Anubis the Jackal

Please bear in mind that all rants will be assessed by Mr. Magere Heins magnificent 'Deathlist Rant Index' RFC 616 - The DeathList Rant Index DeathList Technical Working Group Request for Comments: 616 Version: 1.03 Date: 24 October 2005 A Standard for the rating of rants, posted on DeathList Forum Status of this Memo This memo describes a method for the rating of rants on DeathList Forum and its subfora. Readers' comments are invited, either by posting them, or by PM'ing the author. Distribution of this memo is unlimited. Overview Rants, defined here as posts written with the purpose of venting anger, are regularly posted on DeathList Forum and its subfora. The quality of those rants varies greatly. The DeathList Rant Index (DLRI) is proposed as a tool for rating a rant. General principles To be a rant, a post must communicate anger about posts published on DeathList Forum or Deathlist as a whole. A post containing just random characters cannot be a rant. On the other hand, a well-reasoned criticism, written in immaculate English, can be, even if it is not recognised immediately. Normally, a rant will be written in anger, a mood in which the writer easily makes mistakes. These mistakes come in the following categories: Content Language and formatting Stupidity Scoring Scoring starts at 0. For each of the listed elements a post is awarded one point if it is present in the post. All points are added and the total divided by the number of elements listed and multiplied by 100 and finally rounded to the nearest whole number. When an element is present more than once, this will not result in more points. All possible DLRI values lie between 0 and 100. To count as a rant an index value of at least 10 is needed. For scoring purposes the name of the ranter, the topic and the topic description are considered part of the post. Signatures are not considered part of the post. Scoring elements Here follows a list of DLRI scoring elements. Content The post states that the members of DeathList.net are sick. This includes any presumed diagnosis of physical or mental disease. The post states that a relative or friend of the writer died recently. The post states that a living relative or friend of the writer suffers from cancer or some other terminal disease. If the post is written in a topic about a person, living or dead, the post states or infers that the subject is above criticism. The post states or infers that the poster is morally or intellectually superior to the members of DeathList.net. The post contains one or more obscenities. The post states or infers a wish of a painful or imminent death on the members of DeathList.net. The post states or infers a wish that the members of DeathList.net go to hell. Language and formatting Bad grammar, spelling, interpuction or formatting do not automatically form a DLRI scoring element. Posts in languages other than English cannot be scored for these elements. The post contains five or more misspelt words. Obvious typos do not count as spelling mistakes, nor do accepted spelling variants. The post contains two or more grammatical errors. The post contains one or more instances of misuse of "there / their / they're / there're". The post contains one or more instances of misuse of "your / you're". The post contains one or more instances of "alot" instead of "a lot". The post contains one or more instances of the pronoun "I" in lower case. The post contains five or more instances of bad interpunction and capitalisation. The post contains three or more instances of a multisyllabic word written in ALL CAPS. The post is written in one case only (lower case or capital). The post contains one or more instances of consecutive question marks (??) or exclamation marks (!!). The post contains l33t5PE@K or AOLese. The posts speaks about the poster in the third person Stupidity While all rants are stupid, not all stupid posts are rants. The post contains one or more direct contradictions. The post contains one or more statements that are widely agreed on to be false. The post tries to rebut a statement that was not made in a previous post in the topic. The post contains one or more email addresses. The post contains one or more threats of physical violence. As an example, let's take a recent post: QUOTE you people are sick!! Miep Gies is a brave women who risked her life to protect the Frank family!! even thinking about her dying is probably the sickest thing i have ever heard! imagine if someone was wondering if you were going to die!!! i bet you wouldn't like it! i recently had a death in my family and it wasn't the best thing in the world. we all knew he was going to die but did we ever talk about it or even cry infront of him?! NO!! I by accident came across this site and i am digusted! i had a family member who lived to 100 so saying someone isold so they will die soon is totally wrong! Miep Gies seems like she was put on this earth for a reason, to save Anne Frank's diary. just because she did her duty doesn't mean a f*****g thing! Go To Hell All Of You! >:0 [1] The post states that the members of DeathList.net are sick. [1] The post states that a relative or friend of the writer died recently. [0] The post states that a living relative or friend of the writer suffers from cancer or some other terminal disease. [1] If the post is written in a topic about a person, living or dead, the post states or infers that the subject is above criticism. [0] The post states or infers that the poster is morally or intellectually superior to the members of DeathList.net. [1] The post contains one or more obscenities. [0] The post states or infers a wish of a painful or imminent death on the members of DeathList.net. [1] The post states or infers a wish that the members of DeathList.net to go to hell. [1] The post contains five or more misspelt words. Obvious typos do not count as spelling mistakes, nor do accepted spelling variants. [0] The post contains two or more grammatical errors. [0] The post contains one or more instances of misuse of "there / their / they're / there're". [0] The post contains one or more instances of misuse of "your/ you're". [0] The post contains one or more instances of "alot" instead of "a lot". [1] The post contains one or more instances of the pronoun "I" in lower case. [1] The post contains five or more instances of bad interpunction and capitalisation. [0] The post contains three or more instances of a multisyllabic word written in ALL CAPS. [0] The post is written in one case only (lower case or capital). [1] The post contains one or more instances of consecutive question marks (??) or exclamation marks (!!). [0] The post contains l33t5PE@K or AOLese. [0] The posts speaks about the poster in the third person [1] The post contains one or more direct contradictions. [1] The post contains one or more statements that are widely agreed on to be false. [0] The post tries to rebut a statement that was not made in a previous post in the topic. [0] The post contains one or more email addresses. [0] The post contains one or more threats of physical violence. Warnings are considered threats. The DLRI of this post is (11/25)*100 = 44. regards, Hein

