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YouOnlyDieOnce

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Everything posted by YouOnlyDieOnce

  1. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    The big question on our minds now is..... Will she last another 47 pages?
  2. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    It seems like Balmoral is getting a little crowded, perhaps fat-arse Prince Andrew can wait outside to leave room for another six more important people?
  3. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Whatever happens... Can you please put Vladimir Putin in the top spot for next year, even if I have to arrange the "outcome" myself!
  4. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    It's the most dead-cert news so far. My cousin's wife, who works at BBC Cardiff as an editor, has just been asked to bring in a black outfit for her to change into during her night shift.
  5. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    He's my choice too. It'll be a VERY sad day when he goes, an inspiration to us all.
  6. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    I've just called my local Bed Fred, they're not taking any bets, due to the "sensitive" likely outcome. Will Charles be King for a day then pass to William? Or... If they all refuse, could Liz Truss become our first president?
  7. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    On the bright side... At least we won't have Ukraine or the Pakistan floods rammed down our throats at 10pm this evening.
  8. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Everybody will be out in the streets as soon as it happens, thunderstorm or not.
  9. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    There'll be uproar if the BBC has to postpone tonight's episode of Eastenders. Much better if she croaked just after kick-off during a World Cup final.
  10. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Good time to stock up on Union and Royal Standard flags to sell on eBay. Time to grease those poles so that they don't get stuck while lowering.
  11. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    I think this will be a news flash on all channels as soon as rigo sets in. Finally, we'll see the £ drop below the $.
  12. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    I'm glad that she lived long enough to tell BoJo "One must fuck off, you know".
  13. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    25DEC, just in time to fuck up Xmas.
  14. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    There'll be a "Large Event" along The Mall before Xmas and the workshy will be glad of yet another day off.
  15. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    I've just come back from walking the dog. I passed literally hundreds of houses and saw no union flag or bunting at all; however, I did see a white car, a red post box and a blue wheelie bin.
  16. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Ma'am, to leave a good legacy, can you at least fire that wanker Boris Johnson while you can still speak?
  17. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    It'll be a bit of a bummer if she's a day short.
  18. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    I wonder what the odds are of her croaking before the Jubilee public holiday? She's already wimped out of some of her garden parties. For God's sake woman, get a damn wheelchair, at least you can have the Rolls Royce logo put on it or a horses tail. Margaret wasn't as vain.
  19. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    If Biden gets his way, Liz won't be the only one not seeing Xmas.
  20. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    King Charles will deliver the next Xmas speech.
  21. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    May I be the first to congratulate King Charles III.
  22. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    We need something to take our minds off BoJo's Xmas piss-ups and WW3. C'mon Biden, send China and Ukraine a NATO invite?
  23. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Seems like we'll be having crowds lining The Mall soon?
  24. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    No doubt her sphincter has got a little slack with age, one mustn't fart or shart in public when coughing.
  25. YouOnlyDieOnce

    Queen Elizabeth II

    Get well soon Ma'am... and you'll be wiping your own arse again in no time.
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