Lard Bazaar

Definitely Wigon that gave her that name - I have remembered I had a Dallas calendar one year and Lucy was on my birth month. I am also short, and some would say poisonous. Crap at riding horses though. She’s 61, 61 I tell you!

Why though? It’s a completely different thing. I found it quite comforting to be able to post things here during my sister’s illness and subsequent death at the age of 43, fully aware it’s strangers on the internet and most people don’t give a fuck but that was useful as it’s people ‘outside’ of the situation, if that makes sense?

That’s always the way though isn’t it, people are too scared to say ‘well actually I thought he was a cunt’ about dead people. If they were a cunt when they were alive, chances are they’re still a cunt when they’re dead. Condolences to you (just to be clear, I’m not saying your friend was a cunt!)

Yes, they are! Oh, you meant Banshees

He wasn’t boring but he talked utter shite, I’ve got an impressive collection of dildos under my bed that are more enlightening than anything he ever came out with.

Haha! Dallas was like late 70s early 80s wasn’t it - I can imagine 30 year old LFN rubbing out the easy one over Victoria’s Principals

Thank fuck!

He was an absolute fuck knuckle. But he did bring a bit of character to the place!

They don’t make ‘em like they used to!

Ah that’s good to hear. I did actually just manage to view her profile (after slagging the search function off!) and saw she last visited in September. I hope she is well, whatever she is up to.

She leaves behind two children.

Having taken a break myself for a while I notice that Carol Ann doesn’t seem to be around any more? I did try and look for her recent activity but the members menu never works for me, just like the shitty search function.

I bloody love Dallas, a few years back they reran it on some obscure channel and I ‘taped’ and watched it all, loved it, even the terrible Bobby dream sequence. I even quite enjoyed Knots Landing too, never liked Dynasty though. BBG was much better than that other Miss Ellie. I also enjoyed the remake a couple of years ago, with evil John Ross, shame they didn’t keep that going a bit longer!

She’s probably got her own thread but fucked if I can find it, Harvey Price in intensive care

Nothing to tell, quite literally! Calling it tiny would have been over egging the pudding.

In the words of my hero Linda La Hughes, ‘there ain’t no such thing as bisexuality, it’s just greediness’.

I haven’t been on a dating app for a very long time, and the only men I met on them were fucking weirdos. One genuinely looked like Fred Fucking Flintstone, and another was very proud to tell me he managed his money by having separate envelopes to put cash in for different bills, which his mum looked after for him. One had an actual micro penis. Anyway I don’t need to make myself more alluring to the men of Wiltshire - I am FAF as fuck already and none of them even bother trying as they know I’m well out of their league. I could turn Alan Carr, Graham Norton and Rylan all in one go.

Which is the sole purpose of going on dating apps, no?

Peter Falk has died.

When I was about 18 I was boning a boy who tried to convince me his real name was Giorgio Armani, his name was fucking Brian, and he was a massive twat.

Yeh I’d stick with ‘LFN’ if I were you I shagged a bloke with a tattooed dick once, distinctly underwhelming AND I’m pretty sure I caught something off him too

I’ve only got one knuckle tattooed, I’m not a thug true story

I’d high five you for that, except you’re from Norfolk so I’ll high six you instead.

Fuck that, I’d struggle to sit through them even if the Foo Fighters were headlining.

It won’t matter what her clothes are made out of when the prison guards string her up.