Anubis the Jackal

Did the Pole come over for the harvest then?

Brinny, you have my deepest condolences as well as my admiration for your fine choice in dogs.

Really... we should have a game online sometime then. Anyone else in?

Err...careful with that kind of talk round these parts...

Not particularly lucky then. Unless the alternative was death by Um-Bum-Bum.

"> You don't happen to be teaching English in Thailand at the mo do you ATJ? If so, now's the time to hide. Better? ATJ.....

Sha-a-al-l-llll we-e-e-e... Die. (pa-pom-pom-pomm)

Joker for '08 Harsh, but of course fair!

Shall I prepare the boats for a boarding party, Cap'n?

Now of course it all depends whether you're talking about the original 'Compost Heap Scrolls' discovered in early July this year in a small potting shed just outside Clackheaton, or the revised edition (King Alan Titchmarsh Version) which many claim was significantly re-written by a self-serving group of agriculturalists many of whom have links to the shady 'Gardeners Quesion Time' sect. ... unlike "Peter Seabrooke's Complete Vegetable Gardener" published by Cassell, which contains no contradictions whatsoever. I believe my current Assassin status renders this post de facto on-topic. So why on page 68 does Seabrooke tell us to eradicate nettles from our vegetable patch while on page 251 he gives us a recipe for Nettle beer? Why does he suggest spraying insecticide on our cucumbers, then tell us how to create an insect-friendly environment from bamboo sticks? Why are their so many references to "spilling seed" from a recognised plantsman? And why does he say that Halibuts make better compost than born-again Christians who grow better, incidentally, when placed alongside a west-facing trellis as long as they are regularly fed and watered. Answer me that if you can SC.

Maybe she's just being lazy?

Err, for picking the names of well-known people who will shuffle off this mortal coil this year. Rules is rules, and you can't still be banging on about this now, It's October for crying out loud.

Gunjy and our other antipodean chums, given your countries natural, and quite understandable antipathy towards England, will you really be able to go as far as to support the vile South Africans against us on Saturday?

If you're worried about Habana England could replace the injured Josh Lewsey with U-S-A U-S-A's Takudzwa Ngwenya who absolutely flew past Habana in their game. Yeah, so there may be some problem with nationality issues, but if that fails get a real life cheetah in.

I didn't say that fundamentalist Islamic terrorists were stupid, I said that all fundamentalists are stupid, be they Christian, Jewish, Halibut, Hindu or whatever. To believe in every last word of any holy book is wrong and indeed usually impossible due to the many contradictions such a book contains.

Err, you are joking, right. Any religious fundamentalist is, by definition, pretty damned stupid.

Nearly, but not quite.

My sister and I used to see large spiders scuttling round our room, mostly when we were suffering from a cold. Strangely these sightings stopped when a certain child's cold remedy was taken off the market for causing quite severe hallucinations. I'm still getting flashbacks now, although that may be more related to consensual hallucinogenic consumption in later life

How do you solve that problem? I chose the wrong von Trapp child, I put Maria on my list

Isn't that The Magic Numbers?

I don't know, are you?

Watch out for clouds of 'poisonous' chilli gas though

The Good Doctor Hackenslash I think.

Richard 'The C-word' Branson Hopefully.