Imelda

37 Kraftwerk – The Model / Computer Love 36 Nena – 99 Red Balloons 34 a-ha – The Sun Always Shines On TV +4 26 Blondie – Atomic 25 Soft Cell – Tainted Love 22 Men at Work – Down Under 22 Madonna – Like a Prayer 20 George Michael – Careless Whisper 19 David Bowie – Ashes To Ashes 18 The Specials – Ghost Town 17 Madness – House Of Fun 17 Madonna – Into The Groove 14 Pet Shop Boys – It’s a Sin -6

Eyebrows down for Bernard Ingham

You Lose Again

My word, I can't type s n i g g e r i n g without it being amended upon save! What about Scunthorpe?

Last Christmas as well - the biggest selling number 2 of all time (no sN-wording at the back!!). Kept off the top by Band Aid. And then there's tracks which didn't even hit the top 5 but sold tons and became iconic - the most obvious being Blue Monday. If that track was unleashed on the current voting like a rando contestant being dropped into the jungle, would it end-up winning the whole thing? It might well do.

Time to wheel out the old gag: Yoko Ono will be appearing on the next series of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. She'll be brilliant at the Bushtucker Trials seeing as she's been living off a dead Beatle for the past 40 years.

100%! I basically gave up on chart music about 2005. The 90's saw a decline in standards from the 80's - that decade was the real high point for quality and creativity.

33 a-Ha – The Sun Always Shines On TV +4 30 Kraftwerk – The Model / Computer Love 29 Nena – 99 Red Balloons 25 Blondie – Atomic 24 Soft Cell – Tainted Love 24 Madonna – Into The Groove 21 Madonna — Like a Prayer 20 Men at Work – Down Under 19 Madness – House Of Fun 19 The Communards & Sarah Jane Morris – Don’t Leave Me This Way 18 George Michael— Careless Whisper 17 David Bowie – Ashes To Ashes 17 Pet Shop Boys — It’s a Sin -6 15 Bee Gees – You Win Again 15 Eurythmics – There Must Be An Angel (Playing With My Heart)  15 The Specials — Ghost Town  12 The Human League – Don’t You Want Me

Which in turn makes Sam Matterface Ali Dia - a hopeless chancer who has somehow conned his way into the first team. Ali Dia was at least subbed off, whilst Matterface is somehow still going despite constant ridicule. Seeing as it isn't natural talent that has made him ITV's #1 commentator, you must wonder what other non-commentating skill he possess.

He must be shitting himself! Can he make it until the weekend? Don't forget Des though.

I wonder how much motivation the Kurds will have to feed her now she's effectively lost her status as a bargaining chip.

31 Kraftwerk – The Model / Computer Love 27 a-ha – The Sun Always Shines On TV +4 27 Nena – 99 Red Balloons 25 Eurythmics – There Must Be An Angel (Playing With My Heart) 24 Soft Cell – Tainted Love 23 The Specials — Ghost Town 22 Madonna – Into The Groove 21 David Bowie — Ashes To Ashes 21 George Michael – Careless Whisper 21 Human League – Don´t You Want Me 21 Blondie – Atomic 20 Men at Work – Down Under 20 Pet Shop Boys – It’s a Sin -6 19 Bee Gees – You Win Again 18 Madonna — Like A Prayer 17 Madness – House Of Fun 17 Communards & Sarah Jane Morris – Don´t Leave Me This Way 14 Belinda Carlisle – Heaven Is A Place On Earth 10 Frankie Goes to Hollywood – Two Tribes 5 Enya – Orinoco Flow

Orinoco Flown

31 a-ha – The sun always shines on TV +4 29 Pet Shop Boys – It’s a Sin -3 25 Eurythmics – There must be an angel (playing with my heart) 25 Kraftwerk – The Model / Computer Love 23 Soft Cell – Tainted Love -3 24 Madonna – Into the groove 22 Madonna — Like a Prayer 21 George Michael – Careless Whisper 21 Human League – Don´t you want me 21 Nena – 99 red balloons 20 David Bowie – Ashes to Ashes 20 Men at Work – Down Under 20 Blondie – Atomic 20 Madness – House of fun 20 The Specials — Ghost Town 19 Communards & Sarah Jane Morris – Don´t leave me this way 19 Bee Gees – You win again 19 Belinda Carlisle – Heaven is a place on earth 17 David Bowie — Ashes to Ashes 15 Enya – Orinoco Flow 10 Frankie Goes to Hollywood – Two Tribes 10 The Bangles – Eternal Flame

A bunfight over The Jam already. Boom-tish.

