TQR

Air hairlair. Welcome to, gosh, the FIFTEENTH edition of Kill or Save! As we continue to slam through the UK charts through the decades, we arrive here: the last decade (until 2030 at least) of No.1s to sort through. Except it’s actually the first decade, for we travel back to a sepia time where the Singles Charts as we know them were born: the 1950s. It was an education sorting through this list. Back then, you actually had songs tied on sales, which involved people going to actual shops and everything. And 90% of the entries were by someone “And His Orchestra”, much of which I’ve painstakingly edited out. Different times innit. Of course, you won’t be expected to know all these singles from 65+ years ago - that’d be a stretch even for our cherished player theoldlady - so you might need a little familiarisation session. Don’t worry though, it’s a much smaller list than the last game. Fancy reliving all the action? See below for links to all Kill or Save games to date: 50s No.1s (you are here); 60s No.1s; 70s No.1s; 80s No.1s; 90s No.1s; 00s No.1s; 10s No.1s 60s No.2s; 70s No.2s; 80s No.2s; 90s No.2s; 00s No. 2s 70s No.3s; 80s No.3s (IN PLAY!) Christmas Special 2023 KoS HoF The Rolling Stones — Paint It, Black Donna Summer — I Feel Love Nena — 99 Red Balloons Madonna — Vogue Gorillaz — Dare Gotye ft. Kimbra — Somebody That I Used To Know The Pogues ft. Kirsty MacColl — Fairytale Of New York Barry Ryan — Eloise Queen — Somebody To Love A-Ha — Take On Me The Cardigans — Lovefool Sophie Ellis-Bextor — Murder On The Dancefloor David Bowie — Life On Mars? Rules here, purely for me to quote if you break them: Each song starts with 20 points (whether it deserves it or not). You can vote once a day. Since we all live in different parts of the world with all sorts of different timezones, please add a date at the top of your votes to avoid any confusion (e.g. Thu 25 Jul, 25/7/24, 7/25/24 if you’re a wrongun). Each day you may add up to 4 points to and subtract 6 points from any song on the board. You can split your points between as many songs as you like. You must use all six minus points (unless it’s a round-ending turn) and give at least one plus point. Placeholder posts are allowed, but if you don't edit your votes within 5 minutes, then the next person can go and do their votes. Consecutive votes are not allowed. Before voting, please listen to the songs of each round and vote according to your own opinions, don't vote for songs because they're high/low on the board or because of your opinions about the artist, only the song matters. Make sure you copy and paste the most recent voter's scoreboard when you take your turn to score. For your own ease, ‘paste as plain text’ to get rid of the previous poster’s formatting. Then, delete their +/- scores, add yours, adjust the song’s points total and make your scores bold. Here’s a random example post from a previous game’s finale: See, below, the dinky little list of 94 UK No.1 songs from the 1950s: Usually, we go through 5 group stages, but the charts only began in November 1952 so there are actually only 4 groups, beginning with the No.1 hits of 1952/53, followed by a grand final consisting of the 25 songs that have qualified, where we will ultimately decide what the best chart topper of the 1950s is, and the artist(s) can smile down on all the copies of their singles that’ve been gathering dust in charity shops since your nan’s house clearance. The groups are as follows: 1952-53: 15 songs, 4 finalists 1954-55: 25 songs, 7 finalists 1956-57: 25 songs, 7 finalists 1958-59: 29 songs, 7 finalists Should be a piece of piss, this. Anyway, time to dig out the old 12-inches. Let’s Kill or Save!

Sat 31 Aug 25 Madness - Baggy Trousers +1 22 The Damned - Eloise 21 Roy Orbison - You Got It +1 21 Yazoo - Don’t Go +1 21 Bronski Beat - Smalltown Boy +1 21 Queen - A Kind of Magic 21 Queen - I Want It All 20 Aztec Camera - Somewhere in My Heart 20 Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time 20 Earth, Wind & Fire - Let’s Groove 20 Eurythmics - Who’s That Girl? 20 Jona Lewie - Stop the Cavalry 20 Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill 20 Michael Jackson - Bad 20 New Order - Blue Monday 88 20 Soft Cell - Say Hello, Wave Goodbye 20 Tears for Fears - Mad World 20 The Bangles - Walk Like an Egyptian 20 The J. Geils Band - Centerfold 20 The Vapors - Turning Japanese 20 Tina Turner - We Don’t Need Another Hero (Thunderdome) 20 Ultravox - Dancing with Tears in My Eyes 14 Heart - Alone 14 Womack & Womack - Teardrops 14 Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark - Souvenir -6 Great job, everyone, that's a bloody good final on the whole!

