Memento Mori
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Posts posted by Memento Mori
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To be fair The Tube still ranks as one of the better music shows. Did a lot to break down barriers between types of music, they'd think nothing of combining acts like Ozzy Osbourne and Paul Young on the same show. French and Saunders got started there, though they were desperately unfunny most of the time,They haven't changed, then
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Im only nostalgic about the early 80s, it all went shit after 1984.Hill St Blues, I remember ( thats when I wasnt out on the piss and shagging ) which set the tone for most US modern day crime/Police type series. I still watch episodes now, if Im awake ( terrible sleeper) at 4AM.....
Hill St Blues was one of my dad's favourites - problem was, my mum couldn't stand it, she would have much preferred to be glued to one of those costume dramas, which she still loves. I can recall - vaguely - something called A Horseman Riding By, which she followed religiously.
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Which TV programmes from the 80s make you come over all nostalgic? For me it was Cover Up, Wonder Woman and the A-Team; oh yes, and Bring 'Em Back Alive - I convinced myself that I was going to marry Bruce Boxleitner when I grew up, but he ended up getting hitched to that cow from The Little House On The Prairie!
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Bye, bye Betty's hot pot" 'Corrie' bosses are reportedly planning to take Betty's hot pot off the menu in the Rover's Return. Producers are phasing out the iconic meal because they are concerned that 90-year-old actress Betty Driver, who plays barmaid Betty, is set to retire from the show, reports The Sun. Viewers of the soap will know that Betty has always refused to reveal the recipe to her dish so it will have to be dropped from the menu once she leaves. ... Sally Webster's herby lamb cobbler is reportedly the current favourite to replace it."
Are William Hill taking bets on that last bit?!
Now this bit I know for a FACT to be bollocks, because the ONLY thing Sally Fucking Webster has ever said about food in Coronation Shite is 'Ey oop Rersie, d'ya want beans fer yer teeeeeeaaaa'.
I fucking HATE Coronation Bollocks - I really want to get home from a hard day's work, switch on the telly and listen to whinging fucking Northerners talking about whippets. And Ken Barlow - his wife is hardly cold and he's already shagging some bint half his age. It should have been taken off air years ago. Load of crap.
Deirdre's dead? Since when?
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An elderly man goes to his doctor for his annual check - up. After a while the doctor comes out and says, ''I'm sorry, Jim, but we've discovered that you have only six weeks to live.''
''But Doctor,'' Jim replied, ''I feel great, I haven't felt better in years. This can't be true! Isn't there anything you can do?''
After a moment, the doctor said, ''well, you could try going down the street to the health spa and having a mud bath every day.''
Excitedly, Jim asked, ''And that will cure me?''
''No,'' replied the doctor, ''but it will get you used to being in the dirt.''
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Screenwriter Irving Ravetch has died, aged 89.
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Tea bag Christine O'Donnell has apparently dabbled in witchcraft. She also has views on lust:"It is not enough to be abstinent with other people, you also have to be be abstinent alone," she said. "The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery, so you can't masturbate without lust."I assume this means that she thinks to knock one off while thinking of someone other than your wife/partner/lover is to commit adultery.
Which is probably the reason she's still single - she can masturbate to her heart's content without feeling as though she's cheating.
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Had K & G round last night, both down in the dumps.They'd been holding out hopes that Maddie was The Stig!
Speaking of The Stig; I wonder how long it'll be before one of the BBC's rivals give him a Top Gear style programme to present?
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While I have no wish whatsoever for her to be President of the Girl Guides, let alone the USA, I, God help me, cannot forget the dream I once had about her.She was doing unspeakable sexual things to me.
And I liked it.
Speaking of dreams, I had an incredibly sick , disturbing dream about the late Anna-Nicole Smith and my local butcher last night...
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Simon Wiesenthal died today in 2005.
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Karzai and Queen Beatrix both outrank David Cameron, I can see where they're coming from.I'm surprised Obama wasn't ranked higher in the list.
What, you reckon "Ole Jug Ears" is a looker?
I would have stuck the Ex MP Caroline Flint into the top 20.
She was also mostly looking filthy and was a damn good deputy when Sarah Palin couldnt make it into one of my Dreams...
Infact that list is as bent as the average MP, talk about fixed.
Ah yes, Gordon Brown's ''window dressing''..
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The list is supposed to be heads of state but somehow Cameron, a mere Prime Minister, managed to get on the list and the real British head of state, our Liz, didn't.I bet the Pope is devestated that he didn't make the list.
The Queen is somewhere on the list - down in the hundreds.
Actually, he did make the list, he's ranked 215.
If Jonathan Ross is reading this ( you never know) its 'R' anked!!!
There is no suggestion that the Pope has had any sexual contact whatsoever..
Then again, you can never be certain - look at Jesus, we were led to believe that he was pure and virginal too...
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The list is supposed to be heads of state but somehow Cameron, a mere Prime Minister, managed to get on the list and the real British head of state, our Liz, didn't.I bet the Pope is devestated that he didn't make the list.
The Queen is somewhere on the list - down in the hundreds.
Actually, he did make the list, he's ranked 215.