I suspect Kylie won't be lucky for much longer

22 a-ha – The sun always shines on TV +2 22 Frankie goes to Hollywood – Two Tribes +2 20 Bee Gees – You win again 20 Belinda Carlisle – Heaven is a place on earth 20 Blondie – Atomic 20 Bonnie Tyler – Total eclipse of the heart 20 Communards & Sarah Jane Morris – Don´t leave me this way 20 Enya – Orinoco Flow 20 Eurythmics – There must be an angel (playing with my heart) 20 George Michael – Careless Whisper 20 Human League – Don´t you want me 20 Kraftwerk – The Model / Computer Love 20 Kylie Minogue – I should be so lucky 20 Madness – House of fun 20 Men at Work – Down Under 20 Nena – 99 red balloons 20 Pet Shop Boys – It´s a sin 20 Pet Shop Boys – West End Girls 20 Soft Cell – Tainted Love 20 Madonna – Into the groove 18 The Bangles – Eternal Flame -2 18 The Specials – Ghost Town -2 18 David Bowie – Ashes to Ashes -2 18 The Jam – A town called Malice 18 Madonna – Like a prayer

Finalists by origin 2 AUS 2 BRD 1 EIR 9 ENG 1 IoM/AUS 1 ENG/JAM 2 ENG/SCO 1 NOR 5 USA 1 WAL Obviously the UK dominates but 2x West German finalists is a minor surprise. The Australians also do well.

As a preview (don't start voting!) Here are the standings going into the final, based on how the groups finished; 76 George Michael – Careless Whisper 71 Belinda Carlisle — Heaven Is A Place On Earth 70 Kraftwerk – The Model / Computer Love 69 A- ha – The Sun Always Shines on TV 66 Madonna – Into the Groove 59 Nena – 99 Red Balloons 51 Enya — Orinoco Flow 49 Madonna — Like a Prayer 48 Madness – House of Fun 45 The Bangles — Eternal Flame 41 Pet Shop Boys — West End Girls 40 The Jam – Town called Malice / Precious 39 The Communards & Sarah Jane Morris – Don’t Leave Me This Way 38 Pet Shop Boys – It’s A Sin 37 Soft Cell — Tainted Love 37 Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse of the heart 36 Men at Work – Down Under 35 Frankie Goes to Hollywood – Two Tribes 33 David Bowie — Ashes to Ashes 33 Bee Gees — You win Again 31 The Human League — Don`t You Want Me 29 Blondie — Atomic 28 Kylie Minogue — I Should Be So Lucky 26 The Specials — Ghost Town 23 Eurythmics — There must be an angel (playing with my heart) Wonder how closely this will align with the forthcoming battle. Will the winner come from the top 5 above? 3x Madge, 2x PSB tracks. I'll enjoy the bun-fighting over those. Tell you what, I'd love a group system to get the final 5 for a straight shoot-out

Fnarr fnarr

LMGTFY https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=why+do+people+hate+yoko+ono

I know my favourite turd. It was when I managed to find the only clean cubicle at Glastonbury on the very last day, right at the very top of the hill - with a spicy prawn gumbo eaten a few hours previously knocking at the bomb doors.

71 Belinda Carlisle — Heaven Is A Place On Earth +4 51 Enya — Orinoco Flow 49 Madonna — Like a Prayer -2 45 The Bangles — Eternal Flame 28 Kylie Minogue — I Should Be So Lucky 0 Marc Almond & Gene Pitney — Something's Gotten Hold of My Non-Beating Heart -4 Serendipity Thanks for teeing it up, EP

Should have made that terminal when I had the chance

65 Belinda Carlisle — Heaven Is A Place On Earth 44 Enya – Orinoco Flow 43 Madonna — Like a prayer 42 The Bangles – Eternal Flame 35 Kylie Minogue – I Should Be So Lucky +4 31 Marc Almond & Gene Pitney - Something’s Gotten Hold of my Heart -6 22 Pet Shop Boys - Heart 11 Tiffany – I Think We're Alone Now 09 Kylie Minogue - Hand On Your Heart