Perfect Passing

For the end of year researchers.... Sir Tom Finney, former Preston & England Footballer dies at 91 http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/26200831

Can you fucking be clear about what the fucking fuck you're fucking talking about please? Why couldn't you have put "China's moon rover declared dead" instead? Many people will be aware that China had recently landed a moon rover and found that fact quite interesting, but not all of us knew it was called "Jade Rabbit" because not every single person necessarily obsesses over every detail of every single story that you do on whatever forum/news website you normally hang out on. And it wasn't exactly given extensive coverage in the UK media. In fact I'd say most people reading that would have thought you were going on about some sodding cartoon character. That's what I thought. This is a problem that happens in regard to a number of different topics/news events all over the internet. People drop obscure names and references all day and presume everyone else knows what they're talking about. Why do so many gormless cunts just assume that just because they are familiar with the details/names involved in something, that means every single person in the world also is? BTW, I had just typed out a rant that was a lot more personally vindictive but decided to delete it because I thought it was good that you posted the news. So you got lucky that you only got called a cunt couple of times. But I'm still angry. Why is this world so full of thick, gormless cunts? Sorry.I assumed everyone knew the Chinese lunar rover was called Jade Rabbit .My profound apologies To defend the indefensible...............i.e. A Guest, The defendant did post a link to clarify who/what Jade Rabbit is/was. May I suggest that if you are too fucking lazy to click on the link and learn more, then you should not be posting at the time of the month that makes you.......how shall I word this?.............. a "Gormless Cunt"

Al Molinaro..........because I am willing him to be next. No other reason.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-26044915 Four arrested after Phillip Seymour Hoffman death. The usual knee jerk reaction from the NYPD...let's round up some local drug dealers, then after this whole thing calms down we can get back to our coffee and doughnuts.

Karl Slym - British boss of Indian car giant Tata. He has jumped to his death from a 22nd floor of a Bangkok hotel after a blazing five-hour row with his wife. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2546279/British-boss-Indian-car-giant-Tata-jumped-death-22nd-floor-Bangkok-hotel-blazing-five-hour-row-wife.html He obviously thought that that he just wasn't going to win it, great way to end a five hour barny!

Erm............What is this "Babestation" you speak of?".......Erm.........it sounds really interesting......from a Death Listing researchicle sort of angle!

A very good news presenter, saw him mostly on the BBC World News channel when abroad on holiday. It would have been nice to see him on BBC News 24 more, came across far better than some of the usual faces. RIP Mr Dumor

David Beckham gets into a taxi and he sees the driver looking at him in the rear view mirror. After about 5 minutes the driver says "OK give me a clue?" Beckham says "I had a glittering career at Manchester United, played in America & Europe and got over a 100 caps for England, is that enough?" Driver replies "No you thick twat, where do you want to go?"

In a large Scottish hospital, a wee Glaswegian had made several attempts to get into the men's toilet, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said 'You may use the ladies toilet if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.' He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA , PP and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist: He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. Jings; what a braw feeling, he thought. Men's toilets never have nice things like this. Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flowers to this unbelievable experience. The ladies toilet was more than just a toilet, it was a tender loving delight, he thought. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button, which he knew would be supreme ecstasy. The next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him. 'Whit's happened?' he exclaimed. 'The last thing I remember wus pushin' the ATR button. 'Ye daft gowk" replied the nurse. "The ATR button is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your Willie is under your pillow.'

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the French: in the weeks that followed, American archaeologists dug to a depth of 20 feet before finding traces of copper wire. Shortly afterwards, they published an article in the New York Times saying : "American archaeologists, having found traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the French." A few weeks later, ‘The British Archaeological Society of Northern England’ reported the following: "After digging down to a depth of 33 feet in the Skipton area of North Yorkshire in 2011, Charlie Hardcastle, a self-taught local amateur archaeologist, reported that he had found absolutely bugger all. Charlie has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."

BBC link to Eusebio's passing. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/25611509

BBC just reported.....Portuguese Great Eusebio has had his last game. Link to follow.

I am genuinely quite sad to hear this news, one half of the most perfect harmonies ever, is no more, RIP Phil Everly.

An Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, "How dare you call me a slapper. Get out of my bed right now and take your mates with you!" Just seen a Dyslexic Yorkshire man wearing a cat flap! The 200 Polish fans arrested after yesterday's game have been found guilty of violent disorder and been deported back to England! A big row has broken out in the Irish Olympic Synchronised Diving Team after Paddy accused Mick of copying him!

Troy football player Jadarius Garner found dead on Mississippi highway. http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/college/troy-football-player-found-dead-article-1.1564944#ixzz2pJG96Dfk Run over twice, apparently, wow what a way to go.

My daughter was born in 1998 and at the time you had to register your child as soon as possible into the local primary school, otherwise you'd soon learn that your school of choice, just around the corner, would be over allocated with Eastern Europeans (by the way this is fact, not racism, I am myself 2nd generation British from Ukrainian grandparents, fully integrated!!) Chris Woodhead was driven by the fact that teachers needed to be fully accountable for their salary and inspected annually to keep them on their toes, which I imagine pissed off a lot of primary school teachers when within their class of 33/34 kids, half of them couldn't speak any English & they would have Woodhead with his Civil Service clipboard ticking boxes and taking away their bonuses for not meeting his targets. The 90's, harsh times with Mr Woodhead around!!

No Mohammed Ali put back on the list from 2012? His passing will be the biggest of the year, when he does eventually go! I do hope the DL Committee will except the strong criticism if Ali hears the final bell, this year!

George Bush Senior seems to be the one that looks closer to the Pearly Gates, so he gets my vote. Please don't let me down George, I've never been right in any of these polls yet!

I've gone for Pope Benedict. The DOE has a lot more in the tank, what with all that rich living.

No: 28, Jake Lamotta, no reason, just a left handed jab in the dark!

Sir David Frost Mick McManus And the two old rascals Ronnie Biggs & Bruce Reynolds.

And does this make you rage Mr Irate Visitor? Wrong thread, try Ideas & Possabilties for 2014, next door, you muppet!

Christmas Elf & Safety Procedures The Rocking Song Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir; We will lend a coat of fur, We will rock you, rock you, rock you, We will rock you, rock you, rock you: Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a suitable alternative. Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences. Jingle Bells Dashing through the snow In a one horse open sleigh O'er the fields we go Laughing all the way A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance. While Shepherds Watched While shepherds watched Their flocks by night All seated on the ground The angel of the Lord came down And glory shone around The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts. Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory. Little Donkey Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights. We Three Kings We three kings of Orient are Bearing gifts we traverse afar Field and fountain, moor and mountain Following yonder star Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher. We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves. Rudolph the red nosed reindeer Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw him, you would even say it glows. You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place. It's official, the world has finally gone mad! ;-)

Merry Christmas fellow Deathlisters, I hope your all having a good one where ever you all are!

Sticking with Nancy Reagan.