YoungWillz

Tie in the English Votes For English Laws though. Tories can do what they like on those matters. Given the kicking they've had nationally, what do they change? Which direction do they travel? Any major alteration to their manifesto is a pledge broken and the risk is their own backbenchers could flip at any time. Major was lame duck by the end, followed by a Labour landslide. Another election simply gives the belief to Labour voters they can win and more seats turn red. I was too young to remember the Wilson minority, but that was a change from Heath and the three day week, power cuts etc and the public re-elected him to give him a chance - again the belief was there. Damned if they do, damned if they don't...fun times.

For the party that claimed their result was a victory in Scotland. Doesn't narrow it down, does it?

I am ready to serve, ha ha.

Just leaving this here. Portugal in Eurovish and this. And still I can't predict deaths for love or money. Would have been better had Labour voters in Scotland not held their noses and voted Tory, thus allowing Tezza's party to gain the keys to the citadel. Question remains, who will replace Tezza? Majorities of potential candidates slashed across the country. Liz Truss? Justine Greening? Don't make me laugh....

UK Direct Rule effectively puts the DUP in charge of Northern Ireland.

7/25 for me. Not bad, I could have got another three on bare majorities. Unlikely to win I guess. No doubt when the dust settles, Deathray can sort it all out for everyone. I personally am shattered and off for a nap or three.

Ok the results are in. Unsurprisingly, Simon Danczuk came a distant last as an independent, so msc wins for this prediction. Wooden spoon goes to Deathray for picking Diane Abbott who romped home with a majority in excess of 35,000. Salmond, Clegg and Robertson gone. But possibly the Portillo moments of note came from those who just scraped home. Stephen Crabb and Amber Rudd looked tired and emotional, and Anna Soubry essentially in tears decried her party and her leader. See you all for the next one...coming soon?

What's the odds on Tezza stepping aside before noon BST?

Not a superb night for me, really close in loads of constituencies but lots of status quos. Still, it's not a nil score.

Nothing like the loss for Danczuk, but probably contender for hit of the night. I Knew he was gone.

Finding it hard to keep up, but Angus Robertson is the first big name to fall.

Tom Watson and Mhairi Black are first on the list and both re-elected.

My seat. Sorry to see Margaret go by a few votes. She was very very good.

Norris Wilson, co-writer of country hits including Charlie Rich's The Most Beautiful Girl, has died aged 79. http://www.countrystandardtime.com/news/newsitem.asp?xid=9670

Scotland may place Tezza back in Number 10. Bloody fools fooled. Interestingly allowing Tezza to push through her dementia tax south of the border, while it doesn't apply up in Scotland. Poll Tax revenge!

Amber Rudd in trouble? Ah well, she needs some time off after all the previous tragedies in her life recently. I don't mean that nastily by the way, in a way I feel she's had a hard time.

Coalition very unlikely, trying Brexit in minority almost impossible, if it is accurate we are all voting again.

Health warning on the SNP though, I'll be astonished if they've lost that many.

Looks like it might be hung after all!

Not long until David Dimbleby utters those immortal words from the exit poll. Gawd help this land....

I've just noticed that the majority that Vince Cable lost by in 2015 was....2017!!!! It's a sign, I tell ya...

Hmm, I'll probably be too busy and furious to chat. You could do an update here every hour, or do what I'm going to do with the Portillo Moment and change the colours as and when the results come in, with the odd scoreboard. Anyway, good luck with it Dimbers Deathray!

Oh I dunno, you can look to 75% of the Labour Party.....

Let's apply The Sun's bullet tests to Tezza, shall we? 1. Terrorists' Friend. Yep, they seem to be getting away with murder under her watch. 2. Useless on Brexit. Indeed, no-one sees to know what her plan is, she forgot Gibraltar,yada, yada, yada. 3. Destroyer of productivity. Yes, secure jobs are gone, more and more "self-employed" who are employees in law. More people in work but output lower. 4. Enemy of business. Proposed hard Brexit or possible no deal will crash the market. NI contributions to increase (be assured of that!) 5. Massive tax hikes. The so-called dementia tax will hit the sick and disabled harder, NI contributions again, no commitment not to raise income tax. Stealth taxes are the Conservatives bread and butter, they will get you one way or another. 6. Puppet of the wealthy. The inequality divide is growing apace, more people are predicted to be in poverty, public sector pay capped and private sector wages stagnant. Those independently wealthy are protected from the vast majority of cuts already in place. 7. Nuclear dogma. 130 billion to be spent on WMD, and a seemingly over-eagerness to consider using them, despite possibly being outdated by the time we get them. 8. Ruinous spending. We've had austerity for years and Tezza and chums have already borrowed mahoosively more than any previous Government. They've got lucky with low interest rates, but that has hit savers hard, inflation on the rise and black holes in an uncosted manifesto probably mean borrowing will increase and paying down the deficit will become harder, especially with the lack of growth anticipated. 9. Open immigration. It will continue, the cost of trade deals with more countries will be that people from those countries will be able to come here. So more Chinese, more Indians, more Americans (maybe), yada, yada yada. Continued failure to tackle UK education at source and further real terms cuts anticipated means the skills sets of UK people will remain subservient to other countries, and so in they will come. 10. Extremism. Ripping up human rights won't work, though the sound bite will be used by those who would harm us to further their agenda. A lurch to the right will encourage the legitimisation of the EDL, a resurgence of groups like the BNP and will further lead to hate crime. Right wing extremism is as bad as left wing extremism. Just for balance, he he.

Mama!