 1688. He is the only other English Monarch to abdicate. In Scotland the same applies to Mary Queen of Scots who was deposed in 1567, and James VII who was seen to have given up the throne by the Scots Privy Council in 1688/9. But thats about it. There may have been more in the early days of monarchy. Thanks Mr Windsor! Why did James II abdicate?

We don't have a "tradition" of monarchs abdicating in this country. I think Edward VIII was the only one. (I'm sure Windsor will correct me if I'm wrong)

Red Square

I suspect they were all smokers. Chas doesn't smoke but he must breathe in lots of Cami's.

He's threatening to go on hunger strike. Fingers crossed.

Two giraffes have died in a fire at Paignton zoo.

Patrick Moore is not exactly thin. And Ted Heath was quite a portly chap.

Mrs Josco is obviously very wise....

I love it! I did notice that guests can't post any more (I tried to post after forgetting to log in).

Further investigation reveals that the pub at Bell End is called the Bell Inn - perhaps the Bell End Inn was just taking the joke a little too far? DWB I used to live near "The Organ Inn". When people asked directions they'd ask "How far's the Organ Inn?"

Who'll be next? Mick McCarthy? Jack Charlton?

I'd have asked Princess Diana "Why are you getting in that Mercedes with that pisshead driving?"

Bacon number explained mathematically