Dr. Zorders

Sorry,thats an absolute crock of shit. People got the opportunity to vote on an alternative in 2011 and a whole 42% of the population managed to drag themselves away from the telly and overwhelmingly reject a change. THAT is democracy, not perfect by any stretch but democracy all the same. Im getting massively fucked off at all of the whinging about the result. The Tories polled the most votes under the system that WE wanted to keep. If things here were that shit there wouldn't be hundreds of migrants across the channel risking their lives to get here let alone the millions trying to get into Europe with the main aim of getting into our social and economic utopia. On a personal level, laying my cards on the table, Im grateful that a Political ideology that should have been left back in 1973 hasn't got into power to arse rape ordinary folk like me. There are multitudes of people out there who have worked their fucking arses off to make their lives as comfortable as possible while significant amounts of people around me look on in resentment that I have dared to buy a home and have two holidays a year and a new mowtah on the drive etc etc. The fact that I shifted my arse from my bed at 4.30am to go and put some hours in at work to pay for these 'luxuries' has fuck all to do with anything, right? I used to laugh about my much missed Dad and the amount of 'Angry from Tunbridge Wells' letters he used to write about all manner of things. Thing is, when I really think about it, here was a man who came home with ingrained oil on his hands, smelling of Engines who spent his life working his arse off through the grim times and the hard times. No summer holidays, no new cars and the council house that he bought off the Council was repo'd back in the 80s because the small business he tried to build couldn't survive that recession. So it was back to a council house and two years unemployment for a highly skilled man. A life where he was loved and a life ended in a hospital bed in the lounge of his and mums council house. Angry of Tunbridge Wells was actually angry at the hand wringing 'oh woe is me' food bank society that have grown up completely unable and unwilling to take any responsibility for themselves, instead blaming governments and resenting those that wanted to get on with things. Truly pathetic. ..... Many people using food banks are actually in work. So......... you're just going off the deep end there (which means anyone within 50m will get soaked). I'm still mulling over this election. However, we should just be very glad we're not Mullah-ing it over as we would be if Miliband got in. The dozy fuckwit. He really is a fucking thick cunt. I hate that he's so rich from a non-career of not ever helping no poor person ever. Just wanking around in London and jizzing over his dad's commie memoirs. :smiley_f: I had a funny dream last night that his wife left him and he offed himself but, y'know "if she's thick enough to marry him in the first place", etc, so forget it......

Simon Hughes won't even be there, and he's been there longer than the fucking mace. I wonder who BBC/Sky news channels will get now as their "bored MP who'll come on and just discuss anything".

They don't need to be snooping on us.... they need to be snooping on who's coming off those fucking Mediterranean boats the dumb fucks. It's Jihadi Central out there. But at least thanks to Ed's cunt-tacular failing we won't be getting that fucking "Islamophobia" law oooh I bet they'll smack his arse until it's no-longer-red down at the next Fabian society meeting, for that In other news this is my first experience under a full-blooded Tory government while having pubes. I feel oddly uncomfortable with Cameron in full charge I have to admit, but there's other things I'm glad Clegg won't be influencing on. With the coalition it was always the worst of both worlds..... lololol.... Really surprised to see you "up and about" and joking.... (not trying to rub it in, jus' sayin. You and half the userbase actually) When that exit poll came out that's the biggest sudden "hush" I can remember from a crowd since when wrestler Owen Hart plunged from the rafters back in '99. I thought the same thing. That's the spirit!

So, what about that young fella who ousted Douglas Alexander? Ugly as fuck!

Wow, that's the next 5 years of "material" for Mock the Week and Russell Howard sorted then! #excitingtimes #yawningisactuallyverytherapeutic

That was brutal. "DEad by dawn"? Also just remembered this: https://twitter.com/frankieboyle/status/586168982773886976 Got an odd feeling most of those jokes will have to be hastily re-written or scrapped....?

They've got some really hilarious stuff on Channel 4's "Alternate Election" coverage. Some bloke going on about how the seas are gonna rise cos of car emissions or something! TV people seem to be all talking about the exit poll as gospel now, bit shocking.

