Brinsworth House Baiter

And your earlier post regarding Carlisle's promotion from League 2 wasn't based in imagination? Anyway, to get back on topic for the sake of the may or may not be watching Mister Ray Donn & to answer someone's query earlier in this thread; Dicky O' is a big Chelsea fan... according to the IMDB. Although, a little like William Shatner, I don't think he gets down to the Bridge much these days.

What about me, you bugger? I hate to break this to you Roo bud, but I don't think Lou Rawls is gonna care much either way...

!!!!!!!! - BHB man, get a grip! Are you detained at Her Maj's pleasure? If not, get out, meet people, do summat! My god, I'm being given advice on my social life by someone who's idea of a fun Saturday afternoon out is watching Carlisle United....

All this talk of the Osmonsa reminded me of this from a couple of years ago. It wasn't this website that started the rumours by any chance was it? Osmond Grave Bothering

Incest?

Actually, no, because all the blokes I drink with in my fantasy social life are called Mister Whitehouse, funnily enough.

To tell you the truth... a complete fantasy. Having an eight and a half month pregnant wife has significantly interfered with my alcoholism and drug intake. So I presume you were out all the time about eight-and-a-half months ago then? A-ha, very good, yes... I like that...I tip my hat to you, sir!

To tell you the truth... a complete fantasy. Having an eight and a half month pregnant wife has significantly interfered with my alcoholism and drug intake.

Okay, it's an oldie, but I love it & I heard it again today for the first time in ages- A Mother Superior & a nun are driving along a quiet country lane one night when, out of the blue, a snarling vampire jumps on their bonnet. "Beep your horn, Sister, that will get rid of him," Mother Superior tells the nun. The nun beeps the horn, but the vampire stays on the bonnet. "Okay, turn on the windscreen wipers, that might work," Mother Superior says, but still the vampiric fiend holds firm. "Try swerving from side to side," Mother Superior suggests, fiddling nervously with her rosary beads. The nun jerks the car all over the road, but can't shake the vampire off. "Right, this is the last resort, Sister," says the Mother Superior, "show him your cross." "Okay," nods the nun, winding down the side window & poking her head out. "GET THE F**k OFF THE f*****g CAR, YOU MOTHERF***ING C**T!"

I thought this was the place to come for a fight? Any Munchkins or oompa loompah midgets in here who wanna go outside or am I too early?

How did you know his name? Anyhoo, I think greater than the former Pope is a bit much. who exactly is mr.whitehouse? Mr Whitehouse is a purveyor of bawdiness, coarseness, crudity, drunkenness, evil, foulness, grossness, immodesty, impropriety, impurity, incivility, indecorum, indelicacy, lewdness, licentiousness, obscenity, offense, outrageousness, pornography, ribaldry, smut, smuttiness, unseemliness, vileness, vulgarity with a magazine so named. Also the husband of Mrs Whitehouse, who knew nothing of the above. Mister Whitehouse sounds like most of the blokes I drink with down the boozer.

Hang on, did I read that right? He played with the Verve on Friday night? Kudos! Headlining Dublin Castle on the 29th? Metal in the vein of Alice in Chains meet Metallica eh? I take it the local paper will be running a Spot the Q as against Spot the Ball?

So, Mister Austrian Guest, does this city suck or what? I'm So Juvenile I'm Gonna Post It Again Because It's Brilliant & I'm Childish & I Don't Care! I once passed through the small Austrian village of Wank. As I recall, there were many tyre-marks on the road where car-loads of puerile British tourists over the years had suddenly braked, reversed and taken photos of the sign as, of course, did we. "I once passed through the small Austrian village of Wank." So many possibilities, so little time...

The Godettes? You have a backing band?

Thespian romp? Is it just me who finds that arousing? Thought so.

Well, it sounds a bit more exciting than being an Aston 'mediocre middle of the table again' Villa fan at the moment. Mmm, talking about work I'd better log off too... this novel will never finish itself, alas.

I like it in here! Can I take everyone on, right here & right now, while they've all got hangovers & I'm feeling fresh as a daisy? I wouldn't come in here at night though, cos I actually fight a bit like a daisy.

Or recovering from commiserating their non promotion from League Two, after a not so storming finale getting whipped by Stockport County.

How did you know his name? Anyhoo, I think greater than the former Pope is a bit much. Do I smell a rat? Do you mean to say that this wasn't real & we were never under threat from Ray Donn's Brinsworth Legal Mafia? It was all a wind up? Blast, I'd already bought a suit & polished my shoes in preparation for the court case. But the real upset here has to be that, if this were never genuine, then Hawaii Dicky O is not aware of this thread & I think that is a crying shame. So, here is my suggestion- his birthday is up & coming (7th of May) so why not give him a special present from DL? To celebrate his being back on top I was thinking perhaps of printing out this thread & presenting it to him-nicely bound in a big, This Is Your Life styley red book. Furthermore, I think that we should out his greatest fan from the closet & get Maryportfuncity (100 posts in this thread & counting!) to make the presentation-wearing a sequinned Dick Turpin cloak. Nice. And, I don't expect it'd cost very much to enlist Sally Thomsett & Paula Wilcox's services to attend the presentation either, so we could all have one hell of a party. Well, we could...I suspect the ex-cast of Man About The House might not be that lively.

So, Mister Austrian Guest, does this city suck or what? I'm So Juvenile I'm Gonna Post It Again Because It's Brilliant & I'm Childish & I Don't Care!

PMSL. Quality, Tempus Sir, quality!

Get him to issue a press release about something banal, but have him post the contents of said release on these forums the day before. That way, it won't attract thousands of people to this site (like if he released an article saying "Hey, I'm on DL"), but those of us on the forums will recognize what it means. Brilliant...this is getting like one of those thriller spy movies now. "We'll get him to post an ad in the personals of Variety Magazine, pose for a photograph holding that day's newspaper in front of him & get him to meet us under the town clock with a carnation in his catheter." Suggestions for the name of the film welcome, but Eminem can do the theme music... 'Will the Real Dicky O Please Stand Up...'

written by "King Dickie"...... you dont think its him do you ? ..... lets face it...he must have visited this thread.....just about every one else has I bet that Dickie O' has popped onto DeathList, He can't exactly be busy, it must help him pass the time, surfing the web for references to himself. Now if only he could be persuaded to register, DeathList would have its first known celebrity member. That would be great wouldn't it? Only, how would we know that it was genuinely the great man himself though? After all, any Tom, Dick or...hang on... any Tom, Dominic or Harry could register & profess to be Mister O' Sullivan. What we would need is some stringent identity test in order to prevent any fraudulent claims- otherwise any old Wearside Jack could turn up. We'd need a list of questions- the answers to which only Dickie would know- such as: 1. What is Sally Thomsett's phone number? 2. Did Paula Wilcox have any freckles in any peculiar places? 3. Does Brian Murphy ever pop in for a cup of tea? 4. How good are Brinsworth House's legal team? 5. What was the name of that bloody budgie in Man About the House? The next problem would be how to check the authenticity of any given answers, but I can't be expected to think of everything.

I like Austria... anywhere that has places with names like this is ok in my book... Austrian Hospitality

I know this is pathetic but I used to think George and Lynn was quite racy. There wasn't much in the way of, ahem, stimulation when I was a kid, apart from Parade magazine at the barbers where the pudendum was air brushed out. It came as a shock when I discovered the truth. But on the plus side, you found somewhere to park your bicycle.