Godot
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Posts posted by Godot
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Yup it's come around again. Have been thinking about this for all of five minutes. I can't give up beer as I'm off to
at the weekend. So it has to be complete DL cold turkey after lurking about too much this past few weeks. It's tough as the DL is still the best thing on the box.But I think there has to be something in the fasting line too so have decided to lay off pastry until Easter. So that's all pies, pasties, egg custards and jam tarts. Tough but doable.
Is anyone else going to join me in some seasonal self-induced suffering. Lardy? How about cheese and bacon burgers?
How about the entire membership pledging to be nice to Banshees for 40 days. Is that possible?
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Some nice points Banshees. The panel should certainly have considered George Carlin and that was an oversight but it remains happy with Lyttleton and if you don't know him well, you should get some tapes of "I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue," one of the funniest shows in any media in the past 20 years. Samantha is your type, definitely.
The creases exchange - the series of posts, not just the one that sparked it off - was also very fine. Thanks for recalling it. It's a shame you didn't mention it earlier as it might have earned a Monkey all of its own.
I had a good laugh going over the "ironing" posts again. Honez and LFN made me feel so ashamed because I do the bare minimum around the house and the long suffering Mrs Godot just lives to serve. It's horrible, shaming, degrading and fills me with self-loathing and some extraordinarily fine Yorkshire puds and gravy when she is cooking her best. When I and those like me are dead and feeding the worms no one shall shed a tear for such antedeluvian behaviour. Still, I guess they won't be burying me with my sewing machine.
And that really is my last word for a while. I'm going to miss this place.
Sayonara,
G
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The Monkeys 2009
It’s that time – tonight’s the night that Deathlisters honour their own. Are we all wearing our best bib and tuckers?*
After the runaway success of Banshees Scream in several categories the last time around, the Scream had a quieter year in 2008, much to the relief of his fellow posters and therapist.
This was a record-matching year for the DL in its predictions, reflecting the professionalism and thoroughness that underpins the forum. Nowhere was this more evident than in the predictive posting of Devon Death Trip whose suggestions in “Ideas and possibilities” were keeling over before the ink was dry on his posts.
Where does he find them? Wherever it is, it delivered success in the Derby Deadpool and means that he retains the Poster of the Year accolade in the Monkeys (not for deadpool success, the panel hastens to add, but for his unhealthy devotion to deadpooling on the DL).
Again due to popular demand there is the coveted Monkey for Most Entertaining Poster. There were many quality contenders. The double-act of Lard Bazaar and LFN gelled well. The sharp wit of Honez deserves a mention and so too does the gentle quirkiness of Dave to the Grave. But for his steady stream of chucklesome posts the Most Entertaining Monkey is the one and only Anubis The Jackal (even without his ******).
Among the newcomers TAFKAG, welcomed here by the much pissed missed Star Crossed, Deadtowrites and BC Alum have become regular posters. BC Alum showed a few Banshee-like traits and he was nominated for a special category “tease of the year” that puzzled the panel somewhat, but not a few others.
The newcomer who seemed to create the strongest impression, striking the right tone in her posts, was Dia de los Muertos who was quickly alerted to the threat of stalkers - see comments. She is Newcomer of the Year.
By popular request we also have a Put Down of the Year Monkey this year and this goes to the DL’s “national treasure” Mr Bruno Brimley who became rather irked when LFN decided he was really Banshee Scream. Well wouldn’t anyone?
There were many nominations for Death of the Year including the obvious candidates such as Paul Newman and Sir Edmund Hillary, fine choices both. But, this being the Monkeys, it was felt that due consideration should go to those who had made a distinctive contribution to life's rich tapestry (cut the hyperbole, Ed). Studs Terkel and Bobby Fischer came close. Solzhenitsyn might have won a Monkey for the least pronounceable name. But two names stood out and choosing between them was difficult. Neither Oliver Postgate nor Humphrey Lyttleton ever graced the Deathlist but they should have done. Lyttleton, with his wicked sense of humour, wins it, an honorary deathlister if ever there was one.
There were a few good rants this year. Like this. Windsor almost made Room 101 his own thread. LFN featured strongly again but as stress began to show, a few of us, it seems from the strength of the nominations, were entertained by the tones of desperation in Odstock’s post here. So he wins the Rant of the Year Monkey.
The picture association thread in its various incantations proved a hit this year, not with everyone, but with many. So it is Thread of the Year. The panel decided not to award an avatar Monkey this year.
Best Post Monkey goes to Honez, not just for the one post here, but for the way he helped to transform an unpromising thread about the perceived threat of the large hadron collider in to one of the liveliest of 2008.
Best link
posted by Lady Grendel.Joke of the Year: MPFC was once again responsible for some of the best and the worst. This one was a strong contender. But Phantom snatched it with this.
There isn’t a Monkey for moderators but if there were the winner would be Lady Grendel.
