beebee

"pal -yaaaa-cheee"

Jesus is hanging up on the cross, and starts calling "peter, peter" peter is way back in the crowd and starts to shove his way through. "peter, peter" " i'm coming" says peter. finaly he gets to the foot of the cross and looks up. "yes, Lord?" Jesus looks down and says "I can see your house from here!" i am soooo going to hell for that one.

how about jack lalanne? he's gotta be pushing 100. saw him on the tv not too long ago. doing 1 finger on each hand push-ups.

space ship explosion, a nice big, sparkley one. but, i'll probably go like my mom's family. somewhere close to 95-100 yr, i'll get pnuemonia and die from it. it's tough to kill them ol' hillbillies. then i'm coming back and haunt a few deserving people.

i am happy to announce i have just finished the 11th and final "horatio hornblower". he was a naughty boy .i can certianly see captian kirk in him! now i have nothing to read. i have read the cereal boxes and the vcr instructions and the tag on the mattress. i even read the kids textbooks. what shall i do now?

i may be a post-hussy, but not a post- whore. or a post-toastie. i have never been posted, but i have read emily post. nor do i belong to the parliementry office of science and technology. i know who wiley post is. i am going to stop (<unscramble letters) because this has gone to the post-humor stage. please keep me posted p.s. i guess you can't have a pop-sycle in france.

arlo looked pretty pert last year. and, shall we say, well fed. he's good for another decade or two, i would bet. haven't heard anything about pete in years. since my dad was active with the union And played the banjo, i know just about everything he did. too bad my musical abilitiy, on a scale from 1 to 10, is about -5.

i was listening to an old arlo guthrie and pete seeger album, precious friend, and ran across this lovely little jewel of a poem, written by lee hays (remember "the weavers"?) in dead earnest by lee hays if i should die before i wake, all my bone and sinew take. put me in the compost pile to decompose a little while. worms, water, sun will have their way, returning me to common clay. all that i am will feed the trees and little fishes in the seas. when radishes and corn you munch, you may be having me for lunch. and then excrete me with a grin, chortling, "there goes lee again"

has anyone ever proven he's alive in the first place?

i am against the death penalty. as far as i know, it's never been shown to be a detriment to murder, it costs a lot of money and i believe it is morally wrong. however, some offenders i have a hard time considering human. child killers. i had the terrible experience of witnessing part of a murder. that guy, after they execute, i am going to go piss on his grave.

is this a good thing?

art linkletter.

worry about dr who's scarf. tom baker's scarves make a dr who scarf dr who scarf keep track of your underpants underpants. (don't you hate it when they go places and don't take you along?) and the most fun of all - play"louie, louie" on your phone! phone songs this impresses people no end.

You get to eat your son's homework, chef-ery Dahmer got to eat his friends! he ain't seen any my boy's friends. i mean, even if he weren't dead, they are a scruffy looking lot. plus at least 3 of them are after my youngest daughter,who, if i must say it myself, is a knockout. this is one of my her favorite links. click on "stages of decomposition" and watch the lovely film towards the bottom. stages of decomposition the star of this little epic is apparently known as "beethoven". may he

i can't help but think that dick cheney could be of SOME use if he would answer this one. and now....the joke a duck goes into a bar and asks the bartender "got any corn?" bartender says "no" the next day, the duck comes in and asks the bartender "got any corn?" the bartender says "NO" the third day, the duck comes in. "got any corn?" the bartender gats real mad and yells at the duck "this is a bar. we don't sell corn. if you ask me again, i'll nail your beak to the bar!" so, the next day, the duck comes in and asks "got any nails?" puzzled, the batender says "no" "then, got any corn?" first time i heard that i laughed so hard. i almost fell out of my crib.

they do. only on the planet vulcan. only every 7 years. o.k., pretend like there is this realy great shot of mr. spock and t'pring here. i lost it some how. maybe scotty beamed it up.

.. they do. only on the planet vulcan. only every 7 years.

another illusion shattered! arty, how could you! i'm going to go take a stress pill and lie down. (gulp) daisy, daisy...

as i recall, william shatner only charges $25. as of today, my autograph is selling for $2.95 (plus tax, shipping and handling) thats an L and some s's and p's for you british types. maybe. i think so. could be. well, just send me some money, and i'll get back to you on this one. "follow that fellow mctoad" Is it more if its on a blank cheque,(check)for you colonials.? my daddy, the colonel*, says we jus' put on a whole mess more zero's. i'm fixin' to start talkin' hillbilly to confuse ya'all. *you try to spell this sumbitch sometime

as i recall, william shatner only charges $25. as of today, my autograph is selling for $2.95 (plus tax, shipping and handling) thats an L and some s's and p's for you british types. maybe. i think so. could be. well, just send me some money, and i'll get back to you on this one. "follow that fellow mctoad"

I..emmm bahh, baahhhh Wouldn't say that too loud man....ye'll be getting all us Trekkies a really baaahd name P.S. I hope you haven't got a life sized sheep cutout !!! regards scsi i meant the guy who owns the sheep. evil minded people, geez. Its the fire chief I empathise with,thought it was on fire, just getting his hose out & BAM,scurrilous accusations flying about. but the worst part is the sheep was UNDERAGE!!!!! he is in trouble because it wasn't his. apparently, if it had belonged to him, everything would be peachy. "damn it, jim! i'm a doctor, not a vetranary phsycologist!"

crude, but somehow very satisfying. i whacked the slimey litte divot in the rectangle repeatedly. p.s. don't tell kermit.

my son, however, is studying chef-ery(?). we get to eat his homework.

she is studing pre-med. she is going to be a coroner. she is the only person i know who fishes for invitations to autopsies. she will get the most disgusting old textbooks to read for fun. my other girl in ....lawschool! she plans on being a prosecuter. i already hear some real gross dinner conversations.

from the documentary " the day ceasar was killed" made by the "two guys in togas" network mrs. ceasar was quoted as saying "i told him, julie, don't go. the lasangna is done" she is said to of been made suspicious by a man with an electric guitar outside the house. he was said to of been singing "baby please don't go". neighbors claim he looked suspisiously like "some dude named eric clapton". mr clapton had no comment. "i thought the gods were warning him." says mrs. ceasar. "we don't have electricity. it always seems so sci-fi." someone indeed, was trying to warn him. this was confirmed by a note found in his toga pocket, allegedly from an annonymus tipster. the note read "all your friends hate you. love & kisses, annonomus tipster" however, he decided to go anyway. he would live to regret it. but only for a little while. an hour later, slice and dice. mrs. ceasar is said to be concerned about getting all that blood off his toga in time for his funeral. the "toga for ceasar fund" is now open. donations will be gladly accepted by his dear friend, brutus. no, i have no idea what brought this on. another beer is called for. "here, beer! come here, beer! whoa, beer!"