Perfect Passing

You want a miracle? I'll give you a miracle! According to the Bible, Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Palestine. A country where people are named Mohammad, Abdul, Mounir, Aziz, Ahmed, Farid, Omar, Youssouf, Mouloud, and so on. And yet he managed to find 12 friends called John, Peter, Paul, Phillip, Mark, Thomas, Luke, Matthew, Andrew and Simon... who all drank wine! Now that's what I call a bloody miracle!

Clive James....due to sign off one last time.

Vera Lynn. Don't worry though V, we'll meet again some sunny day!

George Cole, no reason other than being a contender.

Gone for Prince P, Had a royal birth, due a right royal death!!

It may just be a phantom pregnancy, like the previous Birth List occupant.

Oh Crap, was sure that we had our third hit of 2015 with B B King, turned out to be Ben E. King! Close, but not close enough, on paper anyway....

I'm pushing for Monday 20th April around 15:00 GMT, Girl, 6lb 9oz, Victoria Elizabeth Diana. Kate needs to be finishing pushing at this time, for me to be correct on the 1st prediction.

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you have sex with me?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" he asks, grinning at her. "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I love you so much!" "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" "Oh yes you can. Please?" "No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you..." Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's older sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice, she says........................... "Dad says to go ahead and have sex with him, or I can do it... If needs be Mum says she can come down herself and do it. But for God's sake, tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"

Is The Engineer is a bit keen to qualify for the Champions League? Submitting two teams? His 1st team & his 'B' team, initiating Greg Dykes vision on the future of English football.

Going for a big worldwide news story, voted for Castro

Top of the Shop! Kelly's Eye! Number One! Zsa Zsa Gabor.

To be informed that it's DDP value is......pointless.

A man and his wife moved back home to Cork, from London. The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Britain was £2,000.00 a year! When they arrived in Cork they went to an Insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure the wooden leg. The agent looked it up on the computer and said to the couple, '€39.00.' The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in Ireland to insure, because it cost him £2,000.00 in England! The agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, 'Well, here it is on the screen, it says: *Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system over it, is €39.00.*'

It will be very interesting to see how he gets on appealing against the sentence, time will tell, at the very least he is guilty of cheating on his multimillionaire girlfriend, who, as I understand, is sticking by him. So he has financial and emotional support from his nearest & dearest, so the chances of him topping himself are very slim, unless of course he loves the beautiful game so much that not being a player for any professional club makes him want to kill himself. I did find it laughable that a petition against Oldham Athletic signing Chad Evans generated 20,000+ signatures, when Oldham's average weekly game attendance is around 4,000, the power of social media, wow!

Fidel Castro, all de way!

In the words of Whitney Houston - I have nothing, nothing....nothing.... Due to the 20 I picked being a right load of crap! I didn't choose any low hanging fruit, I went for the big celebrities/personalities with old age on their side. For me to catch up I would need some Al Queda nut job to round them all up, say after some Saga Awards ceremony, hold them all hostage, in say some Jewish/Kosher supermarket, just outside Paris, and have the French Military do their bit, knowing that PP back in little England, needs some serious Death Race 2015 points, let's clear the whole lot out, then we can go home and have our tea! Oh well, I will need to be smarter next year and put down my inaugural year to lack of dead pooling experience. Still good fun tho!

There's something very wrong about a 98 year old man...... with a pony tail

Luise Rainer and Gery Leuliet were born on the same day and died 2 days apart.. Aye, but only one counts on the Deathrace. Well Done msc, off to a flying start.

I was working in the garden this weekend and my wife was about to take a shower. I realized that I couldn't find the rake. I yelled up to my wife, 'Where is the rake?' She couldn't hear me and she shouted back, 'What?' I pointed to my eye, and then I pointed to my knee and made a raking motion. Then my wife wasn't sure and said 'What?' I repeated the gestures. 'Eye - Kneed - The Rake' My wife replied that she understands and signals back. She first points to her eye, next she points to her left breast, then she points to her backside, and finally to her private area. Well, there is no way in hell I could even come close to that one. Exasperated, I went upstairs and asked her, 'What the hell was that?' She replies, 'Eye - Left Tit - Behind - The Bush' !!!!

Kohl gets my vote, no reason, other than I remember him being a really big fella, thus, his heart may have taken a lot of strain over the years.

Top of the shop, No:1, Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Good to see Zsa Zsa Gabor at the top spot. I hope she accepts the DL's Committee decision to appoint her No:1, and replicate what Ronnie Biggs did when he made the top of the list, by giving us a hit

Inducted into the WE Hall of Fame - Class of 2014, the same class as The Ultimate Warrior and he died within 3 days of the induction ceremony.

No Mohammed Ali for the second consecutive year, the DL Committee was right to miss him off the last twelve months, but will they be as fortunate for the coming year?