TQR

This is trending on Twitter. A clip of a very small portion of this nauseating old perv’s creepiness.

A letter from Trade Secretary Liz Truss to Rishi Sunak and Michael Gove, explaining reasons why the UK’s post-EU borders won’t be ready for 2021, has been leaked. She says: We risk smuggling as ports won’t be ready NI protocols won’t be ready either We risk legal challenges from WTO and huge reputational damage (no shit) So we can expect Cummings to sack her within the next 24 hours.

A few musical ones: Marc Almond, off of Soft Cell, 63 Jim Kerr, off of Simple Minds, 61 Courtney Love, off of not killing her husband, 56

I agree that retraining is a worthwhile investment. But your point about businesses taking on the people for the incentives and then binning them simply isn't true. George Osborne's apprenticeship schemes, as one example, are why I've got the job I have now. Vast portions of the engineering sector are built on these schemes, and in fact many have a requirement of the employer to guarantee the people they claim for a job for a set amount of time. Couple of years, normally. You're saying about this magic money tree that can't be shaken, and yet you've outlined a couple of areas that need more investment - training, tenants who can't even afford to put food on their own table leave alone a table at their local restaurant, the homeless...and without the help for employers and, therefore, employees, a lot more people would end up in this situation. Not enough is being spent on people in such dire straits though, that I do agree with. Had Labour won in December, we may have had a lower death toll and, in total, a less contemptible Cabinet. But you can't pretend we'd not have still ended up seeing a hike in unemployment and an economy crash.

Absolutely. I have genuine contempt for our PM and almost all of our Cabinet, to a point now where I’m sure that the people who still believe our government have done and are doing a good job either haven’t been following properly or are likely quite an arse. My politics obviously aren’t aligned with theirs but this contempt doesn’t come from them not being who I vote for; it comes from them being a deceitful, narcissistic, sneering, neglectful, abhorrent bunch of cunts. Sunak, however, is an exception. He’s the only Tory minister who appears to be trying to do right by the larger population. He’s saved me from deep shit, and nearly 10m others. He’s not been afraid to spend, given that he knows our economy has been in a cataclysmic car crash anyway. He hasn’t gone far enough in a fair few ways, but given the caliber of the rest of our wretched govt ministers it could be a fuck side worse. I can’t knock him too much for being some source of goodness and help amongst a massive pile of dreck.

Yes, but a shitload fewer than if small business owners didn’t get the break they are getting, right?

Well, the furloughed workers can only have hope if the employers can keep the business afloat, hence the incentives. Sure, a huge number of people appear to have been unjustly forgotten about by the treasury, but it's not a bad thing that employers are being given help; not all employers are Richard Branson. As LFN touched on, smaller businesses are vital to our economy, and it's vital that they get the support they need else that's a shitload of people out of a job. And for the record, being from the South East doesn't mean I'm a Tory, and neither does it mean I'm moneyed; I know what it's like to feel the pinch, I'm down to 8 bottles of Veuve Clicquot a week now.

Thursday: 130

He’s not trying to win this year. He’ll probably give it a ‘proper’ go in ‘24. All he’s doing this time round, and I expect he’s been advised of this, is depriving Biden of a few votes.

Headline of Chancellor’s new plans: Dishy Rishi Dishes Dosh for Rich Dishes.

12 stone of solid cunt. Ending police brutality? Yes. The other four “policies”? Shocking. Absolute rocket.

That's unfair, the man's just looking for a fitting vehicle for his talents. I'd suggest a hearse.

I fucking loved this as a kid, and it still bangs now. N.E.R.D, the rock/hip hop band containing Pharrell Williams before he was happy.

Yes, sorry, my mistake, he appeared in a couple of films in the 70s too.

Wednesday 146

Ringo Starr, off of Thomas The Tank Engine, is 80 today

Putting my A* German GCSE from almost a decade ago to use, I believe they say ‘verdammt noch mal’, basically ‘damn it all’ more often, though our German users may well correct me here. They’re just too fucking polite.

Tuesday: 133

But then is ‘Fuck’ is a noun, for example instead of ‘God’, meaning it’d be “For Fuck’s sake” capitalised?

Please advise:

Monday: 27

Sunday: 36

I’ve seen 137 quoted by Alastair Campbell, that’s all I’ve seen so far

He’s absolutely incapable of not sounding like a bellend, isn’t he?

Social distancing guidelines after your eighth pint: