Geronimo

Sightseers looks promising.

The art of art appreciation.

Alex Honnold. A matter of when, not if.

All these years after the end of her reign she still seems to stir up emotions in this forum. The Government may find itself under pressure to provide photographic proof of her demise, followed by a swift burial at sea over the wreck of the Belgrano to prevent any possibility that her grave becomes a rallying point for Tory suicide squads left behind as sleepers on Mothers' Union committees throughout the Home Counties. I suppose the circulation of a photograph would be considered too gruesome for public consumption. But, without it, conspiracy theorists may be tempted to believe she could be still alive, living on a banana plantation in Paraguay. And even when she's gone her old personal bodyguard, Von Tebbit, will remain to carry the torch at future Nuremberg Rallies Conservative Party Conferences. Meanwhile former activists and supporters will continue to meet in the bier kellers of Basingstoke and Tunbridge Wells, reminiscing over the old times and singing the at the Parish Council. Yes, those were the days, when the reds were rolled back over the steppes of South Yorkshire and Thatcher's forces could almost reach out and touch Barnsley town hall. But they couldn't get Scargill and the old bastard lives on with his memories, his banners and his heavily decorated cap even as NUM veterans coo over the royal wedding in their former council houses acquired under the right-to-buy legislation. Oh, and by the way, they didn't get me. Osama

If there's big queue I just go watch something else.

Steve Jobs - not on this year's list but if he makes it to next year how about "iDead"?

This race to be the first to jump from altitude and land without a parachute throws up a few possibilities. Jeb Corliss seems most promising. He's training hard but needs $2m to build a "runway" for his landing.

He's asking himself the same question? Oh yes, well not whitewheat. Public or private?

Jimmy Dean's Lyrics to Big John: (Big John, Big John) Ev'ry mornin' at the mine you could see him arrive He stood six foot six and weighed two forty five Kinda broad at the shoulder and narrow at the hip And everybody knew ya didn't give no lip to Big John. (Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John) Nobody seemed to know where John called home He just drifted into town and stayed all alone He didn't say much, kinda quiet and shy And if you spoke at all, you just said "Hi" to Big John. Somebody said he came from New Orleans Where he got in a fight over a Cajun Queen And a crashin' blow from a huge right hand Sent a Loosiana fellow to the Promised Land-Big John (Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John) Then came the day at the bottom of the mine When a timber cracked and men started cryin' Miners were prayin' and hearts beat fast And everybody thought that they'd breathed their last-'cept John Through the dust and the smoke of this man-made hell Walked a giant of a man that the miners knew well Grabbed a saggin' timber, gave out with a groan And like a giant oak tree he just stood there alone-Big John (Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John) And with all of his strength he gave a mighty shove Then a miner yelled out "There's a light up above!" And twenty men scrambled from a would-be grave Now there's only one left down there to save-Big John With jacks and timbers they started back down Then came that rumble way down in the ground And then smoke and gas belched out of that mine Everybody knew it was the end of the line for Big John (Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John) Now they never reopened that worthless pit They just placed a marble stand in front of it These few words are written on that stand At the bottem of this mine lies one hell of a man big john (Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John) (Big John, Big John) Big Bad John (Big John)

Al Qaeda running low on leaders called al-Masri.

Corned Beef. You can't make Spam hash. Bath or shower?

Two fat ladies. Dr Who or Star Trek?

Watch with mother.

Nice to know someone cares about dogs.

102 uses for a dead cat.