Soul Dracula

According to the latest reports Leslie Ash remains in a 'stable' condition hospital after a 'mystery virus' - nothing to do with the 'beating' she got from hubby Lee...oops, sorry, falling out of bed after a bout of boisterous lovemaking and breaking a rib and collapsing a lung (as you do!). How the hell did she hit the bedside table, you would have thought those inflated lips would have bounced her right back in to bed! Could it soon be a case of Leslie Ash's to Ashes?........

What about "Smashing, Great, Super" Jim Bowen of legendary Bullesye Fame? I guess he's still shuffling along quite nicely (another one who appeared in Peter Kay's Phoenix nights). "And have a look at would have you could have won"....what bloody good was a speedboat for 2 friends from land-locked Sutton Coldfield? "Stay in the black and out of the red, you get nothing in this game for two in a bed" (unless your names Sven Goran Erikson) And Bully's star prize.........

It really does make my blood boil (which is handy, 'cos I'm a bit partial to a drop of warm red stuff as a hot toddy) to all these people who post messages on any of the forums saying how morbid we are, a bunch of c*cksuckers, get a life etc (when you've been re-incarnated as much as me lives are the last thing I'm short of!). As soon as they enter the web-site they can immediately see what it's about, so do they log out? No, they obviously read some of the forums in their entirety and THEN post a rude reply about us! And how did they find the name of the site in the first place? Of course, many people would be offended by this site but you pay your money, you take your choices. If you don't like it, in the words of ZAMMO "Just say no!" And these are probably people who then log into "Jugs R Us" or "Asian Street Babes", look at all the pics/movies then complain how disgusting it all is! Right, enough of the rant.....I'm off to suck a few virgins (but not in the biblical sense, you understand).

Tsk! Tsk! Without doubt one of the Greatest Footballers ever, as those who were able to see him play will testify to, or just watch the videos now, absolute class. But I have little sympathy for him post-football. A bad drunk, liver transplant, another chance at life and he still pi**ed it all away. Whatever, thanks for the great memories and being the legend you are.

Hmmmm, and let's not forget his previous rape convictions and mental and physical torture he put his ex-wife Robin Givens through. In his heyday as a boxer he reigned supreme but legendary boxers like Ali, Sugar Ray et al retire at the top, not keep entering the ring in their late 30's as they p*ssed all their money away. The guy's getting exactly what he deserves and it's just lip service what he's saying now about being sorry for certain things and wanting to travel the world and help others. Personally, I have nothing against the guy but as a person he'll never be more than a low intelligence animal, just simmering till the next big explosion. And anyhow, how can he travel the world and help others - who's gonna take him seriously with that Tweety Pie voice?!......

I think you are right, had she looked like Waynetta Slob then no-one would really have given a toss but as she is a pretty girl, with big doey eyes and a nice pair of thru'pennies then a lot more people are interested. If she is as guilty as a previous post suggest, then lock her up, throw a video-camera in the cell and let's see a bit of girl-on-girl Asian/Australasian action.....or is that just me?!

[ I think his twitch has something to with a card crash he was in in 1990 - lospalmas 7] Oooh, nasty, was it the stack of cards forming a pyramid or did it involve 52 card pick-up?

Listen, don't mock poor Adam, ridicule is nothing to be proud of. He wasn't a Prince Charming though......

I think DWB could be right. I hear he's already been down to his local Crem in preparation - you should see that bloody chimney there now - he's re-pointed it and got rid of all the ashes that have clogged up the inside for years. It's all in the detail.....

If he does pops his clogs at least he won't be short of cards.......Clinton..Cards...get it? (groan)

Please, please fellow forum writers. Teletubby sounding and always-in-the-papers annoying he may be, but talentless? Most of us can only dream of playing football as well as him. This should be a closed chat now as he ain't going anywhere this year (apart from maybe back to Blighty).

If you're good enough you're old enough...he'll be the youngest ever to represent England, until he has to go off at half-time with a groin strain ( an old text injury) to be replaced by Romeo who will be only 12.

Maggie will never "officially" be declared dead, she'll be immediately embalmed, stuffed and wheeled out at every Conservative conference for a rallying call. She's down to regain leadership and become PM in 2011 and then in 2014 she's due to start up-front with Brooklyn Beckham when we stuff the Argies 1-0 in the World Cup Final.....such happy times ahead!

I've got Norman on a personal Deathlist this year but by the look of it the cheeky blighter is still more likely to be calling for Mr Grimshaw rather than Mr Grim-Reaper......