Dr. Zorders

Russell Brand has endorsed the Green Party.

http://www.euronews.com/2015/05/01/frankfurt-may-day-cycle-race-cancelled-after-terror-threat/ Erm..... terrorists threatened to bomb a cycle race in Frankfurt. And even though the culprit was arrested before he could attack they still cancelled the race anyway. It'll be "back next year" apparently. (I think that statement is more about trying to kid themselves their country will still be recognisable by this time next year than anything else. I mean if you have a policy of cancelling everything and staying indoors every time some fucking medieval mong makes a half-arsed plot.) And these are supposed to be the "most logical" people and Europe, and it's supposedly the "strongest" country in Europe.......

So does this mean (the rest of) Syria falls next for ISIS?

How about "Florin fisher".

Oh also, old fart makes unfunny posters criticising his money-grubbing councillors so they send the Stasi round. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/11570181/Former-Monty-Python-cameraman-arrested-over-satirical-posters.html This is the commie version of "I'm not racist but........" "Derogatory remarks", gasp....! In politics? No, we can't have that! Bet he said that shortly before he went on Twitter and called Farage a "racist closet loonie", the monumentally demented 215lb bag of cancer-pus.

So erm, the latest from Squeezedbagofjellybabiesface is he's going to introduce more laws to make it even more illegal to criticise people who try to force their medieval lifestyles on everyone else. Apparently he doesn't think the existing thought cr er, hate crime legislation is enough. I'm mostly just posting it as a warning to people on the board really, you might have to rename the Terrorist thread the "Misunderstood Freedom-Fighting Heroes" thread if ya don't want to be the subject of a show-trial, that's all. If it was gonna be any kind of turning point in the election it would have been more of a story by now.

He died happy 'cause he finally fulfilled the Italian stereotype of being well-hung.

I'll never forget that time he appeared on "Celebrity Pointless" with Orville. I don't think I've ever scrambled so hard and fast for the Sky remote, or did that "mash any and all buttons until something else appears" thing so ferociously.

The Care-Home Crippler

Her sisters alive. Aye, but some of those currently alive still have to negotiate the descent without the fixed ropes and marked route that got swept away in the avalanche. If only we'd been notified of this impending disaster on 31st December, eh? I was thinking about this. Lets say that the authorities know that, say, 22 people are missing presumed dead BUT, as they start finding the bodies they I.D one and find out that that its somebody that died up there in, say, 1988. We know that the place is heaving with 'left where they died corpses' maybe, as part of a cleansing process, most of those bodies have now come down in the avalanche. Could 'appen. Erm, yeah there's a simple way to tell the difference - the fresh corpses don't have massive perms/mullets and Def Leppard cassettes heaving out of their jacket pockets........ (*Although, now I think of it, this probably isn't 100% reliable for German corpses)

The parole board types have massively failed to consider the potential consequences when he finds out Jodie was a lesbian all along.

You want less foreigners and more trees. Maybe she just wants less foreign trees. In which case.... someone needs to start a party called OAKIP. Why does Danny Alexander remind me of Beaker from the Muppet Show? A 1000 internets for the person who can rustle up a picture of him in the same shot as Eric Pickles. You have Beaker and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew in full view... Is this cheating? That's the official photo? No wonder they were a shambles... Um yeah that's called "pretending to muck about and be all casual so the people don't take you seriously and let their guard down so you can pass loads of laws that fuck 'em over while they're not looking". Invented by this guy IIRC...

Oh right, Everest. Boooring. He was their head of privacy apparently. When I saw he snuffed it in an avalanche, I assumed it was cause he opened a cupboard full of our personal data....

I remember him from The Hand of Fear in particular. When acting was acting and not getting your shirt off to hide your obvious stage school talent... A little jealous that you are not Aidan Turner? methinks... I don't know who that is, so not jealous at all Edit: just googled...still don't know who he is, I've seen nothing he's in, and by the sounds of it, he spends his time in nothing but his underbritches lol. I can't therefore comment on his talent or lack of it. He's in a "new version" of Poldark where it basically involves him getting his tits out for the lad(ie)s. I only know cos I saw it on the cover of Radio Times while I was on the shitter. Now I think of it I can't even remember the last time I thought "wonder what's on BBC1", if ever. Still it's got be a vast improvement on being told asked to worship Cumberbatch and Redmayne IMO.

The film critic who coined the term "drop dead gorgeous" has.... dropped dead http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/richard-corliss-dead-time-magazine-791226

It's St. George's Day today.

Tanked.

Bet life wasn't very riveting at 97 was it.

They want us all to die for mother earth so it's nice to see one of them finally leading by example.