I quite agree. For someone whose untimely demise supposedly signalled the death of music, many of his songs are surprisingly rubbish.

Oh for Jesus sake…

Didn’t mind which two of the bottom three there got through. Heck of a recovery for Teardrops!

That's all well and good @Paul Bearer, but you have to give minus points too. Six of them. EDIT: Done, cheers.

A mostly great top-7! Tell you what, the final's going to be, as old people say, a doozy. Right, here's the last qualifying round, with another 7 going through. Quite honestly, it's a shame it's not more; what a superb selection! 1958-59 Sat 31 Aug 21 Bobby Darin — Dream Lover +1 21 Connie Francis — Who’s Sorry Now +1 21 The Everly Brothers — All I Have To Do Is Dream / Claudette +1 21 Bobby Darin — Mack The Knife +1 20 Jerry Lee Lewis — Great Balls Of Fire 20 Elvis Presley — Jailhouse Rock 20 Michael Holliday — The Story Of My Life 20 Perry Como — Magic Moments 20 Marvin Rainwater — Whole Lotta Woman 20 Vic Damone — On The Street Where You Live 20 Kalin Twins — When 20 Connie Francis — Stupid Cupid / Carolina Moon 20 Tommy Edwards — It’s All In The Game 20 Lord Rockingham’s XI — Hoots Mon 20 Conway Twitty — It’s Only Make Believe 20 Jane Morgan — The Day The Rains Came 20 Elvis Presley — One Night / I Got Stung 20 Shirley Bassey — As I Love You 20 The Platters — Smoke Gets In Your Eyes 20 Russ Conway — Side Saddle 20 Buddy Holly — It Doesn’t Matter Anymore 20 Elvis Presley — A Fool Such As I / I Need Your Love Tonight 20 Russ Conway — Roulette 20 Craig Douglas — Only Sixteen 20 Jerry Keller — Here Comes Summer 20 Cliff Richard & The Shadows — Travellin’ Light 20 Adam Faith — What Do You Want? 20 Emile Ford — What Do You Want To Make Those Eyes At Me For? 14 Cliff Richard — Living Doll -6 Struggled to pick just four to give a point to. Had to give one to the Everly Brothers because even Claudette is good. Both of Bobby Darin's songs are right near the top of the whole game for me; Dream Lover is gorgeous and his Mack The Knife is the best version imo.

Sat 31 Aug 75 Roy Orbison - You Got It  75 New Order - Blue Monday 88 75 Queen - I Want It All 55 Aztec Camera — Somewhere In My Heart -6 25 Transvision Vamp - Baby I Don’t Care +1 25 Womack & Womack - Teardrops +3

Sat 31 Aug 65 Tennessee Ernie Ford — Sixteen Tons 48 The Crickets — That’ll Be The Day 48 Elvis Presley — All Shook Up 36 The Teenagers ft. Frankie Lymon — Why Do Fools Fall In Love 35 Doris Day — Que Sera Sera -6 34 Paul Anka — Diana 30 Guy Mitchell — Singing The Blues 12 Guy Mitchell & Jimmy Carroll — Rock-A-Billy +4

Fri 30 Aug 75 Roy Orbison - You Got It  72 Queen - I Want It All 71 New Order - Blue Monday 88 63 Aztec Camera — Somewhere In My Heart 52 Transvision Vamp - Baby I Don’t Care 21 Womack & Womack - Teardrops +4 0 Billy Ocean - Get Outta My Car -6

Fri 30 Aug 57 Tennessee Ernie Ford — Sixteen Tons 44 The Crickets — That’ll Be The Day 43 Elvis Presley — All Shook Up 42 Paul Anka — Diana 36 The Teenagers ft. Frankie Lymon — Why Do Fools Fall In Love +4 34 Doris Day — Que Sera Sera -6 31 Guy Mitchell — Singing The Blues 14 Guy Mitchell & Jimmy Carroll — Rock-A-Billy 14 Andy Williams — Butterfly 11 Johnnie Ray — Yes Tonight, Josephine 10 Dean Martin — Memories Are Made Of This

Looks set to be a pretty much perfect top-5 imo! Would be just as happy if it was Womack² instead of Aztec Camera or Transvision Vamp tbh but that's not looking terribly likely.