Death of the year: Humphrey Lyttleton
Thread of the year: Picture Association
Poster of the year: Devon Death Trip
Most entertaining poster: Anubis the Jackal
Best newcomer: Dia de los Muertos
Best Post: Honez
Rant of the year: Octopus of Odstock
Put down of the year: Bruno Brimley
Best link: Lady Grendel
Joke of the year: Phantom
Mentions in dispatches: There should be a special mention for LFN for organising the DL convention again. The panel noted earlier the online chemistry of LFN and Lardy whose bum-baring threats, amusingly outrageous posts, often at the expense of herself, have done much to raise the tone of the site. For those who are left Monkyless look no further than Peter O’Toole who has never won an Oscar. There ain’t no justice.
A note from the sponsors: The Monkeys has hardly been going long enough to become a fixture here and this is the last year that it will be compiled by the existing panel. If anyone (apart from Banshees Scream who is not eligible) would like to take on the clerk’s job next year please feel free. The only qualification is an appreciation of the quirkiness of the Deathlist and a willingness to be arsed (as opposed to can’t be arsed). Short of that, these posts might be allowed to drift in to the nether world of forgotten threads.
Reluctantly for him, Godot is going away for a while, presently, to the land of the Oogum Biglows where he will try his damndest not to lurk or peak but that will be difficult.
*NB. Acceptance speeches are welcome but try to keep them short and no tears please.
PS. This post has taken all f*****g day.
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Les Munro, the last of the Dambusters, is worth watching. He might have made a unique pick in the DDP. He still might if he's still alive next year and this note has been nicely buried. -
It's more then a feeling. They slip away just when you aren't looking. A DL members contract is about to expire and reaching a deal which would promise his continuence is highly unlikely. The end is near. The guilt disease is rapidly spreading and it's safe to say that he is in the advanced stages.He is approaching his final show down. The glass is empty and the cigar is burning out. Life doesn't want to share. Life is waiting for Godot. Ring down the curtain. We applaud "clap clap" .. and you fade away.
If your going to go out make sure you go out with a bang.
Banshees what are you on about? As far as I know you're not even up for a Monkey this year. Have you been at the peanut butter again?
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Ooh, I dunno, there's a few great Ravi Shankar stories. Like the time he was tuning up with his musicians before they played their part in George Harrison's Concert for Bangladesh. The audience were so pig ignorant they thought the tuning up was a number and applauded it when it finished.
I think I would have been among them. That said, I do have one of his CDS for those times when I feel the need to light a candle and adopt the lotus position, except with my lack of suppleness it's more like a cauliflower and certainly not up to this.
You can't ever imagine Ravi saying: "You hum it and I'll play it."
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How do you plan to represent the scores as they happen? Just wondered, like. You could end up with mucky millions of quite a few teams on here on page after page.
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He is already 101 and going strong. Pretty healhy man.He puts it down to the squid.
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1. To wear my days of the week socks in the wrong order.2. To eat more spinache
3. To stop collecting boxes from supermarkets
4. To throw something away every week
5. To plant at least one tree
6. To have less stuff (which probably relates to 4)
7. To get a life (which probably means spending less time here)
Have just found these - failed on 3,4,6 and 7. Anybody made any this year?
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NO-ONE should go and see Australia......Jeez what a pile of shite.....Thanks for this grob. I was going to go see it but will save myself the money now. Watched Roman Holiday last night (I'm with Typhoid Harry on New Year's Eve - well not "with" him but in agreement with his "amateur night" remarks). Audrey Hepburn - what a girl. Eddie Albert was good too and the scene with the Mouth of Truth - what a scene. They don't pace films as slowly as this any more and that's a shame.
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Long live Castro. He had good ideas. Anybody against should take their head and shove up their arse; see if it fits.Peace to the World.
(But kill bastards like Bush)
Imagine having an "allowance" on what you can "buy" to eat every month. I doubt anyone of us can live on 3 eggs a month. Or having an uncle thrown in prison for 12 yrs because he was caught selling red-meat (personal experience)
Three eggs a month? Where I come from that were luxury. We ad't go down t'mine, work up to us' necks in coal dust, come back, wash us'sens in mud puddles, eat lard and shoe-leather sandwiches for tea and get up before we went t'bed wi no leet on. Prison? We could only dream o' prison.
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Congratulations DDT. A very well deserved win.
G
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I'm eager to announce that Master Mind 2009 was entered a few days ago. I stand very confident in my teams performance and I'm aiming at my first DDP championship. I would also be the first modern American to win the competition. I'm anticipating the quality in other teams that my rivals have created and I look forward to seeing what they got.What does this mean? Did Pocahontas win it once?
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Happy New Year and happy birthday to all those who had birthdays during the year or all those with bellybuttons if you prefer a more graphic format. I think that just about covers everyone.
All those with bellybuttons.....
