TQR

Is this rhyming slang?

It turns out the Tories think rainbow lanyards are more dangerous than ninja swords.

Thu 16 May 66 Katy Perry ft. Snoop Dogg — California Gurls 65 Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris — We Found Love 64 Lady Gaga & Beyoncé — Telephone 46 Cee Lo Green — Forget You 43 Adele — NEH MAII NAH FAIII, SERRR WERR LAHHK YOOOOOOOO -6 37 Yolanda Be Cool Vs D Cup — We No Speak Americano 36 Owl City — Fireflies +4 36 Tinie Tempah — Pass Out 35 Tinie Tempah — Written In The Stars 33 Professor Green ft. Emeli Sande — Read All About It 32 Rihanna — Only Girl (In The World) 32 Jessie J ft. B.O.B — Price Tag 29 Iyaz — Replay 28 Scouting For Girls — This Ain't A Love Song 28 B.O.B ft. Hayley Williams — Airplanes 28 B.O.B ft. Bruno Mars — Nothin' On You 27 DJ Fresh ft. Sian Evans — Louder 27 Taio Cruz — Dynamite 27 Olly Murs — Dance With Me Tonight 25 Flo Rida ft. David Guetta — Club Can't Handle Me 24 Example — Changed The Way You Kiss Me 24 Bruno Mars — Just The Way You Are 24 Olly Murs ft. Rizzle Kicks — Heart Skips A Beat 21 Roll Deep — Green Light 19 David Guetta ft. Chris Willis — Gettin' Over You 18 Alexandra Burke ft. Laza Morgan — Start Without You 18 Roll Deep — Good Times  17 Bruno Mars — Grenade 16 Example — Stay Awake 15 Nero — Promises 

Thu 16 May 35 David Bowie - Life on Mars? 33 Mott the Hoople - All The Young Dudes +4 32 Hawkwind - Silver Machine 29 Carly Simon - You’re So Vain -6 27 T. Rex - 20th Century Boy 27 America - A Horse With No Name 25 Suzi Quatro - 48 Crash 23 Python Lee Jackson - In a Broken Dream 23 Gilbert O’Sullivan - Alone Again (Naturally) 22 The Drifters - At The Club/Saturday Night At The Movies 21 The Shangri-Las - Leader of the Pack 21 David Bowie - Drive-In Saturday 21 Limmie and the Family Cookin’ - You Can Do Magic 20 Lindisfarne - Lady Eleanor 20 Medicine Head - One and One is One 20 Mungo Jerry - Alright, Alright, Alright 16 Peter Skellern - You’re a Lady 14 The Chi-Lites - Have You Seen Her 12 David Essex - Rock On 11 Perry Como - And I Love You So 08 David Bowie - Sorrow

In his first official (no, seriously!) portrait since the coronation, King Charles finally gets his wish of being a tampon.

Fico, who my phone autocorrected to ‘Fuck’, has been in surgery for three and a half hours so far and is not looking good, according to their defence minister. If it goes the way it looks like it might, update will follow in the Assassination thread.

I can't fucking win.

Oh, it's not a complaint! This is one of the more interesting contributions hereabouts. The thread was hijacked months and months ago and wasn't locked so it's clearly now a free-for-all. Tbh it should be merged with an existing thread in Extra-Curricular to create one Drunk? Bored? Psychopath? Jimmy Carter? superthread.

"Where were you when Jimmy Carter died?" Me? Discussing marsupial cocks.

Attempt on Robert Fico, Slovak PM. Currently in a life-threatening condition. There you fucking go Willz.

Headshot and still no updates? That's probably game over.

It's definitely an attempted assassination. Very little reported of his condition yet except that four shots were fired and one hit Fico, who was picked up from the ground by his security guards and taken to hospital.

Robert Fico, the Prime Minister of Slovakia, has been injured in a shooting.

They actually did a bit of this!

Starmer just referred to Sunak as a "jumped up milk monitor"

And what the fuck is that link? *looks closely* Oh, it's the same as the one posted earlier. The only thing that's coming to the end is the will to live of the poor sods who visit this thread when there's been another update, 'just incase', only to find this poxy shit.

