YoungWillz

As Culture Secretary, I'd bring in work suitability assessments. Anyone not up to scratch by my Government Guidelines (which would be amazingly harsh of course) would be debarred from working in film, TV, on radio or in the theatre. They would also lose any state benefits paid whilst "resting". Appearances on any type of reality or talent show would be met with the death penalty. Handsome redheads might be treated more leniently, provided they succumbed to a private interview with me. The Press would be treated differently. There would be a presumption of guilt when accused of any wrongdoing. Rebekah Brooks and Katie Hopkins would require to face the guillotine, in public, but only after the population of Manchester had taken a dump in their open mouths. In other words, I'm a total public hero.

Well, I think Bibliogryphon, the_engineer and msc all specifically mentioned Danny Alexander, so they share the spoils. Special Prize to Paul Bearer who predicted the demise of practically every Scottish Labour MP (one survived). Bibliogryphon also gets the wooden spoon for mentioning Jeremy Hunt who held his seat with the largest majority.

William Bast, co-creator of The Colbys and who adapted the screenplay for Richard Chamberlain's The Man In The Iron Mask, dead at 84. http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/william-bast-dead-colbys-creator-794177 He was James Dean's biographer.

Philip Perlman, father of Rhea Perlman, has died at 95. http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/philip-perlman-dead-cheers-barfly-792445

Phew. I'll admit to being a tiny bit concerned when I saw the exit polls last night, but in the event Ben tripled his majority and I got my money. Scottish pensioner also wins his bet. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-32655131

Whilst I'm over excited and over tired, if Labour had been a little more radical, been prepared to admit their failings in the past and been willing to talk to the SNP (a message which seemed to resonate with folks over the UK, but only we had the opportunity to vote for it), perhaps they might have stood a chance. When people were faced with two similar looking parties agreed on most things, why change? Cameron won't find it so easy regarding Scotland, I understand a large number of his backbenchers are against more powers. He'll become the squeezed middle PM.

List finalised. Thought Vince Cable looked in utter shock and Simon Hughes was shaken also. Good strike rate there. You've all done very well.

Right, been up all night and can't wait any longer for the delayed count for Farage. I'll update that result later. Danny Alexander leads the way as the biggest loser on votes cast, though if Farage comes third as seems predicted, he might be the real loser. Laters, Listers.

Rolling Results Page: Danny Alexander (Inverness, Nairn, Badenoch and Strathspey) Lost by 10,809 Douglas Alexander (Paisley and Renfrewshire South) Lost by 5,684. Ed Balls (Morley and Outwood) Lost by 422 Ben Bradshaw (Exeter) Hold 7,183 Vince Cable (Twickenham) Lost by 2,017 David Cameron (Witney) Hold 25,155 Douglas Carswell (Clacton) Hold 3,437 Nick Clegg (Sheffield Hallam) Hold 2,353 Jon Cruddas (Dagenham and Rainham) Hold 4,980 Margaret Curran (Glasgow East) Lost by 10,387 Nigel Farage (Thanet South) Lost by 2,812 Simon Hughes (Bermondsey and Old Southwark) Lost by 4,489 Jeremy Hunt (Surrey South West) Hold 28,556 Charles Kennedy (Ross, Skye and Lochaber) Lost by 5,124 Caroline Lucas (Brighton Pavilion) Hold 7,967 Esther McVey (Wirral West) Lost by 417 Ed Miliband (Doncaster North) Hold 11780 Nicky Morgan (Loughborough) Hold 9,183 Jim Murphy (East Renfrewshire) Lost by 3,718. Mark Reckless (Rochester and Strood) Lost by 7,133 Alex Salmond (Gordon) Wins Seat by 8,687 Anna Soubry (Broxtowe) Hold 4,287

Douglas Alexander first casualty.

