Star Crossed

Well that makes two of us. Im afraid it is a ritual if Im not working. I make bloody sure that Im laying, prone, on the Sofa listening to the finest TV anchor man in the country. Stelling is class. Everything has to fit around it, luckily Lady FN is quite a fan of it too. That makes 3 of us. I never thought I'd be peas-in-a-pod with Saturday-afternoon couch spuds 'arry and the missus, but (when I had Sky, which I don't these days) I used to wait with bated breath (almost, twixt-spliff) for the Hartlepool score. I recall when they got sent down (forget which season, it was fairly recently), and the gradually-unfolding drama of Jeff Stelling's personal tragedy was the best entertainment on telly for years! And, whilst I'm here and vaguely on-topic, Soccer AM. Lovely.

The sweet music of witches and post-whores, screaming their last at the stake as the flames lick higher...

I'd like to craft some witty remark about you being "dead pigeon-chested", but it would be crap and I can't be bothered.

Build your own Guitar! I was hoping to attempt the construction of an Anti-Gravity Lifter, but now I'm going to just make a bass guitar instead. This is roughly the DIY equivalent of NASA cancelling their next Mars mission in favour of an office outing to Disneyworld but hey, I've got a garage full of junk, several boxes of tools, and I'm in the mood to MacGyver me a sweet left-handed 4-string death-star! |,,| |,,|

Yeah! It'd be great if, all these years, shrouded in secrecy, the Cubans have been ploughing all available profits from Godot's cigar habit into the development of some awesome super-weapon. Let's call it, for the sake of argument, a "Thermo-Socialist Quark-Interference Device" or "TheSQuID". At the last minute, after years of pissy rhetoric and counter-rhetoric and sanctions and defiance and blah blah blah, Fidel steps out onto his balcony. He announces, to the throngs of eager listeners below, that Cuba has successfully launched their fearsome super-weapon and neutralized the enemy... Is fan-fiction on-topic? Discuss... (but not here)

That would be a fitting premise for the next "I'm A Celebrity; Get Me Out Of Here"-type show. We could have Phil Tuffnell, Jonathan Ross, Vanessa Feltz, Jamie Oliver, Ainsley Harriot, Gordon Ramsey, (insert hated z-lister here) et al, bang 'em up under the above-said conditions and discover in which order they kill themselves, and by what method. I'd like to see Jamie Oliver crudely slashing his wrists with a sharpened toothbrush handle, before slow-hanging himself with a strip of bed linen.

... he has the intellect of a genius and the wisdom of Soloman ... The wisdom of Solo Man?

That sh*t, let's not call it a joke, is so bad that it deserves a forum of its own, where people can log on and heap abuse on it. It's so bad, my pc actually discharged a cloud of foul vapour as soon as I clicked on "View This Post". nice emoticon, btw, 'arry.

As honez noted, BS does display narcissistic tendencies but, if one looks very closely, one detects a whiff of paranoia in there to boot. Banshees Scream; as complex as a fine claret, as simple as a hammer. Don't we all, BS, don't we all?

There's been something nagging at me every time I've seen the gorgeous Kate McCann... "I know that face from somewhere..." Today it finally dawned on me why she seems familiar... Sarah Alexander plays Kate McCann in "Find Maddy: A True Story"

Where's Waldo? Edit: Not Maddy, unfortunately.

Is that you, Detective Sipowicz?

Are you saying that ladies who are overweight with tattoos don't value themselves or their feelings or reputation? Yeah, why the hell not? BS has offended almost every other minority group recently, so to leave out the overweight, tattooed women would surely itself be some form of discrimination?

Cookie Never ones to court controversy, the Blue Peter management should have gone with something topical; "Madeleine McCat", for instance. I'm sure, once all the hoo-ha had died down and people had stopped writing to Points Of View about it, they'd realize it's really quite a nice name for a cat. "Maddy! Maddy! Where are you? Here puss-puss-puss-puss-puss... MA-DDY! *rattles fork in Whiskas tin*"

Does anyone know if Pugh and his twin brother Pugh are still alive?Weren't they called Hugh and Pugh? I once met two brothers from the Outer Hebrides who were both called Donald. Donald Angus and Donald John, if I recall correctly. I'm not even sure if you're being ironic or not, DDT. I presume these scots brothers also shared their surname, but that doesn't mean they had the *same* name. Now, if only we could find out whether or not Hugh & Pugh, or Hugh & Hugh, had other names besides their surname, we could solve this conundrum.

Does anyone know if Pugh and his twin brother Pugh are still alive? Weren't they called Hugh and Pugh? I can't imagine that, even in the rural backwaters of Trumptonshire, people were so hopelessly in-bred as to think it fitting to call identical twins by identical names.

