TQR

Fuck me. What a shower of arse jalfrezi. House of Commons indicative votes Mk.2, results: (C) Customs Union AYES: 273 NOES: 276 (D) Common Market 2.0 AYES: 261 NOES: 282 (E) Confirmatory Public Vote AYES: 280 NOES: 292 (G) Parliamentary Supremacy AYES: 191 NOES: 292 I can't help but think that this is as close as Commons can get to any sort of majority, such is the division.

Four proposals are being voted on today, with results expected about 2200 GMT. Motion C: Customs Union - May's ruled this out before, as it would hinder the UK's chances of striking our own independent deals. Eases the NI backstop problems a bit, but otherwise makes fuck all sense. Certainly not as much sense as... Motion D: Common Market 2.0 - Basically the Norway deal, at last getting some consideration. Keeps us in the EEA and EFTA. Widely considered the least damaging way, mutually for the EU and the UK, of us leaving, whilst exempting us of having to abide by EU's home/justice guidelines and meaning we don't have to be in the Customs Union. Motion E: Confirmatory Public Vote - A second referendum. The public have to approve the deal parliament arrives at. Whether that referendum means the deal or remaining is unclear, though I should imagine it would. Interestingly, when it was tabled by Dame Margaret Beckett, it received the most Ayes of all the amendments of that fateful day. Motion G: Parliamentary Supremacy - Basically tackles the issue of having no consensus, in that if they can't agree a deal in parliament and subsequently an extension to Article 50 with the EU, they vote between No Deal and Revoking A50. Makes sense, really. Labour may be whipped to back Motion D, apparently. It does seem a likely compromise for the Leave-Remain sides. Certainly, I myself feel if we are going to leave, this motion is the way to go about it. A bit like if I were to catch cancer, I'd sooner have a little removable mole on my face than a Bracknell-esque lung.

Cheers mate.

Cheers Mary! 'Twas a close one. @Book. You see what I'm capable of. Start worrying*. *Don't bother. You'll probably piss all over my team.

I've just seen I'm against Book (subject to no more deaths in the next 7 hours) I am totally losing this round, arse burgers!

We ran out of Ronnies on this day 3 years ago as Corbett died aged 85. Yes yes, it's goodnight from him.

Leah Bracknell (5 pts) Sam Lloyd (5 pts) Kathleen Blanco (5 pts) Pope Benedict XVI (5 pts) Clive James (5 pts)

Alice Weidel is right in that an internally reformed EU is the answer; basically what Cameron tried to achieve when reviewing our relationship with the EU before the referendum (and, largely, achieved). The UK leaving is an extraordinary act of self harm, and likewise the Macrons and Barniers of the organisation actively stoking the fire and the Merkels and Verhofstadts demonstrating such arrogance in what is a difficult time for all of us is also an act of self harm for the EU. We're all tearing ourselves limb from limb.

AYES: 286 NOES: 344 SURPRISES: 0

Very pivotal death; breaks the deadlock between Clorox & AOG and Myself & Maryport; ties up the battle of the Admins.

They've really "taken back control", haven't they? Instead, owing to their inherent fuckwittery, they're too focused on May's imminent resignation. Very canny of her to announce it today, vote all other options down before her deal is voted on. Interestingly, the motion with the most Aye votes was Dame Margaret Beckett's second referendum proposal...there's a good chance this could eventually garner enough support for a majority.

Only Theresa May could be considered overrated despite being as unpopular as a bag of pork scratchings in a Synagogue.

I should think Maryport's got the victory in the bag. But nethertheless I'll try cobble together a list if I get a chance on Friday.

Whereas with your philosophy it's, erm, all...gonna...be...fine?

Just gone through 4 million signatures... I don't know what I'd enjoy more, the revocation or the vast quantities of egg on Leadsom's face.

He's already started work on May

I'd dearly like to meet these 823 Gibraltarians and ask them if they understood the question.

Definitely in my top 5 favourite songs of all time. This version's a live acoustic one 28 years ago, and Stipe's voice is just to die for.

Has your prefrontal cortex not already been eroded by years of substance abuse?

Shepherd’s Pie can piss off and fuck off. Pies are pastry, Replacing pastry with a vegetable?? That’s no fair swap, is it?

Look at this utter shit stain. It's Martin McGuinness. Happily, he died two years ago today. He lived 66 years of unbridled cuntiness.

Why've you gotta be like this ffs?

Lá Fhéile Pádraig an all that. Guinness is filling.

Yeah. Not bad, is it? It's hard to tell now if it's an epidemic of cognitive dissonance or just a shower of undiluted fuckwittery.

Jim Bowen got his bus fare home on this day last year, aged 80.