Looks like we are waving goodbye to our human rights, ECHR, Europe. We'll be the richest pariah state in the Western world. Apparently Paddy Ashdown is going to eat his hat if the prediction is correct. Live on TV. Something worth watching at last in this election! Happy with the Culture Brief

Entries closed. Results later. Enjoy the show and if any come across some footage of their favourite Portillo Moment of this year's election, here's the place to put it. I've a nagging feeling there might be more surprises in store than we bargained for.

Japanese zoo has to apologise for naming newborn chimp Charlotte. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/wires/ap/article-3071700/Japan-zoo-apologizes-naming-newborn-monkey-Charlotte.html I'm upset. I'm angry. Why were we not given an opportunity to guess the date, time, weight etc of this chimp?

Reminds me about Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe who "died" for 2 minutes from a heroin overdose, before being revived.

Well, I've exercised my right to vote. In the constituency that is generally first to declare in Scotland. In one of Labour's safest seats. So this is likely to indicate how badly or how well they may do up here. I can say that the number of folk who appeared to be streaming towards the polling station is equivalent to or more than the referendum. Interesting times. All I could think though was "30 years I've been doing this and I haven't levelled up yet!"

What this thread was made for, the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, New York wants to use holograms to bring dead comedians and their routines back to life. http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/dead-comedians-to-perform-classic-standup-as-holograms-20150506

Henry A Williams III, an unindicted co-conspirator turned prosecution witness in the Abscam FBI sting upon which American Hustle was based, has died at 80. His evidence resulted in the conviction of U.S. Sen. Harrison A. Williams Jr. on corruption charges. http://www.northjersey.com/news/paterson-man-involved-in-abscam-corruption-case-dies-1.1326382

A long time since their greatest hour - finishing above the SDP in the Bootle by-election. At this late stage then: Soubry, Reckless, Morgan, McVey, Simon Hughes, Curran, Kennedy (sadly), and Danny. That ICM poll for Sheffield Hallam was so annoying. Which one will lose by the biggest margin do you think?

That horrible Haribo ad in the boardroom with the adults speaking with children's voices. Have any of those actors watched a child before giving their gurny, over-elaborate performance? Except for moustache guy at the end. Annoys the anger right out of me. And I don't like Haribo anyway.

Current Runners and Riders for convenience: Danny Alexander (Inverness, Nairn, Badenoch and Strathspey) Douglas Alexander (Paisley and Renfrewshire South) Ed Balls (Morley and Outwood) Ben Bradshaw (Exeter) Vince Cable (Twickenham) David Cameron (Witney) Douglas Carswell (Clacton) Nick Clegg (Sheffield Hallam) Jon Cruddas (Dagenham and Rainham) Margaret Curran (Glasgow East) Nigel Farage (South Thanet) Simon Hughes (Bermondsey and Old Southwark) Jeremy Hunt (South West Surrey) Charles Kennedy (Ross, Skye and Lochaber) Caroline Lucas (Brighton Pavilion) Esther McVey (Wirral West) Ed Miliband (Doncaster North) Nicky Morgan (Loughborough) Jim Murphy (East Renfrewshire) Mark Reckless (Rochester and Strood) Alex Salmond (Gordon) Anna Soubry (Broxtowe)

Spread betting, like your style! I may have to take your first answer of Nick Clegg though so I don't have a monster post of every election result! Best to stick with profile politicians, though admittedly the spotlight is on most Labour candidates up here.

Entries for guesses I'm closing at 6pm on May 7th. Any last guesses/entries are most welcome. I'll put up a list of results in due course. Prize of smug self-satisfaction to the winner. Just to be clear, I'm going for Jim Murphy.

Clifford Newbold, architect who helped design Dungeness Lighthouse and Millbank Tower and the owner of Wentworth Woodhouse, has died at 89. http://www.thestar.co.uk/news/wentworth-woodhouse-owner-dies-age-89-1-7247669

the most likely out of them is probably James earl jones Not so much an Earl as an Errol...Spooky.

See my post just before Errol on John Tout who has died - keyboardist though.