RIP Wee Jum

Someone who is nearly 80

Don't really have any info on her but Mystic Meg (Margaret Anne Lake) is now 78. Maybe one to keep an eye on

Imagine being less popular than Bush

A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends £15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the assistant, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”. ‘About 32,’ is the reply.’ ‘No! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, ‘I’d say about 29.’‘No, I’m 50.’ the woman replies with a big smile. Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a another shop on her way home. She goes up to the counter to and asks the assistant the same burning question. The assistant responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’ Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’ While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.He replies, ‘Madam, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’ They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ‘Oh bugger it, go on then" He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay.....How old am I?’ He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’ Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’ ‘I was behind you at McDonalds’.

An Irishman is walking through customs with two big binbags, one over each shoulder and is pulled up. On examination Customs find the bags full of mobiles and ask him to explain. "Well you see,when i was on holiday my friend Seamus from Cork rang me and said he was starting up a jazz band and would i get him two saxophones"

I got 100%

Whats with the massive mask he's wearing ?

Its funny how all the pro Trump dicks have dissapear the last few dayson this forum.

I just found a half frozen bird as I walked to my girlfriend's house so I put it in my pocket to give it a chance of survival. When I showed her, she told me how much she loved me for being so kind and sensitive, so I thought I'd try for a bit of sex as she was in a good mood !! She said "Please, not in front of the chilled wren".

Idiots just broke into a federal building with a lot of police presence. As far as I am aware they were in the same room as Mike Pence. Even yesterday you would of said thats never going to happen. Getting near a heavily guarded human is possible for an intellegent person (OK that rules out 95% of Trump supporters)

Looks like Trump and / or Biden will be assasinated if this trouble continues in America

cheers

MAGA ?

Robbie Savage has been protesting for CUNT Trump

I was born on May 2. Famous people who died on my birthday are :- Leonardo da Vinci - artist J. Edgar Hoover - 1st director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation Justin Fashanu - openly gay footballer Kevin Lloyd - The Bill actor Oliver Reed - drinker and actor Ted Rogers - comedian and presenter Osama bin Laden - bad man Anybody else got anyone better ?

Kissinger for no real reason

@six feet blunder Can you not write a list like a normal fucking person ?

Gabby Agbonlahor only has nice things to say about Leeds at the moment You must love him

U OK ?

GMT

All that weird hebal shit seemed to add a chunk onto Leah Bracknells life. Or so we were mde to beleive.

Its the festive season I think Shane MacGowan will be next