Paul Nuttall of UKIP on TV and even he says he doubts the poll is right. Says he can't see Labour being under 260 or Cons being over 300. No-one hates Labour more than UKIP, so....... Anyone know why Sunderland is "always first" to declare, btw? I guess it's cos they're the most eager to prove they can count?

Shouldn't charon be Deputy PM? I mean, he's an oaf who's been on a boat..... Deathray should be transport since his unconditional love for snooker is on the same level as trainspotting. Toast should be head of Rural affairs and Cheese-rolling. Also I tried to think of a better PM then I realised I wouldn't wanna serve under any of you really so I'm officially doing a Heseltine. MPFC would be better as some sort of left-wing version of Norman Tebbit I think, with yourself as PM. All I ask is that you don't mind if I roll a few barrels into the Commons basement at night, while dressed in a curious early 17th century outfit, without too many questions. It's just beer that's all.

You should start a pub act where you sing American songs but with the words "corrected". I think you'll find an audience....of sorts. (i.e. you'd get a lot of generous tips from David Mitchell)

I bet you are a blast at Parties. oh yeah. you been to any lately? (p.s. I have tons of "normal music". I just like to remember that Billy Gunn was "an ass man" that's all.)

The music streaming site Grooveshark was taken down "without warning" last week (although people had been sorta predicting it for a while). The vast majority of the music was unlicensed, so essentially it was nothing more than a streamy, more modern equivalent of Ye Old Napster. I think the RIAA is now in the process of suing its corpse. I had lots of good movie music (and other shit like wrestling themes) playlisted on there so I'm a bit annoyed, might not be able to find some of that elsewhere

Does anyone find that to be the most cringeworthy pun-type nickname ever? Sloane Ranger? I mean... ha ha ha? It's just one of those things that must have seemed big and clever to all the people who liked it at the time but now to younger people it just seems awful. You know, like Casablanca.

I heard a Norfolk town near the border with Suffolk is close to electing a UKIP MP. But some members of the immigrant community have arrived and started a dissuadement campaign called "Don't Diss".

Agreed. They need to get rid of the enabling act.

I haven't speaked to any Halibuts in a while either

Erm, anyone notice how people are a lot less whiny about the DL hit count this year? This time in 2014, guests and users alike were all "waaaah, why aren't we already on 12 hits! etc." I'm guessin the scary events of last summer and the Paris attacks put a few things into perspective... (Although lookin at how high Ayatollah Milibandi is polling, maybe not the second one? )

Useless fact: in the 1960s my aunt had a siamese cat named after him. It's dead. I'm guessing it lived to about the same age as most cats? Would be very appropriate to have a teenage pussy named after the King of Thailand.

Not really. There is gonna be 50 odd SNP winning candidates. Chances are we've all argued with one of them at somepoint Just had a look at his Twitter, "argued with him on Bebo" is quite poss. just a euphemism for something...... well it probs is for others anyway. I realised the reason they don't call it the Scottish National Independence Party is cause it would make the witch's English castration fantasies even more obvious than they already are. The massive irony is that Mel Gibson bitterly hates the fact that Hollywood is run by left-wing gays, but now because of that stupid film England is about to be turned into a Haggis Republic by pigshit-thick Holyrood gays who think nuclear weapons are "so 80s darling" but gay-killing Halibuts (who will shortly be more nuclearly armed than we are) are just fine...

Who? Who? Who? Any relation to Timothy?

So... is he paying sad tribute to Adolf or has he just spotted him out the window at the same time as some indigestion?

So? Gazza's gotta be in the top 10 and he's gonna be remembered as a piss-head proto-Amy Winehouse tear-spraying Raoul-Moat botherer.

I know. But people would be much less likely to pull that lame trick if the thread creator would just simply click the "make votes public" when making the poll, as I used to always do when I made these threads. Apparently it's a completely unknown concept for The Unknown Man.........

US Senator Joe McCarthy died aged 48, this day in 1957.

No more Pfaffing about for American book-reviewer/newspaper-columnist-type-person William Pfaff http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Pfaff Also look at how some tard on Wikipedia has included a picture of what surely must be completely different William Pfaff (it's there as I type this, may be gone later). If that pic was taken after 1900 I'm the fucking Mayor of Timbuktu.