Brinsworth House Baiter

First things first... he certainly is not "worse than a serial killer", BHB. Your hysterical ranting is reminiscent of illiterate chavs, marching through the streets with placards demanding "Peedofiles Owt!" The British criminal justice system is thankfully, whilst far from perfect, run by people eminently more qualified than yourself to pass judgement on others. Secondly, in order to know he was "wanking" over the images he downloaded, you must have been spying on him. What's worse, a man wanking over some kiddy-porn or a man wanking as he watches another man wank over kiddy-porn? See, you don't like it when I assume your implicit masturbation, do you? Masturbating, was he? I don't think that came out in the court case... it's your half-cocked masturbatory assumption, possibly fuelled by BHB's delusionally-paranoid rant, that we don't understand. You're both more intelligent and rational than these posts make you appear, surely? Blimey, where do I start? Reminiscent of illiterate chavs, am I? An endorsement of the British criminal justice system from your good self? I don't think any sane minded individual with the slightest sense of value can argue that what Langham did was appalling. Even if we stick with what he was actually sent down for, downloading indecent images and forget about the other charge of grooming and having sex with an underage girl, it's a no-brainer that what he did was disgusting. It's a given. As I understand it he paid to see children being raped on his credit card, which in turn fuels and provides the sick bastards who produce this filth. Do not forget, Star Crossed, that whilst you, Dave & Youth In Asia, seem to be of the opinion that he was merely looking at pictures, those pictures were of some poor parent's traumatised children. You seem to take much issue with the assumed masturbatory angle, which I don't really understand. If he wasn't looking at them for sexual kicks, well, what other reason is there? In fact, I don't care if he did for therapy, curiousity or out of boredom- the fact that he did it was wrong, end of story. I'll treat your bizarre and, frankly, childish comment about me spying on him with the contempt it deserves. I have a theory concerning the apparent Langham appreciation society camped in this thread. I think it's because he's a middle classed media luvvie (or rather was). If this case involved, for the sake of arguement, a Premiership footballer then you'd all be tripping over yourselves to be in here slating them and making snide comments. Yet, because it was the 'creative genius' that is Langham, certain members seem to be in denial and actually appear to defending and making excuses for his actions. Well, I'm sorry, but as far as nonces go there are no class distinctions. He is what he is, he did what he did and, SC, I don't think it's a question of intelligence to be appalled by that. Call me delusionary-paranoid, ranting, irrational, a Daily Mail reader, whatever you like, but it doesn't change the fact that you're the one appearing to be publicly defending convicted nonces. I'll say it again, yes, he is worse than a serial killer. At least the victims of a serial killer are beyond pain, whereas the victims funded by Langham's credit card face a lifetime of harrowing pain. I take it that none of those defending Langham here are parents? If they are then my total disbelief has doubled. BHB

No, he's worse than a serial killer. 'All he did was download some pictures off the net.' WTF? The very nature of what he was downloading and wanking over makes him a beast of the highest nature. The whole scenario fills with me with a rage and the wish to vomit. Much like your blase post. You're not a judge by any chance, are you? It matters not about personal opinion concerning Langham's gifts as a writer or comedian- it doesn't change the fact that he's a nonce. Serial killers get more respect in jail than nonces. BHB

Somewhat fantastically, the mighty ASTON VILLA is an answer to both your questions, which must mean we're going do the double this season, or something equally fantastic... Cheers, BHB

From his cell? Perhaps he has a Hornby in there. I think it's diabolical the special privileges these celebrities get inside.... Cheers, BHB

It's a difficult one, in my opinion. Whichever side of the fence you sit on, if you come out and proclaim your views, you're gonna look like a C-word (and possibly be consumed by guilt) if the opposite scenario pans out. Personally, I hope the little 'un turns up as safe and sound as can possibly be, given the timescale. It's every parent's worse nightmare and if they're innocent, god only knows how much more they can take. Let's just hope that they don't end up getting fitted up for something they didn't do. And if they're guilty, well, it'll be one of those things of such an infamous nature that will be the stuff of lore for years to come. At the end of the day, I don't buy into this yellow ribbon stuff, but my thoughts are with all those concerned. BHB

Mmm...it might be more fun if it could add up properly 'n'all... It tallied my pathetic score as 4 out of twenty when it was actually a jaw dropping six. Got five out of ten on the sport quiz though... so I'm consistently crap... Cheers, BHB

