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Paul Bearer

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Posts posted by Paul Bearer

  2. Posted

    I took my dog for a walk this morning.

     

    After shitting on somebody's driveway, a man came out of the house and shouted, "I hope you're going to clean that up!!"

     

    "Oh fuck off!" I replied, looking at him

     

     

    "Fuck off?" he screamed, "I have to live here, you Scumbag!"

     

    "Did you just call me a Scumbag?" I said, as I slowly pulled my trousers back up.

    • Like 1

  6. Posted

    The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating

    your wife to death with a hammer."

    A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"

    The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a

    hammer."

    The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten bastard!"

     

    The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom,

    Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no

    more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that

    understood?"

    The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, "I'm sorry, Your

    Honour, but for fifteen years, I've lived next door to that arsehole, and

    every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said that he didn't have one.

  10. Posted

    Something I posted on a Clive Dunn memorial on youtube. Kinda of refreshing from my rabies like spazing of Sirhan-Sirhan "Die (insert jerk's name) die over and over again writing die die die die die etc).

     

    Didn't Mr Dunn also make a jib at us a few years back? Anyways, I really have to look this character up.

     

     

    I'm a regular poster at deathlist (it's a death pool by a bunch of university students in the 80's in England), and Clive Dunn has been on that list of the top 50 notables (politicians, celebrities that would be mentioned in British medias), since it's inception in 1987. Mr Dunn is the reigning champion of longevity for 16 mentions. (as he carried on with his remarkable longevity he has occupied the 50th spot for nearly a quarter century).

     

    Does anyone know what happened to the students who originally set up the deathlist ? Do any of them know about this website or do any of them post here?

     

    There is at LEAST one that posts regularly not counting the gaffer, of course.

  11. Posted

    1.Margaret Thatcher dead - Still time

    2.Three die as cruise ship sinks - Yep, but too late

    3.Plane crashes on landing -Yep

    4.Bird flu returns -Nope

    5.Freezing conditions return - Yep, but points not awarded

    6.Prince Philip back in hospital - Yep

    7.Crazed knifeman stabs four - Yep, but points not awarded again

    8.Crazed gunman kills classmates and then klls himself - Yep

    9.Crazed postal worker goes on the rampage - not yet

    10.Phew! What a scorcher! - Yep

    11.Cow tramples woman walking dog - See above post

    12.Deathlist.net scores 50/50 for the first time ever. Grim Reaper delighted - Only 38 to go :)

  13. Posted

    These new 3D TVs are so realistic. I fell asleep whilst watching a Liverpool game and when I woke up my wallet was gone.

     

    Amazing, I fell asleep while watching Norfolk play Spurs and when I woke up my pet sheep had been raped.

    Norfolk?

     

    Norfolk n chance

    • Like 1

  14. Posted

    After seeing him on 'The One Show' tonight, he's going on my list.

     

    Look bad, did he?

     

    He didn't look in the best of health. Looked as if he was holding on to railings to steady himself as he was walking along. Also looked a bit gaunt. You should be able to see him if you watch it on iPlayer.

  19. Posted

    Surely not Noddy, especially as ITS CHRISTMAS!

     

    Nah, that's just people dicking about on Twitter. From what I'm hearing, it won't be a "happy Christmas, Ange" for the guy who has been arrested today.

     

    Do we know who it is yet?

     

     

    Hmmmm! Maybe my old minds playing tricks on me, but didn't he do time for murder/manslaughter in Germany in the 70's/80's?

  20. Posted

    Surely not Noddy, especially as ITS CHRISTMAS!

     

    Nah, that's just people dicking about on Twitter. From what I'm hearing, it won't be a "happy Christmas, Ange" for the guy who has been arrested today.

     

    Do we know who it is yet?

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