Lard Bazaar

He walked down them steps more steadily than I could, genuinely, and all I’ve got is a titanium shin that’s nowhere near 90 years old, bravo old man!

Now there’s a man I would have banged well into his 70s.

Oh flip, it’s another whippersnapper making me feel ancient

You’ve mixed that up, 73 is the amount of times you take to pronounce that name correctly

It’s not who you know, it’s what you know I reckon with a couple of strategically-placed skateboards I could beat my personal best of 24th this year!

To be fair I think Toast clicks the thread just to see if anyone’s kicked virtual fuck out of you yet

I’m sure that must mean I’m winning the DDP now unique AND my joker - you can all go home now.

For anybody else it could be a career-ending injury, I think it’s the same injury as what did for Carl Fogarty - but Marc Marquez is not human. I wouldn’t write him off just yet.

Sounds like my love life.

A box of Frazzles is what it will cost to split my hairs.

No, I won’t.

But a very strong one for Dignitas.

Yeh, I’ll give that a miss, because I already know, before I’ve even bothered listening, that I will fucking hate it.

Look at the fucking norks on that. Never heard of her.

Yes but at least they had talent! Brickying is a fine skill you know!

In my hands one bag of Frazzles lasts approximately 53 seconds.

You can do it twice for that!

If you buy me dinner first.

Bloody hell mate, you’re really taking this thread seriously aren’t you?

We call him all sorts in our house. Usually Bumberclart Spunkysplash. I also don’t fancy him, he looks like someone tried to blow dry his face on the number 3 setting. I do however frequent Mumsnet, simply to drop in a shit stirring post now and again -a bigger bunch of self obsessed, thick as fucking pigshit absolute cunts you’ll never find.

Well I can’t speak for other cunts but I’m a firm believer in practice makes perfect.

Well I’m a Mrs and I have a fanny so in my mind I’m a woman but in this fucking soppy world of gender fucking identity bollocks I suppose that will offend somebody or other.

Fair point, I‘ve been here so long I’d forgotten that - I’m not a Mr or a man though.

Doesn’t matter - the law says that anybody called Richard can be called Dick for comedy purposes.

A) I’m 46 2) I don’t own a ball sack (unless you count the one I’m married to) C) I was making the point that it made me feel old, so wind your fucking neck in.