Fuck it, ex-Egyptian "president" Mohammed Morsi has escaped the death penalty in his trial for ordering the killing of protesters. However he got 20 years and he's 63.

Careful with your salutes, fellas.

Apparently he was Chancellor of Exeter in the 1970s Depleted Leader of the Labour Party in the 1980s Nice to see the original People's Eyebrows are still holding up fairly well

Ive spent the last few weeks not wanting to kick the TV screen in but I cannae hold it no more. Milliband is a massive cunt. Another 'socialist' that makes all the gestures and talks a load of shite about social justice and the like while he lives in a million pound house that has a Kitchen for his missus and himself and one for his NANNY and his kids. What fucking planet does this massive tool live on? Privileged? Oxbridge? Etonian? What kind of moron truly thinks that Labour is any better/more working class than the Tories??? As soon as Labour get in the money will fuck off abroad faster than diarrhea down a bog. That's something they don't quite grasp, the wealthy tend to create wealth for the rest of us working classes to live on. DOH!!! Ive worked under Labour and the Tories, both are shite but one is massively shite. Labour. Greens? Hahahahahashahahahahahahahahahaha. Lib Dems? See ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ UKIP? Hmmmm. If you look beyond the mud slinging "They is a bunch of racists innit" they have ideas that are not too bad, I mean, we wouldn't be throwing foreign aid at India anymore, right? The worst possible nightmare will be a Labour SNP coalition. I truly wished the Scottish electorate had shown more balls and had voted for independence. The Tories are what they are and have always been, rich cunts that look after the rich. Having said all of that, what the fuck is wrong with our society?? Food banks?? What the fuck is that about!!! Anybody would think that poverty is a new fangled concept, which, well, it must be. We have bred a citizen that takes absolutely no responsibility for themselves and expects the state to house them, clothe them and now do the fucking shopping for them. Pathetic. Nobody seems to get it, we are all screwed, and screwing the 'fat cat bankers' has more to do with seeking justice than making the economy work. There IS money out there and there ARE jobs, unfortunately, due to the callous treatment and subjugation of the working classes by the capitalist elite, if you don't earn a fat wage, own a house and drive a car that is three years old or newer you are a VICTIM ........... which is great, eh. Politics isn't radical, to be radical will require honesty and all Politicians are fucking liars so that's out then. Same old shit with a different wrapper then, Thanks Alf/Steptoe/whatever. Agree about the demented denial of Ed Miliband's poshness though. He's a sheltered, spluttering, wobbly-kneed 45-year-old manchild who makes Moonface look like Abraham Lincoln by comparison. Also, LOL @ going on about "rich people and poor people" or something, when Robosnot will probably pass the "Liberating Those Poor Misunderstood Islamic Geniuses from Horrible Old Nasty Right-Wing Racist Tory Laws About Not Beheading and Stoning Random People At Will Act" on day 2.

Po-tay-toe? Boil em mash em stick em in a word salad!

What curse is that? The number of times the remaining viewers are cursed to hear the ratty old BBC commentators mutter the world "Crucible" in a vain attempt to inject some artificial drama into an extremely faded tournament which has been rendered so by a clueless megalomaniac old fart who has so physically and mentally knackered his own already monosyllabic players by making them travel to every corner of Eastern Europe and backwater China to play in meaningless tournaments, that they have literally no inspiration left for what he describes as the "shop-window" of the sport? Or the curse of having the most dull set of qualifiers, and hence first-round line-up, probably ever in the televised history of the tournament.... and which again is probably Bazza's fault for screwing around with the qualifying rounds. How is he supposed to break either of those curses, he's just one man! (BTW could someone move this to the Silly Sports thread?) Oh for suck sakes Zorders, the qualifiers could be better but I've seen worse - you always get a couple of shit players in the first round. Although losing Michael White, Dechawat Poomjaeng, Jimmy White and Ken Doherty in the qualifiers was a bit annoying. The idea that the players have no inspiration left to win this is bollocks, the fact these long-session matches are so rare is only going to increase their drive to stay in the tournament: these guys grew up on multi-session snooker. The curse he's actually trying to break, a I'm sure you a someone so versed in the logistical workings of snooker will be aware of, is the crucible curse that no first time defending champion has won. Couldn't agree more, if he had been in Round 1 it would have meant slightly less air-time for his horrendous droning commentary voice. Remember they got rid of Clive Everton to make room for that twat, "just cos he was a World Champ"? Couldn't they have just, like.... told him to go back to his paper-round? I put it on for 20 minutes this morning, him and Virgo sound like two concentration camp prisoners. This tournament is completely fucking stone fuck Jeff Buckley dead in the water, until Ronnie shows up (we have to wait til TUESDAY for that). And what if he doesn't entertain?