Anubis the Jackal

A Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer travelling by train through Provence. The train enters a tunnel and the lights go out. Then came a kissing noise followed by the sound of a really loud slap. When the train exited the tunnel, Claudia and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman was holding his cheek. The Frenchman thought 'That Englishman must have tried to kiss Claudia and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia was thinking: 'The Frenchman must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' And the Englishman was thinking: 'Great! The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French tosser again.'

Anyone know if he's been buried yet, I've got my dancing shoes on at the moment.

Jason 'Spaceman' Pierce of Spacemen 3 / Spiritualzed

You're all partially right, seeing as everyone else seemed to be changing into their summer wardrobe, I thought I'd embrace the terrorist theme.

Is Mr Josco or his little man still around? Hopefully he wasn't the chap who was a little late for the train at Stockwell tube station on Friday

Caught 'red-handed'

When you say 'Moderator Job' you imply a waged position of authority. How wrong you are.

Were it not for the fact that it veers wildly off topic towards the end. Cars and crude innuendo seem to take over.

I actually found out a year ago that I have been using a type of steroids for a good 5 years if not more. How did you just 'find this out.' Has someone been slipping you interesting 'diet supplements?' You're not a tour de france cyclist or female chinese sprinter by any chance?

And he's got an advanced state of alzheimers... This is officially the 78th posting of that joke. Who has? 79th... Who has what...? Bringing up the 80 there.

Very nice 'Mr feces penetrator.' Your family must be so proud.

Good call, didn't know he was still with us (in spirit.Boom Boom.) Check out 'Taurus' from 1968 album 'Spirit.' Jimmy Page had certainly heard this when he 'wrote' "Stairway to Heaven"

And he's got an advanced state of alzheimers... This is officially the 78th posting of that joke.

Not in this part of London... more a mild annoyance about getting home.

And as he said just before he died, "Good job I haven't got pneumonia"

Shouldn't that read: Scotty will be born here? regards, Hein Or even : Scotty will have been born here...?

Nice sense of priorities there...

Should make it easier to go water-skiing He'll be useful for a quick game of five-a-side as well.

Has her own thread here.

Perhaps they could do the same for William Shatners' hairpiece, or even his Bassoon.

The only way to be, I'd say.

How much did you stick on and at what odds TH?

We are however getting a few too many 'God has called his 1st Engineer back home' postings for my liking. And yes, I know he probably wasn't the First Engineer, but to be frank, I'm glad that I don't give a fiddlers cuss.

Nooo...Not more livid liverpudlians! (see E.Hughes/Boris Johnson threads) A Peter O'Sullevan fanatic to boot.

That's more like it. Equal 4th (before James Doohans passing)