Lard Bazaar

It is easy to miss things, I for one have only just realised that Peter Falk has died.

He looks pleased to see us.

Sorry to hear this. It also pisses me off when people say oh well you’ll get a nice big redundancy payout like it’s a blessing, because more often than not people only get statutory amounts which is capped at 20 years service and a take home pay of about 400 quid a week, so what you will get won’t last you very long at all if you still have mortgage etc. Here’s hoping you find something to keep you going.

Here, have another, taken by own fair hand

I used to love him on Take Hart. Although it’s probably only a matter of time before Morph calls the Yewtree Hotline.

Dust, anybody, no? Dust? Oh, sorry, wrong thread

There’s already a chequered flag topic though, and a snooker thread, don’t see the point of duplicated threads meself. But there isn’t one for knitting!

Yes, but I’m a cunt with a fringe

Balderdash! You haven’t lived until you’ve been in a screaming crowd of 50 thousand people cheering on a particularly tricky ‘knit one purl one’ manoeuvre!

Are we starting threads for every single ‘sport’ ever invented now? Bagsy me starting one about curling, or Olympic knitting, or extreme toenail clipping.

FTFY

Jealousy is an ugly trait

my sister used to do a remarkable impression of Siadwell, she had a very different sense of humour to me but every now and then would catch me off guard with a right funny one

It’s pure attention seeking (mine aren’t) - it happens a lot on Fucking Mumsnet, people post a picture saying ‘how old do you think I am’ and then complain when you say 72, or people that are 7 stone going ‘oh I look so fat’ so that people say ‘oh no you’re gawjus’ - I say ‘yeh you could probably do with laying off the pies a bit tbf, no offence hun’. I fucking HATE ‘hun’.

My grandad had a stroke, went home after four months in hospital but about a year later both him and nan went into care, he lasted a few months and Nan (who was already in advanced stages of dementia when they went in) lasted not quite two years.

Love a bit of Cold War Steve

amazing! I’m putting a link to that on my CV!

Well flippin eck! I shall wind my neck in then

Look I’m not being funny but this is the first time I might get a mention in despatches so can you hurry the fuck up with updating the home page please

How is this of any interest to anybody? ‘Young Married Couple plan on having a shag at some point’. Jesus.

If I WAS watching it, you can be sure I’d be watching it with closed eyes and closed ears too.

So can pissing your pants when you’re stuck in a four hour traffic jam on the M25. Something which I’d find monumentally preferable to watching that utter fucking colostomy-bag of a dull-fest.

You truly are not bothered about making any friends round here are you? I’d go to him for advice on how to break my vagina in two.

Some sections of the media won’t be happy until one of these young women, because it is predominantly young women they pick on, kills themselves. Oh wait - one of those young women did kill themselves. And nothing changed. When you put yourself in the public eye you have to expect, and accept, a certain level of criticism. But some of these absolute cunts that call themselves ‘journalists’ are relentless. Leave her alone, for fucksake.

FUCKING GET IN!