Lard Bazaar

FFS.

That’s not even a proper bike, any old goat can ride a trike.

Never heard of them. I don’t think I’m going to get bored of this any time soon

Time waits for no man, woman, Lard or Toast

Never heard of any of them.

Horses for courses, innit. Thank you - she had a brain tumour. An ugly, drawn out, horrible death. I somewhat stupidly calculated the day that I would be the exact age she died, half expecting to get hit by a bus or something. That day has now long passed. Does weird things to your mind, thinking about shit like that. Let’s get back to jokes about cocks and shagging it’s what she would have wanted!

Bollocks. I’m the first to shout about cuntish men but I do not believe her for a second.

Never heard of any of them.

Never heard of any of them.

So turns out that Amber Heard was banging this ugly cunt behind JOHNNY DEPP’S back, which proves she’s fucking mental. Why would you shop at Lidl when you’ve got Fortnum and Mason’s at home?

Ah now she’s funny on Eastenders and is just like my niece Chloe who is also big titted and mouthy - so when she comes on the telly we say oh look it’s Black Chloe

Ditch the onion and replace with crisps.

Thanks. We didn’t bother to ring the police, its happened there before and they never do anything, and there was no cameras so nothing for them to go on anyway. Also if we’d rung the police it would give the game away when the little cunts’ severed dicks are found in Tesco bags in the Thames.

Cheeky cunt, I weren’t even born in 1979.

Menopause. Yeh I love having a face as hot as the surface of fucking Venus 24 hours a bastard day, and a headache that starts by the clock at 230 every cunting afternoon.

It’s fucking shit. Nobody gives a pissflap about Amos fucking Brierley’s real ale or Joe Sugden’s foot and mouth. They should have Lockerbie’d the whole fucking place when they had the chance.

Well let’s hope they happen in 4s and they take the absolute pile of shit off air. A soap opera about fucking sheep, I ask you.

I don’t know who any of these absolute fucking no-marks are with the exception of Bunton - every time she’s on the telly my old man suddenly has to go to the bathroom for some reason?

Loved him in Mind Your Language

I wish the rest of me WAS fucked

This is true - I wasn’t meaning to question another’s motives, reading it back my post didn’t come across as I intended. We are certainly all different in our ways, and this is what makes the forum the veritable smorgasbord of all human life that it is

Indeed, I wish Sidney Cook would fucking die, I’ve had him on my team the last few years.

Fair play, I walked into that one although I feel like a bloody hormonal teenager at the moment - the hot flushes above my waist of a 50 year old, the hot flushes below of an 18 year old!

Right I’m sure this has been asked but I’m asking again why can we use iPhone emoji things on here and have to use the crappy ones that are on here?

Fackin ell - you was in the year above her at school weren’t you?