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The heading is a little ambiguous. Is it a poetry corner that's crap or a corner for crap poetry? It's important to know when considering one's possible contribution.Poetry that's crap or poetry with crap as a subject matter - makes no difference really, whatever floats your boat!
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Karzai and Queen Beatrix both outrank David Cameron, I can see where they're coming from.I'm surprised Obama wasn't ranked higher in the list.
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Been up and about since dawn's early light,then had to contend with a shedload of shite.
Got soaked to skin, lost my wallet again, and
didn't get home until well after ten.
Wish I could say I'd been out getting pissed,
but my social life has been crossed off the list.
With so much to do and with so little time,
this is the first shot I've had at a rhyme.
So apologies to everyone for beginning this thread
and then having to run.
Put this ditty to the Football anthem "Your not singing anymore"
"You are Yvonne, you are Yvonne, you are Yvonne in disguise"
"You are Yvonne in disguise....."
Appologies for any spelling mistakes, its the Bacardi wot did it guv.
PS; Can we not just copy and paste all of Ted Hughes old chod on here?
At school, we all thought his poetry was utter shite.
You think I'M Yvonne!!!??? Are you friggin' nuts? Jesus H Christ, I read all of that woman's posts and wondered if she was playing with the full deck or just playing the vapid idiot. Unlike your mate Yvonne, I have no intention in engaging in childish behaviour or penning love sonnets to ailing celebs.
Put a shite poem up? Thats Yvonne..........
It is called the crap poetry corner for a reason! I think Yvonne would feel right at home on this thread!
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Been up and about since dawn's early light,then had to contend with a shedload of shite.
Got soaked to skin, lost my wallet again, and
didn't get home until well after ten.
Wish I could say I'd been out getting pissed,
but my social life has been crossed off the list.
With so much to do and with so little time,
this is the first shot I've had at a rhyme.
So apologies to everyone for beginning this thread
and then having to run.
Put this ditty to the Football anthem "Your not singing anymore"
"You are Yvonne, you are Yvonne, you are Yvonne in disguise"
"You are Yvonne in disguise....."
Appologies for any spelling mistakes, its the Bacardi wot did it guv.
PS; Can we not just copy and paste all of Ted Hughes old chod on here?
At school, we all thought his poetry was utter shite.
You think I'M Yvonne!!!??? Are you friggin' nuts? Jesus H Christ, I read all of that woman's posts and wondered if she was playing with the full deck or just playing the vapid idiot. Unlike your mate Yvonne, I have no intention in engaging in childish behaviour or penning love sonnets to ailing celebs.
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Been up and about since dawn's early light,
then had to contend with a shedload of shite.
Got soaked to skin, lost my wallet again, and
didn't get home until well after ten.
Wish I could say I'd been out getting pissed,
but my social life has been crossed off the list.
With so much to do and with so little time,
this is the first shot I've had at a rhyme.
So apologies to everyone for beginning this thread
and then having to run.
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The crappier and more irreverent - the better. Potential Laureates need not apply. This thread is dedicated to the profane!
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Post your wittiest ditties here!
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He's being moved to an open prison - looks like his time inside will be 'Club Tropicana' compared to what most cons have to endure.When they refer to Prisoner George Michael and an open prison, it makes me wonder if they're using the term in the same way as an 'open marriage.'
For some reason the term pin cushion comes to mind.
Prisoners have it too good nowadays; the fact that Georgie is into the whole open relationship deal, was obviously taken into account by the judge. That Human Rights Act has a lot to answer for!
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Continuing in the vein of sexist jokes..
Q.How do you piss off a female archaeologist?
A.Show her a used tampon and ask which period it comes from!
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Happy Birthday, Unknown Man!
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Well done Time. I'd forgotten this splendid thread. I've just been given an old car that has a tape deck so have had to rootle around among my old cassette tapes. Unfortunately I couldn't find my boxed set of This Sceptred Isle with Anna Massey - great radio.I notice there's a move afoot to revive returnable bottles where you get money back so in this case fings might be as they used to be again.
Other things I miss:
Chalk boards - better than white boards.
Slamdoor trains.
Everything about steam trains. I used to have an office colleague who enjoyed sniffing shed plates. He would bring them to work and take one out for a sniff every now and again.
News stories about the space race. I loved the space race.
The pink 'un on Saturday afternoons that gave you the half time scores when all matches were played on a Saturday afternoon.
The teleprinter that gave you the full time scores - seemed to have a mind of its own.
Smaller fields before so many hedgerows were grubbed up.
The Co-op "divi".
Getting your train ticket clipped.
Things I don't miss:
Aztec bars. They were rubbish.
Double diamond, Watney's red, Younger's Tartan and many other ghastly ales.
Vesta curries. They always had raisins in them.
Linoleum (what we called oil cloth).
Silver fish (that hid under the linoleum).
Nylon shirts.
Anything made out of crimplene.
Plastic-coated "washable" wallpaper. Rubbing the tomato sauce off that stuff made your hair stand on end.
The mention of linoleum and plastic coated wallpaper brings back memories, as we had both when I was a little 'un.
Eighties TV
in DeathList extra-curricular
Posted
Eighties kids' programmes were so much better than the crap watched by kids nowadays, especially the cartoons. The animation was a hell of a lot better - most of todays animation looks as if it's been drawn by toddlers with ADHD.