If the tranny is rocking, don't come knocking! If there are any Securicor-depot-type cash heists over the next few days or weeks in the UK or northern France, I think we have a clear suspect. Do the right thing and call Crimestoppers on +44 (0)800 555 111. SC, I think you might be on to something there, having noticed that the Captain has cunningly either planted a bush to obscure his rear number plate or driven around for a while until discovering a conveniently placed shrub. Oh, and Cap'n, yep, my tranny was far better looking than yours. Although they both have the same rusty brown undercarriage... Cheers, BHB

Decently built spliff? I admire the sentiment, old chum, but at the mo it would rather appear that you are having trouble constructing a decent sentence. Perhaps one should postpone thinking about boffing the delectably tattooed skag head for an evening. Cheers, BHB

I once put all my worldly goods in the back of a tranny, but I went to Thailand to do so, not France... Happy hols, Cap'n! BHB

I'm not fond of using emoticons by way of reply, but I think your post deserves a And quite possibly a Cheers, BHB

I totally agree, although there are always going to be times when your kids are going to need a helping hand & support- especially when they're having to deal with other adults. It's difficult enough letting your kids go outside these days as it is, without situations arising from unexpected quarters. Cheers, BHB

There is something odd going on in 'chatland' SC last night and tonight I was in the chat and according to the main board there were 2 of me in there, one is far more than enough! Two Lady Grendels? Ah, the stuff of DL fantasy... That golden hair, doubled, as it drapes like two pairs of curtains over my big, throbbing... Ahem... Cheers, BHB

Welcome to Blair's Britain, Wins. Just this week my daughter was playing out the front & some old biddy neighgbour, who shall remain anonymous, grabbed my daughter's arm, told her to play elsewhere & made her cry. Needless to say, I went up there & had a word or two Hence the Old f*****g Bill in my house for three f*****g quarters of an hour taking a statement. It sucks. Thanks, Tony. Cheers, BHB

Hmmm....

But how will she be able to give you what you're hoping for good and hard if she's bound and gagged? Oh, Honez, bless. You either haven't been to Japan or you're spending way too much time on here.... Cheers, BHB

The bloke's got suicide written all over him. Not your conventional 'hang myself/slash my wrists/gas myself/' kinda suicide, but that kinda 'ooh, let's see if I can throw myself into total despair with another drink.' I know, 'cos I can identify with the Geordie tosser. Bet I die before him though...because he only drinks. f*****g half pint, Gazza, get some drugs in yer system! Be a man! Cheers, BHB

So...Winehouse...naked...with a syringe hanging out of her foot...still 'doable' or not? I'm voting yes, although of course I'd be wearing a condom. On my personal syringe. Cheers, BHB

That was funny, wasn't it? No doubt writing a cheque for Young, Laursen & Agbonlahor as he went. Oh, & yep, I'm delighfully optimistic, as you so Nancy Drewishly observed. I'm even hoping that the missus will take it up the Arsenal tonight. Sorry, Mods, but come on! Villa beat Chelsea! 2-0! Surely I won't get a warning for desiring and hoping for anal sex with my already bound and gagged (in Villa colours) wife? God, I'm so happy right now. Up the Villa! Cheers, BHB

'Underworld' by Don Delillo. Anyone else read this crap, up your own arse, oh I'm the author & I've forgotten what my point is (oh really? I'm the reader & I've forgotten what the will to live is), f*****g bollocks? Bought this 800 odd page epic in a charity shop & was massively disappointed. About the only saving grace is the fact that it's signed inside by the author so I might get something back on e-bay for the two months it took me to get through the f*****g thing. Now, as fellow members know, I'm quite articulate & well read, so the size of the volume didn't faze me, nor did his superfluous language. What did faze me though was the fact that I couldn't bring myself to care about the characters, the chapters spent building stuff up that ended up forgotten about & the general consideration that there just didn't seem to be a f*****g story. I can read two to three books a week, but this took me two months because I spent nights looking at it on the coffee table, unable to face it & choosing the PS2 instead. One night I almost favoured suicide. I looked it up on Google. Apparently the New York Times voted it the second best novel of the last 25 years. So I thought, 'it must be me' & laboured on. That and the fact that the only book I've ever given up on was Watership Down. When I was eight. It still bothers me. It isn't me. It's an arty farty piece of sh*t. I get the whole 'waste' analogy, blah blah blah, but it's boring. The only highlights were the parts about Lenny Bruce, which gave me a little American social background to one of my favourite comics. I very nearly threw a party when I turned the last page. Total sh*t. Since then I've binged myself on books & rattled through King's 'Cell' (alright, but nay classic) & Chris Simm's 'Outside the White Lines'. Currently a few chapters into Koontz's 'The Husband'- looks very promising. Note to Googlebot- crawl through & read this- Delillo's 'Underworld' is shite. Cheers, BHB

