Anubis the Jackal

Search and ye shall find.

My Russian is far worse and I ended up with a Russian Brie.

Why do they always resort to wishing cancer upon us? We, on the other hand, are much nicer. We only wish a mild cold on them. regards, Hein Speak for yourself, I pray for castration. Me, I wish Alzheimers on them. Can't remember why though.

No No! You carry on. We want more badger anecdotes... Actually, I've got one. A friend was driving late at night and hit a badger. On getting out of his car, he saw that the badger was near death and that nothing could be done to help it. Feeling sorry for the creature, he took the wheel-brace from the boot of his car and put the poor fellow out of its' misery. Naturally, he was fairly cut up about this turn of events, Several months later, he and his wife were driving home from a fancy-dress party dressed as Mickey and Minnie Mouse. Unfortunately, he once again struck a badger, causing him to veer across the road wildly. Shocked and saddened, he went once again into his boot for the wheel-brace to finish off the animal, and it was while he was advancing on a twitching badger, dressed as Mickey Mouse, carrying a wheel-brace that the police squad car came round the corner. Sad but true.

Mr / Ms. Guesty, only one piece of news can truly finish this thread.

Actually, I really really like you. You're devastatingly funny, and with such a mature attitude towards your fellow man, I feel this could be the start of something special. ATJ

Yeah, yeah... been done before on deathlist. I think you may be missing the point by a country mile.

Ah those crazy Jains. I remember a bunch of the used to feed the pigeons round my way with huge bags of bread, which of course then led to them feeding the rats round my way with huge bags of bread. Weren't they somewhat scuppered in their 'let all animals live' by the discovery of bacteria / germs?

F**k me, good point, I'm off.

I'd go to Mrs. T's funeral as well, carrying a large klaxon horn and dancing the hokey-cokey with a few thousand others. re: Mo.mo 1. She helped to stop the IRA blowing innocent people to pieces, only to have Mandelson swan in and grab the credit. 2. So have senior security figures on numerous occasions. 3. Your Problem being? 4. Are you suggesting she not marry someone on a point of principle? Not being a huge fan of the recent Labour governments, Mowlam was one of the few bright lights in the cabinet.

So was Red Rum. For most of his life. Ba-dum-tish!

Maybe it's Maybelline?

Personally, I find it cheering and life-enhancing.

True, they have toilets, but 'solid waste' is compacted and stored...sometimes for years on end whilst 'liquids' are recycled as drinking water. They can't just jettison the old 1's and 2's out into orbit for fear of disabling some sputnik or other with a 25,000 mph 'dog-egg'

OK then, i'll show him respect and drop the 'alleged.' Perv.

Bugger. Looking ''...bright-eyed and looking relatively slender inside his Boca tracksuit''

Try reading this thread from first post to last (obviously excluding your last post and this one.) You'll see why we were thinking of signalling 'The Last Post' for Zip Up Fatty as he shall be henceforth known. In my head.

So, that'll be a hearty 'Get Well Soon' from all at Deathlist, and if you could let us know well in advance if you plan to do it again, that would be most kind.

Ah, that'll explain it. Thanks once again to the ever-resourceful Mr. B.

Ah finally, someone has applied pure logic, backed up with extensive scientific research to the argument. We have thus reached our conclusion. Or not...

Hmm. So this presumes that a personal recorder would have survived the total burn-up and impact of the spacecraft. My walkman broke after I dropped it 4 foot onto some lino, therefore I'm not having that.

I must say that line is brilliant. komunismo estas simila ESPERANTO

michael brecker saxophonist. Michael Brecker, has been diagnosed with MDS (myelodysplastic syndrome), and its critical that he undergoes a stem cell transplant. The initial search for a donor (including Michael's siblings and children) has not yet resulted in a suitable match

Noel Edmonds Robert Excell

INT. BATEMAN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT The living room floor has been meticulously covered with newspaper. Owen is slumped drunkenly in a white Eames chair, a glass in his hand. Bateman is looking through his CDs. BATEMAN You like Huey Lewis and the News? OWEN They're okay. BATEMAN Their early work was a little too New Wave for my taste. But then Sports came out in 1983, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. Bateman walks to his bathroom, taking a large ax out of the shower. He takes two Valium. BATEMAN (Said partly from the bathroom) The whole album has a clear, crisp sound and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that gives the songs a big boost. Bateman comes back out and leans the ax against the wall. He walks to the foyer and puts on a raincoat, watching Owen from behind ail the time. BATEMAN He's been compared to ELvis Costello but I think Huey has a more bitter, cynical sense of humor. Owen is absent-mindedly leafing through the Barneys catalogue. OWEN Hey, Halberstam? BATEMAN Yes, Owen? OWEN Why are there copies of the Style section all over the place? Do you have a dog? A chow or something? BATEMAN No, Owen. OWEN (Confused) Is that a raincoat? BATEMAN Yes, it is. Bateman moves to the CD player. He takes a CD out of its case and slides it in the machine. BATEMAN In 1987 Huey released this, Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think I heir undisputed masterpiece is "HiP To Be Square," a song so catchy that most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's al~ a personal statement about the band itself. Bateman puts on "Hip To Be Square." BATEMAN crosses the room and picks up the ax. We follow BATEMAN from behind as he walks up to Owen, the ax raised over his head. BATEMAN Hey, Paul? As Owen turns around, FROM OWEN'S POV we see Bateman swing the ax toward his face. Blood sprays onto the white raincoat. FROM BEHIND OWEN, we see BATEMAN as he yanks the ax out. Owen drops to the floor. His body falls out of the frame. We stay on his legs twitching mechanically. Blood pulses onto the newspaper-covered floor