jmh8300

Yes I heard Archer, and wondered why anyone would drag him out from whatever rock he's been hiding under. Jeffrey, the shoplifter, bankrupt, crap (but successful) author, prostitute using, prostitute bribing, perjurer and perverter of justice. Why anyone would want to listen to him is beyond me.

It's been a while since I have posted but I was listening to LBC this morning, and heard some wheezy old codger boring on about how great the English football team were doing in the world cup, although nothing could beat the orgasmic intensity of his having seen them win in 1966 (Yawn). I thought to myself; "hurry up and die." I then realised it was venerable football pundit Barry Davies. He's 85 and sounded VERY VERY OLD.

Indeed, not a pleasant combination, but perhaps the previous diagnosis of Parkinson's was a mis-diagnosis of his now fully developed Alzheimer's. The poor chap has been in a home since 2005, according to the BBC article about his CBE, and so is now 78. I dithered last year about his inclusion, but the yorker of fate has hit my middle stump of destiny and he's made the team! Howzat?

I've gone for Norman Wisdom, I can already hear the newsreader announce his demise. I'd love it to be Thatcher but I have a terrible feeling that she will hang on until next year's general election. Maybe the rejoicing at a Cameron victory will take her off, or perhaps the shock of a Brown come-back. Either way, I shall open a bottle of champagne when it happens.

Yes. "During the seance, Jackiey reportedly felt Jade's presence - and was moved to tears by it. 'I could smell Jade like she was standing there next to me - the feeling was incredible,' she said. And the smell must have been appalling...

I think his wife Mary, would have disagreed with that assertion, had she not shuffled off her mortal coil in 77. Nonetheless, I'm grateful to Les for my 9th point this year: La Rue, Fawcett, Goody, Mortimer, Malden, McNamara, Hart, Richrd and now Les.

Supported by Gordon Brown and judged by Piers Morgan. No wonder the poor cow's gone doolally.

That's 5 points for me so far, so thanks Danny. He wasn't gay you know, he just loved his mother, joined the navy and wore frocks. Right.

Where now will the Max Clifford death circus turn? Although I suppose this remunerative revenue stream will continue to flow, given that Jade's husband was due in court for sentencing on the 26th. Another point though - cheers Jade!

Sorry to see him go, even if he was a lawyer....but pleased for my first point of 2009. I feel for the champagne sellers of Buckinghamshire.

Ominous indeed. As a sufferer of pancreatic cancer about four years ago, the info on wikipedia that "5-year survival is less than 5%" must not be comforting. Another reason for Mac lovers to hate the PC. At least I have Swayze on my list.

Sadly he wasn't my number six, or indeed any other number. Is it just me or did he come across as rather odd and stiff in everything he appeared in? Obviously not as stiff as he will shortly become ....

I prefer "Dead-ender" Wendy Richard. She's a dead cert for 2009, having had cancer spread to the kidneys, ribs and spine. I had thought she might not make it past New Year, as the last photographs showed her to be clearly very ill. She was only slightly better looking than my avatar. When she left Eastenders, she said, "I'm sad to leave the show but life has to go on." Hmmmmm.....

"Ludo" is a great man. I was at school with his son Alistair and we got him in to speak to the History Society about his experiences assisting in the sinking of the Bismark. It was the most enthralling lecture I've ever heard and the best attended. Given that was 30 years ago (christ!) he must be pushing 90 now. I admire his secular and pro-euthanasia views and hope he doesn't have to put the latter set of values into practice any time soon, but I respect his right to do so. I normally detest Liberal Democrats but he is my one exception. Game on!

Their beliefs are no less strange to me than believing that the world is only 6,000 years old, that an executed Jewish rabble rouser returned from the dead, that the sun god requires a daily human sacrifice before rising, that you can't drink alcohol or eat pork, that you must smoke marijuana or that some chap with a beard favours one race of people above all others on this planet. The above belief systems are all man made, essentially dishonest and disorganised. At least Hubbard, Scientology's founder, was organised. "If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion." His honesty is still in doubt as far as I'm concerned.

He's not looking good...

Some excellent jokes on display here, and I'm sure Beadle would have enjoyed them. Many would say he was, and I apologise for my language, "a C-word" but I'm not one of those. Although I never met him, I was impressed with his intelligence, sincerity and character which were apparent in a number of interviews. Here was a man whose personality was far removed from the public persona. Thanks maryportfuncity for the insight into Beadle and yourself. Mystery animals - you say?

Gordon B. Hinckley http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7212488.stm A very latter day saint. At 97 he should have been on my list. Dammit. Congratulations themaninblack - 5 already!

A grammy of cokey? So she abuses booze, cannabis, coke, heroin, ecstasy (crushed and snorted) and now crack cocaine. Rehab will have their work cut out. She's only going to have a chance if her complete waster of a husband, who is only able to utter monosyllabic grunts, while grinning inanely beneath a grubby fedora, goes down for a long stretch on charges of assault and perverting the course of justice. He's the drug she needs to get out of her system first.

By the way.... aren't there two Ls in HILLARY?

If I may quote the GREAT man himself, "Well George, we've knocked the bastard off." What a way to start 2008.

Jacobites? Franz, Duke of Bavaria? Prince Michael of Albany? Good grief! Why replace one antiquated, irrelevant dynasty with even more antiquated irrelevancies? What's wrong with democracy? You know, electing your head of state rather than deciding who it should be, dependent on the vagaries of one parasitical family's reproductive tendencies. I'm genuinely depressed that deference is as prevalent as it is in this day and age. I guess that's me off Windsor's Christmas card list.

Smith may be dead - but he's still a better leader than Mugabe...

I know it goes against the grain but I really hope she makes it. Unlike so many, she has real talent and it would be a shame to see that disappear so early. Jesus - I must be drunk.

I voted for Amy on the grounds of high probability. However if this were a Single Transferable Vote poll, I would have cast my second vote for Pete D. Not because the fool will inevitably OD on smack, but for having spawned the fashion of wearing drab trilbies "jauntily" on the back of the head. Sallow, callow "yoofs" everywhere are affecting the Pete D look - don't they know it makes no sense to emulate a second rate junkie and that trilbies are intrinsically not fashionable? Sid James wore one for christ's sake!