Kenny

Or Bye-die-bye? Good mourning, Campers!

Autotune can make anyone sound good. Sadly, it was not available for the has-beens who "sang" at Brenda's Platinum Jubilee concert.

Kirstie Allez.

I loved my trip on her.

Cheaper for the BBC with loads of staff in Manchester. The upside is that Liverpool's hotels are crap and the locals will burgle the rooms.

Jimmy Carter

Reality

The country was in a terrible state When the Commons rose for a budget debate It was a few minutes before Kwarteng spoke up and then said "Sex will now cost a grand a fuck" Whether you're short, little, long, fat or thick The tax will be paid for the use of your prick Streeting said "Now look Kwasi dear will this tax apply to us boys that are queer?" Sad Pincher rose and looked very glum "Will I be exempt cos' I only want bum?" Kwarteng replied and sounded quite lairy The tariff will be doubled for you, you lecherous fairy Sir Keir then rose to tremendous applause He grabbed Liz Truss and ripped off her drawers He straddled across her and rode her at will And shouted to Kwasi "add that on my tax bill" Big Tiz then shouted "I think I'll resign I haven't had sex for a very long time I dream every night of Liz's moist pussy But I take anyone's as I can't be fussy" The debate carried on and oh what a sight Sunak was wanking the whole of the night Speaker Hoyle then said "let the voters decide But I think they'll baulk at a grand a ride" So now in the bedrooms of Britain at night There's many a pussy that's willing but tight We're taxed on our booze and we're taxed on our fags But we didn't expect to be taxed on our shags If a grand a ride is the price we must pay we can no longer afford a regular lay to quench our frustrations we now have to wank and for the state of the country we've got a fat Johnson to thank.

Former Lord Chancellor under Thatcher and Major , Lord Mackay of Clashfern (95) retired from the House of Lords this summer.

That's your first and only post? Please learn to write grammatically before inflicting your second on us.

Based on tonight's dreadful performance so far, England's World Cup chances.

That must be a fake post. I've received an email from the Governor of the Bank of Nigeria. Apparently, she's got over a £ billion hidden there but he needs my help to get it out. However, I'm a bit worried that he won't send the 20% commission to my Paraguayan bank account in the name of Adolf Goering.

Not necessarily if he goes to jail.

Phil's out of step!

She's been PM for two weeks. Boris and Sunak must be blameless! My guess is Starmer-Smith.

What a fucking sad wanker!

That's harsh. Camilla is just getting old.

Do you honestly think that Sir Keir Starmer's shadow cabinet of woke fascists and thick chavs would be any better?

Like this?

So which one put the arsenic in Brenda's single malt?

His real Daddy is proud of him.

What was the label on Obama's box?

You can take the man out of Scotland but you can't take Scotland out of the man. I'm guessing that he drank Buckfast tonic wine, Tennents Super Lager and Carlsberg Special.

A simple online search confirms that they are not the same person.

Jon is now 77 and finished a short solo tour in April which could have been a factor. Anyone who writes Anderson off understimates his ability to survive major health problems. Major respiratory issues in the noughties nearly killed him and he had multiple operations. Yes then went on tour with singers from two tribute bands. Jon recovered miraculously to tour with Trevor Rabin and Rick Wakeman before the pandemic struck. I saw the band a few times on those tours. They played two hour sets of outstanding quality! His voice and physical strength were amazing for a man in his seventies. Long live the King of Prog!