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YouOnlyDieOnce

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Everything posted by YouOnlyDieOnce

  1. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    I might go on the M25 in the morning to see if I can do 70mph on it for the very first time, assuming it's open of course! My local pub is open, they're currently installing a huge marquee with screen and projector. Also they've just ordered double the usual amount of beer. Any pub not open that day will be missing out on their biggest afternoon's takings ever. I won't be going as I can only imagine the queue for the bar. Even on a usual lunchtime I have to order a 4 pint jug, to save queuing up 4 times. I hate fucking queues! Therefore, there's no way I'm going to queue just see a covered coffin, especially if I can't lift the lid and peek inside. Who knows what's in it..... QE2 could still be alive and in exile for all we know!
  2. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    I wonder if Covid will be mentioned on the death certificate as she did come down with it fairly recently. It'd be the perfect excuse for another sodding lockdown.
  3. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Not fair, I didn't find out until 20 minutes later, one rule for them and one rule for us.
  4. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Probably on their way to shit on Meghan?
  5. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    I'm thinking that Charlie will become King George VII, as Charles is quite a poofy name and he must be sick of it by now.
  6. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    I'm quite emotional now to be honest. I'm feel bad at announcing it before the BBC did, but I do have some family and friends in high places. I thought that the UK was beyond fucked up due to Boris Johnson, but this is going to hit us very hard, not just the stock markets and the £. At least the lazy buggers will soon be enjoying yet another day off. Who's the next Head of State to kick the bucket, Putin? (I wish!)
  7. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Somebody near Balmoral will blab on Twitter once a black Coleman-Milne estate car or anonymous looking ambulance turns into the estate. Like being made redundant, you'll hear via social media first.
  8. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    I think the cat will be out of the bag within a couple of minutes.
  9. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    It wouldn't surprise me with Putin as a bumchum.
  10. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    It makes you wonder what that bastard Boris Johnson said to her before he got his marching orders.
  11. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Oh... she's still hanging on then.
  12. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    They're probably looking forward to her will being read out, not to mention Charles getting a proper job at last!
  13. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Not sure TBH, what if we become atheists also.
  14. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    We'll need a new National anthem, I personally like "Land of Hope and Glory", as it'll also suffice if we become a republic tomorrow ;-)
  15. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    She passed away at 16:50 this afternoon. My cousin's wife is getting the final touches to the 6pm bulletin ready. Her colleague, Huw Edwards is in bits apparently. Don't shoot the messenger, it's chaos in the BBC Cardiff office right now. Headless chickens everywhere.
  16. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Prince Andrew's young personal escorts?
  17. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Or Dirty Den giving Angie those divorce papers.
  18. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Perhaps he'll abdicate over dinner tomorrow?
  19. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Where's Oliver Cromwell when you need him?
  20. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    It'll probably happen just before to save the inconvenience and expense of a multi-network newsflash.
  21. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Perhaps he may be stuck on the toilet when it happens?
  22. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    I wonder if my local pub will be packed tonight? The BBC news at 10 could break all ratings records.
  23. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    What's to stop him for passing the baton straight to William? I'd be wanting an even more cushy life I was in my 70s, especially with that old nag to feed and muck-out also!
  24. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Well, the UK has been falling apart for a while, and BoJo doing his best to hasten the process.
  25. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    President Liz Truss sounds even worse!
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