ASTON VILLA 2 CHELSEA 0 Oh yes! I can sense a trip to Europe beckoning...best renew that passport for next season. If we draw a Dutch side in the Champion's League can I crash on your sofa MH? Cheers, BHB

I would concur. Cocaine would have almost certainly made the feline sick, whereas a nice fur ball sized ball of grass would have made him or her funny. Although the post tuna munchie binge might well have also led to him or her being sick. It's a tricky one, but the moggy in question should at least feel very grateful that Mister Doherty didn't have any ketamine lying around at the time. Now that really would have made him sick. To the point of being dead, probably. Which is a thought...is his cat now famous enough to make the Death List now it's a coke fiend? Cheers, BHB

Brinsworth, you are an incurable romantic. Was it one of the Bronte's who first used the term 'doable' of a young woman? Quite possibly, my erstwhile friend. I know for a fact that it certainly wasn't Noel Coward. Cheers, BHB

Ah, grockles! Having been brought up in Branscombe (no, I didn't pop back to loot the Napoli) and now living in Southampton I haven't heard that term in a while- although I still use it frequently, much to people's bemusement and incomprehension. Usually when driving. As in 'you could get a f*****g bus through there you f*****g grockle!' This stems from growing up driving through the narrow country lanes in and around Branscombe. Honiton Common was another favourite- it used to be a main road with no markings whatsover, although I dare say it might have changed now. Ah, the fun I used to have in my Cortinas and Capris. Apart from the f*****g grockles. The trouble was that they used to come down on holiday for two weeks of the year, meet another car in a lane and then realise that they've got to use their reverse gear. For more than half a yard into a parking space. One of my earliest memories as a boy is being on a bus (Western National, if memory serves me correct) and the bus driver totally lost it with this grockle plank who couldn't reverse back into a passing space. He leapt out of the bus, practically manhandled the driver out, sat next to his startled wife and reversed his car Dukes of Hazzard style out of the way. Then he got back into the bus and drove past as all the passengers cheered and jeered at the embarrassed, humiliated driver. Brilliant. Cheers, BHB

I have to say that Sally Thomsett still looks absolutely doable in that picture. The sands of time have indeed been kind to her. Either that or the surgeon's knife has. The same however can not be said of our hero, who looks as though he was in the throes of another stroke- although, to give him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he's been so long out of the limelight that he's forgotten how to pose for the camera. Cheers, BHB I slightly disagree. i think that if you look at a picture of him as Dick Turpin in the late 70's, then the picture above is the logical progression of his having aged 30 years. I'm not saying that he is not ill; rather that he lokks good for someone so ill. Okay, we'll agree to disagree then and, should the situation ever arise, at the end of the night you can pair off with Dicky whilst I escort the absolutely still doable Sally to her hotel room. I feel this solution would lead to everyone becoming a winner. Cheers, BHB If you look at my last post in this thread you may notice that I didn't say anything about Sally not looking good. I am well aware of that. You didn't say anything about her not looking good at all, rather, you inferred that Dicky O' looked hot for an ill person. All I was suggesting was that since I go for 21 year olds from the Railway Children (thanks, Hacky) and you go for ill people who look good, Dicky O' would be more your bag should we ever end up in the improbable situation where we are both out on the lash and end up bumping into Dicky and Sally and they suggest we swing. You know, kinda like a Man About the Death List kinda thing... Cheers, BHB

I have to say that Sally Thomsett still looks absolutely doable in that picture. The sands of time have indeed been kind to her. Either that or the surgeon's knife has. The same however can not be said of our hero, who looks as though he was in the throes of another stroke- although, to give him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he's been so long out of the limelight that he's forgotten how to pose for the camera. Cheers, BHB I slightly disagree. i think that if you look at a picture of him as Dick Turpin in the late 70's, then the picture above is the logical progression of his having aged 30 years. I'm not saying that he is not ill; rather that he lokks good for someone so ill. Okay, we'll agree to disagree then and, should the situation ever arise, at the end of the night you can pair off with Dicky whilst I escort the absolutely still doable Sally to her hotel room. I feel this solution would lead to everyone becoming a winner. Cheers, BHB