By Christ! avoid The Forum at www.williamshatner.com Here be Monsters!

Don't forget the much-coveted Golden Skull nomination for the longest thread on Deathlist.net

Wake Crashers.

Have your fingers in many pies... (or chilli bowls.) Doesn't say where the couple sourced the offending digit though. Alastair Cooke or Dave Allen spring to mind.

Is she? She was in my bed only the other night. Better lay off the booze for a bit I think.

OK, first hand report from our man about town. Mr Shambles lived up to his reputation as a fairly piss-poor entertainer, but first-class junkie. Last seen driving off in a Jag with the needles out.

BS I have read and re-read your post several times, but I am not sure what you are trying to say. Perhaps, to paraphrase Winston S Churchill, Banshees' posts are a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. More like a Flake, wrapped in a Curly-wurly inside a Fruit and Nut

Apparently so, with special permission..

How exaclty did you work that out? What Dickie O performance ranks with Brando's in the Godfather, On The Waterfront, or Reflections in A Golden Eye? Fool. Have you not seen his Imdb entry? Can You Keep It Up for a Week? (1974) .... Mr. Rose Surely the very essence of Stanislavskian 'deep method' acting, a performance which ranks with Oliviers' Hamlet in the annals of thespian greatness, do you not agree?

raider+Jan 17 2006, 12:15 PM--> QUOTE(Tom( raider @ Jan 17 2006, 12:15 PM) I'd need a tipple before getting into a bed with the late Queen Mother. Well, she doesn't look too bad for a 101-years-old who has been dead for four years. You shouldn't be too picky, mr. Jackal! You're right. I'm being too picky. A man with standards is a man with limited options.

Yup, Trevor McDonald and Charlie Williams. Oh, don't forget Derek Griffiths

I'd need a tipple before getting into a bed with the late Queen Mother.

I didn't know he had a massive organ. If he did it would be a BombTempi.

The Funniest Blonde Joke ever.

As far as I remember, a tree fell on his head during the 'Great Storm' of 1987.

Was this really 'edited by Josco?' Standards are slipping .

They are not executed, as if our moral and legal values say that it is wrong to kill, then this should apply to the state as well as to the individual. End of story.

In my opinion, yes, but as to his being the Messiah, no.

I believe it is a prerequisite for citizenship.

Silence of the Heart is an amazing book. Reading it transforms even the brightest summers day into a drizzly Sunday evening in February. With Harry Secombe presenting 'Highway' on a loop. Forever.

Jesus is also dead. Don't know if you already knew that.

Up until two weeks ago, I'd have partly agreed with you.

The One Ronnie

Insert pun here.......................