Anubis the Jackal

Mr. Joscos, Shame on your mom. Did she leave you by the road side and forgot to teach you some manners? Poor thing Are you the same Captain that brought the ukeleles?

I don't read a newspaper. They all annoy me.

Apart from champagne-socialists who think they are clever, because they believe writing hateful L.C.D. pap for the tabs is the pinnacle of their art

Do you mean this one

Tee hee hee. John Waine...closet Tee hee hee.

I refer the honourable gentleman to the question I posed earlier. In my opinion, Keef has never seen Deathlist, has never been on The Deathlist and has never expressed an opinion on Deathlist, either one way or the other. This story is naught but a tissue of fabrication from beginning to end and, as such, is indicative of the level of intellectual rigour that Sun journalists aspire to. My Lord, the prosecution rests.

Is Dame Kelly a dyke too? I hear rumours that she's no stranger to licking the 9 volt battery.

Hate to put a damper on this, but you really call an item in the Currant Bun scientific proof that Oor Keef checks out Deathlist? I think not.

Are you sure, I thought it was from the same root of Hashish....

Only if you tickle them in the middle to see which end is their head.

Ibrahim Rugova President of Kosovo.

Enough with the wrestling!!!!

Only following orders eh?

It may be supposed to make sense, but I'm buggered if I can work it out. Put down that drink and move slowly away from the keyboard, all of you.

So, Mister Austrian Guest, does this city suck or what? I'm So Juvenile I'm Gonna Post It Again Because It's Brilliant & I'm Childish & I Don't Care! I once passed through the small Austrian village of Wank. As I recall, there were many tyre-marks on the road where car-loads of puerile British tourists over the years had suddenly braked, reversed and taken photos of the sign as, of course, did we.

A somewhat delayed reatcion there, Starcrossed!

Gibson have made the first 'Les Paul Piano' It is truly foul... Nice pic of the old boy though.

Bugger! My call as well. Poor show, me.

Cue Vera Lynn....... Tip of the hat, Mr G. Tip of the hat.

Attempts at humor are not funny when they are at the expense of someone who has been suffering as much as George Bush obviously has been. There's a clear line between irreverent and disrespectful. George never harmed anyone, he has contributed a great deal to mankind, and he is obviously suffering. He doesn't deserve to be on the receiving end of your sick, immature, adolescent, sophomoric humor. He DOES deserve a great deal of respect and compassion. May I suggest a more deserving target of your snide, rude commentary? Clive Dunn!

Hmm, A dialysis machine that has a bottle of Johnny Walker attached. I knew I shouldn't have tried to look after George Best following his liver transplant.

Sir, I salute your courage, indefatigability and taste.

I was trying to work in a pun about 'Knock on Wood' until I remembered it wasn't the 'Wicked Pickett' but Eddie Floyd. Bugger. I'm going to play his storming cover of 'Born to be Wild' tonight on my new baby...

I refuse to answer the above question on the grounds that it may incriminate me.