Brinsworth House Baiter

Oh, and belated birthday greetings to you, Windsor & Phantom btw. Cheers, BHB

Intensive research project? Come on then, pray tell- what colour smalls are Tessa Wyatt wearing these days & is her washing line the regulation height from the lawn as stipulated by her local borough council? Cheers, BHB

With all those ageing, camp acting luvvies in residence I wouldn't fancy turning my back in there either... Cheers, BHB

Hacky, Having read your post & various bits in the press about the prevalence of steroid/ drug taking in the sport, do you think there will be any long term damage to American wrestling's popularity in the long run due to the resulting publicity? The fact that he was such a role model & hero to young boys & then killed his own son must surely deliver an almighty blow to wrestling's image & public perception, but do you think it will be enough to actually cause any lasting harm? This whole saga really does hold a horribly grim & morbid fascination even to a non-wrestling fan such as me. I'm trying to equate it with a Premiership footballer doing the same thing, but it's all just too ghastly to think about it for too long. I can't believe I just used the word 'ghastly.' That's ghastly in itself. Cheers, BHB

He didn't though, did he? I didn't see the programme, but if he did then it certainly deserves placing on YouTube. Cheers, BHB

I've always wondered what he spent that crisp, virgin note on. My money's on some nice leather elbow patches for that fetching cardigan he was wearing. Or amphetamines. Cheers, BHB

From said article: "Frank Carson, 80, Roy Walker, 66, and Jim Bowen, 69, said farewell to Bernard — shunned by the showbiz establishment for his gags about race. They were joined by comics Roy Chubby Brown, 62, and Cannon and Ball." What a f*****g line up. The sort of stand-up comedy night I'd expect in Hell. Though I expect such a billing might constitute a cracking night out up in Maryport. Cheers, BHB

He also had a spell at Villa, where he famously played with a skinhead haircut (daring for the time), if I remember my old man's reminiscing correctly. Off the top of my head I know he also played for Pompey & I think Leicester City were also among his career stop overs, but that would need checking. But yeah, you're right, he was most famously connected with the Muppet Show over at Molineux. Cheers, BHB

Damn! Possibly the finest post of my DL career and I forgot to sign in. Life sucks...

Yep, farewell to an old Villa boy. RIP BHB

Hoping that 'gadgy' is a term of endearment, I Googled the term & the first result was about the Oyster man of Whitby. An interesting tale. Does this Cumbrian term have anything to do with this ghost story? Entymology? f*****g love it me. Cheers, BHB

But - f**k me - we're world champions where irony is concerned. Was just joshin' re yer name by the way. You could - though - still try and blag yer way into BH for the grand unveiling of the Alan 'Fluff' Freeman plaque next week. World champions at ironing? Fair play. I should have realised you were only joshin', but it's that pesky dialect that gets me every time. Cheers, BHB

Ooh, we're bringing names into it now, are we? You've got me, seeing as I've never been anywhere near the building in question, but then I have heard that Maryport is not exactly the western mecca of fun. Cheers, BHB

I'll put a virtual fiver on history. And mebbe 50 pence on geography as an outside bet. The 50 pence is virtual as well, by the way. This is in no way an actual bet in which I have to pay anyone any money whatsoever. Just covering myself legally, before I get PM's demanding money from mods who've declared themselves as official Death List bookies. Cheers, BHB

Huh? I totally agree with you about the etiquette part though. Bravo. You should be proud of and think of me as a comrade in arms for highlighting these examples of poor grammatical etiquette. You and I, armed with dictionaries and spellchecking software, can wage a war on these etiquette-less f***kers lowering standards around here with their non-capital commencing sentences and misuse of 'your' and 'you're' and 'there' and 'their'. I am at one with, and ready to take up arms for, your hypocritical motivation. Cheers, BHB

And, talking of the misuse of capital letters.... Cheers, BHB

Nope, there are others. Like the difference between 'there' and 'their'? I'm not actively seeking these, you understand, merely noticing them as I browse threads. I'm reminded of a proverb concerning people living in glass houses... Cheers, BHB

I totally agree. Very disappointing and not setting a good example at all. A little like another eminent poster around these parts who seems unable to differentiate between 'your' and 'you're.' There's been a spate of it lately, although I can't, for the life of me, recall who it was... Cheers, BHB

Linda Lovelace & Ron Jeremy? Dunno what Oscar will make of those two, & I see you've included the fantabulous Camille. Clinton will like her... I've just thought- if this dinner party has a swinging, apres dinner sex theme, someone's going to be might gutted when they fish old Weston's keys out of the hat. Cheers, BHB