Thu 29 Aug 69 New Order - Blue Monday 88 69 Queen - I Want It All 69 Roy Orbison - You Got It  63 Aztec Camera — Somewhere In My Heart 56 Transvision Vamp - Baby I Don’t Care +4 18 Billy Ocean - Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car -3 18 Kim Wilde - You Came -3 18 Womack & Womack - Teardrops 04 Jeff Wayne - The Eve Of The War (Ben Liebrand Remix)

Thu 29 Aug 53 Tennessee Ernie Ford — Sixteen Tons 43 The Teenagers ft. Frankie Lymon — Why Do Fools Fall In Love +2 43 Paul Anka — Diana +2 41 The Crickets — That’ll Be The Day 41 Elvis Presley — All Shook Up 30 Guy Mitchell — Singing The Blues 25 Doris Day — Que Sera Sera -6 20 Johnnie Ray — Yes Tonight, Josephine 20 Andy Williams — Butterfly 20 Guy Mitchell & Jimmy Carroll — Rock-A-Billy 16 Dean Martin — Memories Are Made Of This 09 Lonnie Donegan — Puttin’ On The Style / Gamblin’ Man 07 Johnnie Ray — Just Walking In The Rain

I really like 6 of the current top 7. It's easy to dismiss the 50s (as many people older than me do) as just a load of big band bullshit, crooner-y cobblers and that fucking silly sod Lonnie Donegan, but actually there are loads of gems from this era. I know a fair few fellow milennials who like this stuff, and the YouTube comments sections of these songs have just as many zoomers saying "I'm only x years old and I love this" as there are boomers saying "I still know the words 65 years later, they don't make music like this anymore etc etc." I wonder if the perceived age divide when it comes to music is actually predominantly one way. I'd kill to be able to sing along with my dearly departed nan in her kitchen to the likes of Frankie Lymon and Paul Anka and Bobby Darin, but in no parallel universe would said resurrected nan join me rocking out in the car to some Nothing But Thieves or at a 90s themed rave.

Was a tossup between punting for Norman Tebbit and saying nope, that's it for the year. But I'm an optimist, so I went for the former.

Wed 28 Aug 65 Roy Orbison - You Got It  65 New Order - Blue Monday 88 62 Queen - I Want It All 61 Aztec Camera — Somewhere In My Heart 50 Transvision Vamp - Baby I Don’t Care +4 22 Billy Ocean - Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car -6 22 Jeff Wayne - The Eve Of The War (Ben Liebrand Remix) 21 Kim Wilde - You Came 20 Donna Summer - This Time I Know It’s For Real 14 Womack & Womack - Teardrops

Wed 28 Aug 45 Tennessee Ernie Ford — Sixteen Tons 39 The Teenagers ft. Frankie Lymon — Why Do Fools Fall In Love 39 Elvis Presley — All Shook Up 38 The Crickets — That’ll Be The Day 33 Doris Day — Que Sera Sera -6 32 Paul Anka — Diana 30 Guy Mitchell — Singing The Blues +4 25 Guy Mitchell & Jimmy Carroll — Rock-A-Billy 21 Lonnie Donegan — Puttin’ On The Style / Gamblin’ Man 20 Andy Williams — Butterfly 17 Johnnie Ray — Yes Tonight, Josephine 17 Johnnie Ray — Just Walking In The Rain 16 Dean Martin — Memories Are Made Of This 08 Frankie Vaughan — The Garden Of Eden  06 Lonnie Donegan — Cumberland Gap

Tue 27 Aug 39 Tennessee Ernie Ford — Sixteen Tons 36 The Teenagers ft. Frankie Lymon — Why Do Fools Fall In Love 35 Paul Anka — Diana 33 Elvis Presley — All Shook Up 29 Dean Martin — Memories Are Made Of This 28 The Crickets — That’ll Be The Day 25 Guy Mitchell — Singing The Blues +4 25 Guy Mitchell & Jimmy Carroll — Rock-A-Billy 22 Lonnie Donegan — Cumberland Gap 21 Doris Day — Que Sera Sera -6 20 Johnnie Ray — Just Walking In The Rain 20 Frankie Vaughan — The Garden Of Eden 20 Andy Williams — Butterfly 20 Johnnie Ray — Yes Tonight, Josephine 20 Lonnie Donegan — Puttin’ On The Style / Gamblin’ Man 15 Anne Shelton — Lay Down Your Arms 14 Winifred Atwell — The Poor People Of Paris 06 Ronnie Hilton — No Other Love

Tue 27 Aug 62 Roy Orbison - You Got It 62 New Order - Blue Monday 88 55 Queen - I Want It All 52 Aztec Camera — Somewhere In My Heart 49 Transvision Vamp - Baby I Don’t Care +4 30 Womack & Womack - Teardrops 29 Billy Ocean - Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car 27 Madonna - Cherish 21 Kim Wilde - You Came 21 Donna Summer - This Time I Know It’s For Real -6 20 Jeff Wayne - The Eve Of The War (Ben Liebrand Remix) 12 Sydney Youngblood — If Only I Could

Agree with this. I don’t know whether or not it was meant to be a parody of the (actually quite good) Guy Mitchell song but that’s certainly what it sounds like. Cuhahhnehhfohh thahahhneehhluuuu.

