Perfect Passing

George Bush Senior

Ohh, 40 to choose from! Spoilt for choice. Clive James gets my nod for end of life approval.

The teacher was telling the kids about the birds and the bees and she explained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months later the stork usually brings them a little baby from its nest.Little Johnny at the back of the class put his hand up and asks the teacher, "Are you sure about the stork, miss? I think you’re getting your birds mixed up cos my big sister just got a little baby.... and she said it was from a "shag" in Scarborough.

Mr Douglas

Jon Venables recalled back to prison.........again. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-42095074

Sticking with Lord Carrington

Lord Carrington

Ahhh........Spoken like a true Millennial.

3 Votes for None of the above...... The final hits of previous Death Lists: - December = 18 November = 6 October = 1 September = 3 August = 1 June = 1 80% of the previous final hits have happened in the last 2 months of the year. 80% Chance of a record year?

Meat Loaf Slapped With Lawsuit Over ‘I’d Do Anything for Love’ https://www.thewrap.com/meat-loaf-slapped-with-lawsuit-over-id-do-anything-for-love/

Still going for Valerie Harper, for the 8 in a row.

Happy Birthday! Meat Loaf, 70 Today!

Valerie Harper, to give a run of 8 at the bottom of the list.

Careful Maryport, the North Korea Agents will be calling, not happy about their leader being posted on here, holding a 3.5" floppy!!

Mr Douglas Senior

Kirk Douglas

If you have a spare $455 Million kicking around, you could acquire PC's old gaff! Regarded as the world's most expensive house! http://www.indiatimes.com/news/world/once-owned-by-known-designer-pierre-cardin-bubble-palace-is-the-world-s-most-expensive-house-326195.html

PC with the biggest thimbles ever!! I'm surprised he ever got any work done, with them getting in the way!

Gone for Mr Norden.............................it'll be alright on the night day of the obituary.

Jill Gascoine's actor husband Alfred Molina gets back to basics with Ten Chimneys master class. http://www.jsonline.com/story/news/local/milwaukee/2017/07/12/actor-alfred-molina-gets-back-basics-ten-chimneys-master-class/468476001/ No update of her current health tho, just confirmation of her advanced Alzheimer's. Posted 13th July. I guess he has to keep busy by working!

Went to see Sir Elton John last week at Ewood Park, Blackburn, on for 2 hours, all done by 9 O'Clock which I thought was way too early, but then realised he probably wanted to get home for the kids bedtimes!

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a bar in Dublin. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy, armpit, pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy this lass a drink?" The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Pour the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons, again pointing all round, revealing the same hairy pit, and asked "What man here will buy this lass ANOTHER drink?" Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!" The bartender approached the drunk and said, "Tell me paddy, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, But why do you keep calling her a ballerina?" The drunk replied..."Any woman who can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina!!"

Gone for Dennis Norden.

Paddy, the Irish wrestler was set to square off for the Olympic gold medal against Ivan, the Russian champion.Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said 'Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. It ties you up in knots. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished.'The Irishman nodded in acknowledgment.As the match started, the Irishman and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the Irishman and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the inevitable happen.Suddenly, there was a long, high pitched scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and the Irishman collapsed on top of him, pinning him down and winning the match.The trainer was astounded. When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked 'How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done that before!'The Irishman answered 'Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength, I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could...'The trainer exclaimed 'That's what finished him off?''Not really' answered Paddy, 'but you'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own nuts.'

The seven dwarfs always left early each morning to go to work in the mine. As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores. As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunches and take them to the mine. One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunches, she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in. Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived. 'Hello. Hello!' she shouted. 'Can anyone hear me? Hello!' For a long while, there was no answer. Losing hope, Snow White again shouted, 'Hello! is anyone down there?' Just as she was about to give up all hope, she heard a faint voice from deep within the mine, "VOTE FOR Jeremy Corbyn!" Snow White fell to her knees and prayed, Oh, thank you, God! At least Dopey is still alive!