TQR

Hawke scores for myself & Old Crem. I'm fucking bossing this now.

June Carter Cash went to Jackson and never came back on this day 16 years ago, aged 73.

Donbavand scores for myself, SC and Chorizo.

A full 33 points for me. Look at that. What a pro.

Sometimes I can be such a knob.

Breah Lacknell.

I listened to the Silent Cry album by Feeder earlier. It's 11 years old. It's aged very well. Listen to it.

I think I have one of his aftershaves?

Tuff Gong, Jamrock's finest musician, did drop out 38 years ago todeh. Rasta was just 36 years old.

Quim agrees.

Called 'Three', actually is a big fat load of number two.

Have I Got News For You was pulled last night at the last minute, as Change UK's Heidi Allen was on the panel. The BBC elected not to broadcast the episode "so as to allow equal representation of parties and views in the run-up to EU Elections". Nigel Führage, on the other hand, was on HIGNFY in the close run-up to the 2014 EU Elections, and made his 34th appearance on Question Time on Thursday night. Equal representation my arris.

The National Alcoholic Mad Bastards Lunatic Asylum?

Here right on cue, msc Fuckit. That’s all my hopes gone. Bugger, poo, piss and pants

Or James, after his paternal grandfather?

Thrilled for the family at the momentous occasion of the birth of His Royal Highness Prince Nigel of Sussex

Mary Wilson died in June 2018. Cheers CC for running, well done DI and hopefully I'll be slightly less shit in 19-20.

MMMDP Form Guide #23 Clive James He's terminally terminally ill. He's as sharp as a tack but looks like a bag of bollocks nowadays. Is this exhaustingly elongated final chapter finally going to conclude this summer?

So near me, the Tories have lost Chelmsford to the Lib Dems in a huge swing their way (26 seats!), and they lost control of Basildon. I’m glad that, across the country, both the main two have made significant losses.

I was one of two people in my polling station. I only had 3 choices: Tory, Labour or Lib Dem. I very nearly drew a dick and balls over the ballot paper. The meagre turnout, however, was such that it could've accidentally won a majority. On the knowledge that my dick and balls wouldn't have enough time to commit to being local councillor, I voted Lib Dem instead. Looking at the pictures of the candidates, he was the nearest thing.

Gavin Williamson's got a face you'd never tire of pelting with rocks.

My wins have been 6-3, 6-3 and 3-0. @Boudicca's wins have been 3-0, 0-0 and 0-0. Either way, neither of us are exactly odds on to get a cricket score. And if it comes to a coin toss, I'm buggered

Pei-tsun dying really would do me a solid...failing that, as per my previous war cry: ”I am definitely going to lose this, arse burgers”