Yeah, I'd say that's about the best frequency at which to move annually...

Will the DLCon1 attendees be receiving any sort of official, exclusive-to-attendees, memento of the occasion? I recalled the DL bullet and thought it would be a nice gesture, maybe even if people have to pay a small amount to cover costs. I presume there'd be some other engraving on it, like the date etc., maybe even a serial number. Who knows, in 100 years' time your descendants could get onto some bloody antique-flogging show on (holographic or better, by then I hope) television, with a full set of 100 DL Bullets; imagine! They could be worth a few quadrillion eurodollars...

Thank heavens for small mercies. Allow me to play Richard Dawkins to your Kent Hovind... Housekeeping done, then... Which posters in this thread hold the opinion that child abuse, or the perusal of images thereof, is ok? Which ones, BHB? As I'm sure your mathematics teacher once told you, show your working... It's because you behave as though there is only one level of paedophilia-related crime, as though this issue is completely black and white, with no shades of grey. You implicate anyone who offers a rational, educated viewpoint on the matter in some sort of middle-class, Langham-adulating conspiracy, to wit; Laughable, paranoid, class-inferiority-complex-laden claptrap, BHB. Nobody "labelled" you an illiterate chav; I said that your rants are "reminiscent of" illiterate chavs (who don't/can't understand the issues at hand and who parade thourgh the streets demanding draconian punishments for crimes they scarcely understand), which they are. Which three members, at least? Show your working... The ability and willingness to sympathise with someone who may or may not have a psychosexual predeliction for children, through no fault of their own is, I think you'll find, one which is gained only through maturity. Is it even possible to double disbelief that is already total? You're fond of reminding us that you have kids of your own, as if that gives you some unique wisdom or perspective, but by "maturity", I don't mean sexual maturity. I'm talking about sociological maturity, something you clearly lack in spades. I don't think any normally-adjusted person would say that child abuse is good, or right, or acceptable but the rational, mature people in our society accept that it is a problem, one with many permutations and levels of severity and offender interaction, and with many possible punishments/treatments, and are able to discuss or debate these issues as the "shades of grey" that, in common with most things in life, they are. In your sig, you ask any editors who may be reading your posts to "gissa a job" (fyi, no need for the second "a" in "gissa a job"; "gissa" is a contraction, albeit a poor one, of "give us a"). It beggars belief who'd give you a job on the strength of your contributions in this thread, or what sort of publication they edit. Yours, never ever afraid to speak his mind, defend his opinion, defend rational and sane discourse, or be contrite when he's wrong, SC

Bad news for Nepalese goats, good news for Nepalese holidaymakers! New goat-intensive airliner maintenance procedures announced by Nepal Airlines.

Yaaaarrrr! Ye can't keep this thread down in Davy Jones' locker for more'n a year! Reminisce fondly over the Golden Age Of Piracy, but remember... Piracy is baaad, m'kay, kids, m'kay?

You're some sort of farm machinery? You should change your username to "Missy Ferguson". From a tractor, to one of my favourite detractors; Happy Birthday, Six! Here's Elvis to sing you a birthday song... "Maybe I didn't love you quite as good as I should have, Maybe I didn't hold you quite as often as I could have, Little things I should have said and done, I just never took the time... You were always in my mind, You were always in my mind."

And she was picked on the DDP as well. Does that hit put OoO in the lead?

Kudos, Godot. I hardly ever read this thread, given that my DDP team are currently all probably either:- 1) in training for their next triathlon, 2) limbering up for a round of bedroom golf with a partner 50 years their junior, 3) attending a spinning class, or 4) free-diving with Tanya Streeter off the coast of Belize. But... to follow up your laughable suggestion to OoO that it's just a game, by paraphrasing the Who in such a manner, is a display of euterpean percipience from the top drawer.

First things first... he certainly is not "worse than a serial killer", BHB. Your hysterical ranting is reminiscent of illiterate chavs, marching through the streets with placards demanding "Peedofiles Owt!" The British criminal justice system is thankfully, whilst far from perfect, run by people eminently more qualified than yourself to pass judgement on others. Secondly, in order to know he was "wanking" over the images he downloaded, you must have been spying on him. What's worse, a man wanking over some kiddy-porn or a man wanking as he watches another man wank over kiddy-porn? See, you don't like it when I assume your implicit masturbation, do you? Masturbating, was he? I don't think that came out in the court case... it's your half-cocked masturbatory assumption, possibly fuelled by BHB's delusionally-paranoid rant, that we don't understand. You're both more intelligent and rational than these posts make you appear, surely?