YouOnlyDieOnce

Absolutely! A great day to hand out thousands of £200 fines without having to travel very far. This overzealous lot need easy pickings to bolster their Xmas party fund and bonuses.

More importantly, those lazy buggers milking furlough will be missing out on a day off for the funeral. So we can expect the Queen's face to look more like a bag of spanners than usual, especially as the "countdown" for her has just started.

If we have to include him on Deathlist 2022, how about we relegate him to 50th position?

I'm a middle-aged fat cunt, and proud of it! Anyway, who do you think will leap-frog Philip next after Murray Walker? Either way, I think we should replace Philip with Meghan on next year's DeathList as he's bound to have something up his sleeve when (not if) he leaves hospital.

Perhaps he'll hang on long enough to sort Meghan out, one way or another.

Quite expensive stuff, doesn't Princess Margaret have some whisky left behind?

I wonder if that was all of the remains or only some.

We can only hope.

Hardly suprising considering the slappers that he's been with and where his willy's been. Camilla: "Every time I give Charlie a gobble and swallow it, I get an upset stomach and acid reflux." Pharmacist: "Have you tried Andrews?"

When my Nana went (Dad's mum), she coughed during her penultimate breath and her false teeth shot across the room. By the time my Dad picked them up, and wiped off the slime, she'd gone.

I'm just pulling myself back together after reading the devastating news of this latest "procedure" being a likely success. If this thread reaches 200 pages, shall we accept that he's immortal for the foreseeable and not include him on next year's list? Perhaps Liz will croak first and this might just finish him off? If so, hopefully not around the same time, as I'd like two days off work, not one.

13 nights so far and probably 20+? That's quite a strain on our medical resources. I hope it's not coming out of the tax I would've paid if I declared my moonlighting activities.

The "Republic of Great Britain" does have nice ring to it. After all, our official country code is GB, not UK.

It's probably just bladder or prostate cancer.

I hate to be the bearer (pun) of bad news, but I think he'll be trotting out with a new spring in his step. BTW... RIP Mike Baldwin

He's probably having a whale of a time touching up all those nurses and asking them to pick his teddy up from the floor.

This old coot is becoming a champion coffin dodger. Will we reach 200 pages before he goes?

Meghan should donate both her kidneys!

It looks like curtains for him. I know of 9 people close to 100 and they all left the hospital with a body temperature well below 37C. 4 of them only lasted a day!

I see that no Ford Transit Connect, private ambulance or blacked-out estate car has parked up yet. He won't fit laid out in a Range Rover. I can't see any formal announcement being made until the skeleton is in Windsor. I say Windsor as London would be too much "fuss" for the old goat. It's also easier for most to get to so that they can spit on the coffin and cheer as it goes past. Not to mention crocodile tears from Liz and Andy.

That's probably what he's hanging on for, along with "planning" to deal with Meghan.

Same here, I just pick my arse most of the time.

That car was probably just delivering clean underpants. One must not have a crusty bottom when placed in a box.

Setting my alarm for 07:45 was a waste of time then.

I wonder if our National Grid will cope with the spike in demand with all those TVs and Radios switched on at 07:59 tomorrow morning. I'd better put the kettle on at 07:54 just in case.