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I left her out but that's just because I dislike Eastenders and have no interest in her. Yes even after all these years of dismal DDP performances I'm still choosing my team based on those whose obituaries I'd be interested to read.She's a rubbish actress, and she's not going to die - I left her out too. I've got more chance of dying next year than she has.
She was a crappy Just a Minute panellist too.
She's so wooden, I don't know what the fuss about her is - I've seen more wood in my bedroom this year, and that's saying something, believe me.
Anyone who has a collection of more than 1,000 ornamental frogs can't be that bad. I liked her as Miss Brahms and thought she worked well with Mollie Sugden who has been off the radar for a long time.
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I spent most of the morning fiddling with Wendy Richard - took her out, put her back, out again, then back. Have chucked out all my timewasters from this year apart from Bobby who deserves his place in any squad. Have just the one, a trade unionist, I think will be a unique pick.
Among my "nearlies" were Michael Foot (who I hear has gone ga ga) and Peter O'Toole who will probably work until he drops. I had Maurice Herzog (would probably have been a unique pick) up to today when I decided to ban Frenchmen from the team after their poor performance this year although I've already forgotten what it is. Otherwise I might have been tempted by Michel Desjoyeaux, fairly tramming along just now in the southern ocean.
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Nothing on YouTube yet, but there was a classic mother and daughter exchange between Barbara and Denise over Barbara's recipe for gravy in the Royle Family at Christmas.
Denise: How do you make gravy?
Barbara: Well, you get an Oxo cube, take the silver paper off, put it in a bowl and pour on boiling water.
Denise: Do you have to stir it?
Barbara: Yes you have to stir it.
Denise: You wouldn't write it down would you?
Later, over Christmas dinner, someone mentions that Elvis Presley died on the toilet.
Jim: "You wouldn't credit it - all those number ones, and it was a number two that killed him."
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The panel is having to deal with the Monkeys a little earlier this year so if you have any nominations please add them here or PM me soonest. Have already had one or two. The winners will be appearing in the next day or two.
PS, please could someone with transformational powers change the heading to Best of the Deathlist 2008.
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Congratulations DDT, a very well deserved win. I can't do much now with the timewasters left in my team. Unless Maurice Allais was to peg it at the last, it would need two more deaths clear of your own picks and no-one would give odds on that. You can never trust the French.
It's been fun and surprising to be up there all this year and I'd like to thank all those committed picks who "took one for the team." Pinter, you old dog, making us wait like that, but adding a little spice at the last. A good effort but not quite good enough.
Not sure whether to enter for 2009 as I need to quit the DL for a time but might put together a scratch squad at the death, so to speak.
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'Dec 23 2008, 02:44 AM' [/b]post='126238']Apologies for the late delay of this year's competition but the 2009 competition is doing my nut in.
Nevertheless, I still hope, big deaths in the next 8 days notwithstanding, to get the new DDP up in some reasonable timescale & this year's competition all done & dusted asap. 
Right, I think I'll now grab 4 hours max of kip before I go to work tomorrow.
OoO, why don't you take a few days off? It will all still be there when you come back. Enjoy Christmas with friends and family and get drunk, I'd hate to think of you spending Christmas afternoon wrestling with HTML codes.
My team will be going in later today, I think it's safe to say I'm retiring from ultra competitive deadpooling.
[Edit - I lied about my DDP team, it's not that bad actually, but I won't be winning next year]
OoO Can't possibly have time off at this time of the year. It's not like Santa who can put his feet up now. There's the DDP to update, after all.
Yes, Death and OoO are going to be busy in the next few days. -
Had a chat with a TV type last night (not the dress-wearing kind, more's the shame)Apparently 3 old duffers, 2 of whom have been mentioned at length on these pages, are going on an expedition to the Antarctic. May have a DDP punt on the 3rd of the party, as he's not getting any younger and doesn't have the same experience of such harsh conditions.
They are only going to Cape Horn and they're probably there now. It's not much different than a trip to the Shetland Islands in summer. Skip Novak, who lives down there, will take care of them. Your man has been in much more dangerous situations. Still he carries quite a bit of weight.
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Room 101
in DeathList extra-curricular
Posted
OK, I know it's giving up my Lenten vows but I'm pissed off with 24-hour clocks. Was just about to set off to airport for a 6.30 flight to Dublin when printed off e-ticket and it said 06.25 - sh*t, bugger, arseholes.
It's cost me £240 to get a replacement ticket for tonight instead of the £42 ticket that I lost. Mrs Godot doesn't let me near forms of any kind ordinarily but I thought I would book this one myself as it's a lads trip. Bollocks. I don't have my tea at 1700 hours, I have it at 5 0-clock. What's wrong with o-f*****g-clock?
It means I won't get to Dublin until three or four pints to midnight now and Mrs G says I can whistle for a birthday present.
Feck! Arse! Drink!