Lard Bazaar

When you say 'there is no more Olly', do you mean the chap really is no more? Or just that he's not on here ie DL anymore?

It's obviously only a matter of time before you lot become lardist as well.

1 - is it Arsenal, Aston Villa, Everton, Ipswich Town and Oldham Athletic? And I thought of all those without googling, so there!

I think you would do a fine job of organising the next one - your utter dedication to the cause genuinely impressed me!

Less of the old, grandad. Someone's bound to try and bump him off, and I'll do anything for points.

He's going on my list next year.

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That's a fair point, you certainly did have a large portion. And I was rather drunk, so I may be remembering things incorrectly - besides, I'm a Wiltshire bumpkin - I don't like having to pay more than a handful of magic beans for anything. All I know is, I arrived home with a purse emptier than Jonathan Ross's works diary.

Look, the fact is that I (a long standing forum member) made a post on the forum whilst signed in. To be quite honest I didn't read the thread because I knew the information regarding WHERE the convention was meeting - what I wanted to find out - would not be posted. Thus I posted on the forum thinking that the relevant party, whoever it may have been, would have got my message. If you didn't see my post, then I apologise for causing such a fuss. As you have pointed out - I wouldn't have gone anyway. I was just interested to where this meeting was taking place. If I had known that the security was so tight, and the regulations so unflexible then perhaps I would have sent a bloody PM. Well, it was at the ******** in ******** ***** * ****. The next one, which will be held in *****ber, will be at the **** ******* in **** ****. OK? See you there. Well, I suppose that'll do. It is more information than I got for this years meeting... Oh for f**k's sake Windsor, stop moaning now - he obviously didn't see your post - and why should he, he spends all his time here arguing with Banshees! And you wouldn't have come anyway. And if you had you would have spent the whole afternoon moaning at the price of a pint. I seem to recall buying one pint of Fosters and a large white wine and it coming to nearly eight f*****g quid! That would have swallowed up your student grant pretty damn quickly.

I did not PM him. I did, however, leave a message on the forum asking where this meeting was taking place to which no answer was given. As far as I'm aware I have not yet met your mother. It is not impossible though. Does she like playing shitty dance music on her mobile phone whilst travelling by Stagecoach bus? Yes but my point being, LFN may easily have missed a post on the board, but would not have missed a PM, being as they pop up in your face whenever you log on. The only thing my mum likes doing is shagging and being a bag lady - I'm sure she would be happy to play shitty dance music on a mobile phone on a Stagecoach bus if it would increase her chances of ending up on her back with her large pants round her ankles. Say hi from me.

Tsk, all these north London sexcapades and goings-on. Funnily enough, I shared a cab back to N8 with S*** H****s once, and, for some reason I can no longer remember, he introduced W*****set at the P*******s in I*******n. Seemed a nice enough chap. I wonder if he used a DLC2-endorsed ****** when he was (or wasn't) rogering Ms G*****n? Didn't J*** G****** also enjoy extramarital relations with E* R******** from B*** N**** L*****? Bloody hell, can someone sack the asterisk guy? I haven't a clue about any of these, apart from the obvious!

Barack's grandmother, with masterful timing, has died. Jesus, some people will do anything for a bit of publicity. He'll be saying he's f**ked Andrew Sachs' granddaughter next.

What about those of us who did bother to ask? You're being a tad disingenuous, since you've made it pretty clear you wouldn't have attended even if it had been held in your own house. Have you ever ventured beyond Scotland's wall(s), by the way? Anyway, feel free to take offence even though none is intended. I'm just pointing out that I did ask where this meetingwas taking place, to which no answer was given. Thus I possibly have the best excuse for not being there. (By the way - I have left Scotland on about 4 occassions that I can remember. So yes.) Windsor, my lovely, stop being an arse. LFN said whoever wants to come, PM him and he will tell you the whereabouts - did you PM him? Or did you expect him to PM every single member? Don't get me wrong, I'm disappointed you weren't there - I would have very much enjoyed debating the declining moral fibre of Fraserburgh women with you. Have you had the pleasure of my mum yet?

Heinz - Harald Frentzen also comes from the same place as Michael and Ralf Schumacher. He was apparently Schuey's best mate when they were young - although Schuey's wife Corrinna was once Frentzen's girl. And don't tell me - she's shagged your brother Dave as well.

Well, I had a lovely time! Everyone who came was lovely, and I honestly am pleased to have met you all. I only wish I could have contributed more to your discussions in an intelligent way, rather than with 'mmm yes another large white wine would be lovely, thanks' :-) It was great fun, let's hope we can do it again next year.

You're not coming? You ungrateful bastard, I just shaved my legs especially for you, and changed my bedsheets on the offchance you might see me home. I might as well stay at home now.

Hey ATJ, have you ever seen the program Dateline NBC news with Chris Hansen? I bet you have. After all these years, I've noticed that's it's as if you have some kind of fascination with the taboos of the human mind. It's just my educated guess. Anyway, I didn't have lunch today so I could have some mini choclate bars later. I like Haloween. It's once a year, you know. Yeh - just like a flu jab, or a smear test.

Don't worry, I've got a spare, I'll bring it.

Bollocks to Halloween. That's my intelligent, well-thought-out, meaningful contribution to this thread. Bloody kids knocking on the door every five minutes wanting something, you think I'm made of bloody money? And they don't just come in ones or twos, they come in groups of THIRTY and expect you to give every last one of the scabbing little bastards something. Well they can all f**k off. I've switched off my lights and am pretending I'm out.

I've been pondering this for, oooo ages, and I would like to know what was so special about Dec 1 2006 that over 400 people were online on DL at the same time? Usually you're lucky to have over 10 people online at the same time at the moment (unless I'm looking in the wrong place) - so what happened on that day? Am I being my usual thick self and missing something obvious?

Deep Throat director has choked it. I can see this is in the Mark Felt thread too, didn't think to look in there, sorry.

I wish someone would see off Jonathan Ross and that other waste of the licence fee, Russell Grant. Prats. And has Andrew Sachs ever actually been in anything else apart from Fawlty Towers? Excellent. So, on the basis that Andrew Sachs hasn't done too much since Fawlty Towers, it's perfectly ok for a 99,000,000th rate 'comedian' and a parasitic side-kick to pull an unfunny, tasteless stunt on him. If Sachs hadn't been semi-famous for something, the pond-life Ross and Brand would never have done what they did. Equally, they wouldn't have done it if he'd been a Hollywood megastar. And this site is supposed to play host to people who are intelligent enough to resist the morality of the common herd. Oh, and I cordially loathe Tony Curtis. So, because I find something funny that you don't, I'm somehow less intelligent? Fail to see your logic there, but each to his own. The point was, as if you didn't know, is that people are spouting off about this as if he WAS a Hollywood legend - he isn't. He's been in one successful series some thirty odd years ago, and done a load of voiceovers - you could say the same for Denise Van Outen.

This is going to sound blindingly obvious but dont you tape some of the programmes? When our youngest was, er, young, she could be plonked on the sofa in front of the TV watching "Come Outside" over and over. They watch, you can sit with them and doze a bit.............. Funny, I have just finished a conversation with my neighbour about plonking babies in front of the telly. My eldest was a really good baby, but, because I was a scummy teenage mum when she was a baby, I hated getting up before about 11am - so I would stick her in the bouncy chair in front of the telly and she would sit there for hours, allowing me to catch up on me zzzz's. Skyplus a load of Tweenies and get a bouncy chair - sorted. Alternatively, move the cot into the garage.