Anubis the Jackal

Some time around the release of their debut single in my book.

Come Onnnnnn!

Huh? Lay off the coffee BS, you're gibbering man!

I read on some website that his hand was slowing down...

My mum used to collect terrible poems from the local paper's obituaries page. Some of them made the oeuvre of Ron Price seem almost readable.

Last I heard, she was still alive Will you let us know if you hear anything else please?

Ah but you got in with the gag Iain. A moral victory I feel. (A belated 'welcome aboard' to you.) (edit: Blimey, I didn't notice who posted the original message. Welcome back TF!)

Who can tell? Here's how it might have been if the Germans had won the first world war. And here's an interesting variant on WW2. This is also not bad. Continue on to read the following topics; it takes about six pages until someone brings up the World Cup final of 1966. Bloody hell, your right. BTW The ball didn't cross the line. Last time this sort of thing came up, someone pointed out the excellent What if Gordon Banks had played. I lost a couple of hours on that site...

Ooh, post it on here if you succeed. Say hello to your mum from us!

Page 2 "MY DOGBITE HELL!"Man tells all only to The Sun!, whilst the remainder of the news pages contained an expose on ursine defecatory habits and a rare insight into the spiritual beliefs of Benedict XVI.

Yes.

Mindless ranter going at me in yiddish, I answer back, him again, I give up, end of story.

Ah...Resting.

I'll just check his diary...bear with me

What woman? That was no woman, that was my wife. Geh cocken offen yom, kucker. Gay k'ken in yam Hey Inar, this is fun...why don't you join in! Kuck ind faall Please will someone explain this to me. Just your everyday story of me cracking a prehistoric music hall gag and getting naught but an earful of abuse in yiddish as a reward. You know what it's like M32?

Where is Poetry Man when you really need him? My ears are weeping pus.

Maybe so Ronnie, the Kiwis (All Blacks more correctly, the Kiwis are the Rugby League team) have never lost to England at the World Cup and have a just under 75% winning record against them. So you're better at cricket because their women are ugly? That explains it, this woman has got to be voted out this weekend, then we'll win the Ashes too. Who says politics is showbusiness for ugly people...? I give you, Angela Merkel

From www.johninman.co.uk However, the calender is suspiciously empty...

So you've been keeping that little gem hidden for 7 years? Shame.

Sir, you may very well be the public and trolls may very well rule but may I refer you to THIS Trust me, we don't have the time or energy to 'harass' you for spamming, we'll merely delete your post if it isn't interesting, informative or entertaining. That's not censorship, no infringement on your rights to free speech, merely you being told you're not interesting or humorous by some of the finest minds of this generation.

What woman? That was no woman, that was my wife. Geh cocken offen yom, kucker. Gay k'ken in yam Hey Inar, this is fun...why don't you join in!

Spike Milligans 'choice' of funeral music was a belter

He's been in and out of bad health for years, every time he has a new album to promote in fact. He will live long enough to see the great "Blues Based 80's Rock Revival" no question about it. So his illness will be REAcurring then.

What woman? That was no woman, that was my wife.

That's quite correct Sir.