Moaning minnies here gonna look silly when December Durchfall arrives!

By that logic, we may as well just stop tossing about and let the top 6 go through now. KoS is ostensibly an elaborate opinion poll, so the best possible contribution to the game is a score reflective of your opinion.

Theoretically not, but let’s have a look at the Essex MPs anyway (all of which currently Tory cos cunts) John Baron James Stupidly Alex Burghart Rebecca Harris Vicky Ford Giles Watling Will Quince Eleanor Laing Robert Halfon Bernard Jenkin John Whittingdale Mark Francois James Duddridge Kemi Badenough Stephen Twatcalfe Anna Firth Jackie Doyle-Price Pritler Patel

Wed 15 May 65 Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris — We Found Love 65 Katy Perry ft. Snoop Dogg — California Gurls 62 Lady Gaga & Beyoncé — Telephone 51 Foghorn Leghorn — Someone Like You -6 42 Cee Lo Green — Forget You 39 Tinie Tempah — Pass Out 35 Tinie Tempah — Written In The Stars 34 Owl City — Fireflies +4 34 Yolanda Be Cool Vs D Cup — We No Speak Americano 32 Rihanna — Only Girl (In The World) 32 Jessie J ft. B.O.B — Price Tag 30 Professor Green ft. Emeli Sande — Read All About It 29 Iyaz — Replay 28 Scouting For Girls — This Ain't A Love Song 28 Olly Murs — Dance With Me Tonight 27 B.O.B ft. Bruno Mars — Nothin' On You 27 Olly Murs ft. Rizzle Kicks — Heart Skips A Beat 26 B.O.B ft. Hayley Williams — Airplanes 26 Taio Cruz — Dynamite 25 Flo Rida ft. David Guetta — Club Can't Handle Me 25 DJ Fresh ft. Sian Evans — Louder 24 Example — Changed The Way You Kiss Me 23 Bruno Mars — Just The Way You Are 22 Roll Deep — Green Light 21 Bruno Mars — Grenade 21 Nero — Promises 20 Roll Deep — Good Times 20 Alexandra Burke ft. Laza Morgan — Start Without You 20 Example — Stay Awake 19 David Guetta ft. Chris Willis — Gettin' Over You 12 Little Mix — Cannonball 08 Kesha — We R Who We R 

Wed 15 May 33 David Bowie - Life on Mars? 29 Mott the Hoople - All The Young Dudes +4 28 Hawkwind - Silver Machine 25 The Shangri-Las - Leader of the Pack 25 T. Rex - 20th Century Boy 24 Gilbert O’Sullivan - Alone Again (Naturally) 23 America - A Horse With No Name 22 The Drifters - At The Club/Saturday Night At The Movies 21 David Bowie - Drive-In Saturday 21 Python Lee Jackson - In a Broken Dream 20 Lindisfarne - Lady Eleanor 20 Medicine Head - One and One is One 20 Mungo Jerry - Alright, Alright, Alright 20 Limmie and the Family Cookin’ - You Can Do Magic 20 Carly Simon - You’re So Vain -6 19 Suzi Quatro - 48 Crash 19 Peter Skellern - You’re a Lady 18 The Chi-Lites - Have You Seen Her  18 Perry Como - And I Love You So 18 David Essex - Rock On 17 David Bowie - Sorrow 12 Faron Young - It’s Four in the Morning 10 Bobby “Boris” Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers - Monster Mash 10 David Cassidy - I Am a Clown/Some Kind of a Summer Sorry, but I'll give Vain minus points the whole game if I have to. It's not as good as people think it is. Bit like that little ditty by my friends The Killers.

Loads of people who've dropped this year have had varying degrees of significance for me. Not for you, maybe, but that's fine. Everyone has their own individual enema plops. Steve Wright, Annie Nightingale, Ian Lavender, considerable splashes as far as I'm concerned. As for the official DL, people just need a bit of patience. Sit on the bog and read an article and shut up. It'll make its way out soon.

Capitals in my name please. You want pedant, you fucking well get pedant!

I didn't add the spaces.