Erm, no, it's not really... What I was trying to say, probably not very well, is that the likes of Williams & Howerd et al were significant in camp homosexuals eventually becoming acceptable mainstream with regards to televison etc. I think I'm right in saying that back when they were first treading the boards, so to speak, homosexuality was illegal, so they certainly played their part- along with other factors, obviously. But then, Anubis, you should know by now that nothing I say is even worth quoting, let alone dissecting and analysing. Cheers, BHB

On the wall opposite me right now hangs a photoshopped picture I did of the Last Supper with the dinner guests the wife & I would choose. A lot of them are dead, but we were somewhat stoned when we came up with the idea & choices, so we transcended mortal realms: Oliver Reed- Someone for me to get wrecked with. Queen Victoria- the missus loves everything Victorian, indeed she's something of an unrecognised authority. George Best- (See top). Stephen King- What a mind & imagination to pick over the brandies. Johnny Lydon- I've always thought he's an interesting guy under the brash exterior. In the middle, in Jesus' place, Tony Hancock- He represents the greatest comedy writers ever, Galton & Simpson, but I put Hancock in as two people would have f**ked up the seating arrangements in my picture. Quentin Tarantino- Another twisted imagination to dissect over dessert. Kurt Cobain (with guitar)- after dinner singalong. Stephen Fry- For humour over the cheese board. Johnny Cash- f**k knows why, he was the missus' choice. Stan Laurel- A comedy writing genius. There is so much I'd ask the bloke he'd probably get pissed off with me. Groucho Marx- Same again. Cheers, BHB

Cowboy Ronnie wrote: Never seen either? I'll let you off the Doctor series, but never seen a Carry On film? Never seen a Carry On film? How did you manage that? Was it a conscious choice or was your father perhaps a failed sixties/seventies comedian who auditioned, failed & subsequently vowed never to allow his offspring to watch a Peter Rogers production? I may well be biased, being the proud owner of all the series on DVD (as well as numerous items of memorabilia), but I find it an incredible feat indeed for anyone to have avoided the Carry On films throughout their life. I feel you should be brought over to the dark side, CR, & kidnapped from the supermarket car park by a black van with tinted windows & whisked away to a secure location where you will be repeatedly subjected to glimpses of Barbara Windsor's saggy breasts, Kenneth Williams paving the way for Dale Winton & Graham Norton & Sid James ogling fit young tarts with big knockers in a manner which would see him on a list these days. Never seen a Carry On film? As Frankie Howerd once said, 'never has my flabber been so ghasted!' The Carry On films were/indeed are a rite of passage to generation after generation of pre-pubescents and hormonally challenged teenagers, as well as being f*****g funny to adults to boot. I fear that your bypass of the genre might have led to your development being hampered in such a way that I suspect you might in fact be Tony Blair. Or Clare Short, posing online as a man. Never seen a Carry On film? f**k me, man, sort it out. That's like stating you've never masturbated. Or something. Anyway, after all that, you'll no doubt be pleased to learn that I have nothing to offer in the way of actors and double trilogies, or whatever it is. Although...I was thinking, but I read we can't Google, what about Charlie Chaplin? There's his tramp character, but surely he was another character in another trilogy of films? I don't know, but I've seen all the Carry On films. You've never seen a Carry On film? What, really? Cheers (not to mention a tad disillusioned with certain moderators...) BHB

Great song! It's called 'No One Is Innocent.' Although, in retrospect, it does also include a slightly sickening line about Ian Brady being a lady's man or something. Although maybe I've been mishearing it all these years & they're in fact singing about the ex-Arsenal legend, Liam Brady. No matter & f**k the analysis, I'm not old enough for that yet! It's a banging* tune. Cheers, BHB * I think this is the 'yoof' of today's equivalent of my generation's 'fab' or 'groovy.'

trans-Atlantic electronic bickering between the fictional personae of two people who will likely never meet each other. Aw, who am I kidding? I enjoy it the same way we all (used to) enjoy a good fiery F1 crash. It puts me in mind of those post-closing time drunks on opposite sides of the street who just happen to be staggering home in the same general direction & just can't help themselves from yelling insults & threatening this & that at each other. Nothing ever happens though, because both are too pissed to cross the road & one of them almost always falls over & soils himself. Brilliant stuff. Long may it & our resulting rubbernecking continue. Cheers, BHB

CP: I only ever saw this once, when I was a mere slip of a lad, so I probably couldn't give it a fair review, but I do remember it as being long & boring. Put it this way, whenever it's been repeated on telly since I have never found myself thinking 'ooh, I must watch that again', in the way I do whenever I spot Westworld or Planet of the Apes in the listings. It's probably me. I'm an uncultured, uncouth philistine whose idea of art is Carry on Camping. I love most of Sam Peckinpah's movies though, especially Straw Dogs. Now, that is a movie. Oh, & I'm pleased to be in the 'We think A Clockwork Orange is Shite Society' with such good company. We could get tee-shirts & baseball caps made. And maybe badges. Or mebbe not. Cheers, BHB