Mon 26 Aug 35 Tennessee Ernie Ford — Sixteen Tons +1 35 The Teenagers ft. Frankie Lymon — Why Do Fools Fall In Love +3 30 Paul Anka — Diana 29 Elvis Presley — All Shook Up 28 The Crickets — That’ll Be The Day 25 Lonnie Donegan — Cumberland Gap 25 Doris Day — Up Yer Arse, Yer Arse -6 22 Guy Mitchell & Jimmy Carroll — Rock-A-Billy 21 Guy Mitchell — Singing The Blues 20 Dean Martin — Memories Are Made Of This 20 Johnnie Ray — Just Walking In The Rain 20 Frankie Vaughan — The Garden Of Eden 20 Andy Williams — Butterfly 20 Johnnie Ray — Yes Tonight, Josephine 20 Lonnie Donegan — Puttin’ On The Style / Gamblin’ Man 18 Winifred Atwell — The Poor People Of Paris 16 Anne Shelton — Lay Down Your Arms 14 Tommy Steele & The Steelmen — Singing The Blues 12 Frankie Laine — A Woman In Love 12 Ronnie Hilton — No Other Love 10 Tab Hunter — Young Love

Mon 26 Aug 61 Roy Orbison - You Got It 55 New Order - Blue Monday 88 52 Queen - I Want It All 47 Aztec Camera — Somewhere In My Heart 43 Transvision Vamp - Baby I Don’t Care +4 30 Womack & Womack - Teardrops 29 Donna Summer - This Time I Know It’s For Real 28 Billy Ocean - Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car 24 Jeff Wayne - The Eve Of The War (Ben Liebrand Remix) 23 Madonna - Cherish 21 Kim Wilde - You Came 17 Vanessa Paradis - Joe Le Taxi -6 16 Sydney Youngblood — If Only I Could 10 Paula Abdul - Straight Up 06 Soul II Soul - Get a Life

Righto, those there are off to the final! Moving swiftly on to the next round...bit up and down, this selection, but 58-59 will be worth the wait. 1956-57 Sun 25 Aug 24 The Teenagers ft. Frankie Lymon — Why Do Fools Fall In Love +4 20 Tennessee Ernie Ford — Sixteen Tons 20 Dean Martin — Memories Are Made Of This 20 Dreamwavers — It’s Almost Tomorrow 20 Kay Starr — Rock And Roll Waltz 20 Winifred Atwell — The Poor People Of Paris 20 Ronnie Hilton — No Other Love 20 Pat Boone — I’ll Be Home 20 Anne Shelton — Lay Down Your Arms 20 Frankie Laine — A Woman In Love 20 Johnnie Ray — Just Walking In The Rain 20 Guy Mitchell — Singing The Blues 20 Tommy Steele & The Steelmen — Singing The Blues 20 Frankie Vaughan — The Garden Of Eden 20 Tab Hunter — Young Love 20 Lonnie Donegan — Cumberland Gap 20 Guy Mitchell & Jimmy Carroll — Rock-A-Billy 20 Andy Williams — Butterfly 20 Johnny Ray — Yes Tonight, Josephine 20 Lonnie Donegan — Puttin’ On The Style / Gamblin’ Man 20 Elvis Presley — All Shook Up 20 Paul Anka — Diana 20 The Crickets — That’ll Be The Day 20 Harry Belafonte — Mary’s Boy Child 14 Doris Day — Que Sera Sera -6 When I was just a little boy, I asked my mother to shut the fuck up with that godawful song.

Sun 25 Aug 62 Bill Haley & His Comets — Rock Around The Clock 60 Rosemary Clooney & The Mellomen — Mambo Italiano 51 Tony Bennett — Stranger In Paradise 43 Rosemary Clooney — This Ole House  36 Johnston Brothers — Hernando’s Hideaway +4 26 Alma Cogan — Dreamboat 25 Eddie Calvert — Cherry Pink And Apple Blossom White 22 Jimmy Young — The Man From Laramie 21 Prez Prado & His Orchestra — Cherry Pink And Apple Blossom White -6