honez

Outgay the Village People singing NMKY.

We've had a drop of rain recently.

Must be time for some iSnack 2.0 on toast.

Not really a joke, but it made me splurt my coffee...

A Headline writer's smorgasbord. No Boner since Valentine's Day: Found stiff in park later. Cops get lucky looking for Boner in park. Boner missing: history of depression. etc.

I believe the correct DL etiquette would be to hold the doors open for her as you proceed through them. Whether she thanks you or not is irrelevant. After having built up an expectation of trust over the first five, you should let the sixth slam in her face. This would help build up her feelings of distrust for blokes stalking her in the future. You will thereby help her help herself to avoid potentially life-threatening encounters henceforth.

Get married. You'll never fall into the trap of being caught looking like you're not busy. That's what sheds are for.

What the leaked memo actually said: Surely, Clive Dunn would be category 1. I know it's never likely to be required, a bit like government first-contact protocols, but the Beeb better not get caught short if the unthinkable actually happened.

I pulled out some old CDs last night looking for some music, and stumbled across Nick Cave's Murder Ballads. I can't believe I didn't think of this before for this thread. It should be on every Deathlister's playlist. My faves are Henry Lee, featuring PJ Harvey and Where the Wild Roses Grow, featuring everyone's favourite murder-by-the-river-victim Kylie.

Well, now you come to mention him, old Tom's Green, Green Grass of Home is a bit of a sad, death-related tune. Powerfully sad really when you take the lyrics in.

The evolution of everything that breeds sexually, including mankind, has been going on since year dot. All it takes is time and external influences.

Bravo, Sir! If The Road has taught me one thing, it's that you can never have enough bullets. If another hippy whines to me, about global warming, I'm gonna leave the engine running on the V8. Which proves a lot of the points made previously. There really is no hope for pea-brained humanity.

Handshakes for me again. I quite look forward to my annual bamboozling of sales people and suited office types.

It makes mention that people with allergies should avoid eating Squid Fish [sic]. Learned, as we are, about all things squid, I'd avoid whatever kind of ungodly piscine/cephalopod chimera she ate. It was probably spawned in some radioactive dumping ground at the bttom of the pacific.

The last time we had 12.5 inches in Norfolk is when I accidentally popped out of my shorts.... Boom, Boom. Four times.

Bloody hell, you've got a keen eye.

It was probably his first day back at work since the last time he was glassed in the face by a drunken trio. Aren't these drunks told that stealing wine glasses is an offense?

Yes.