Lard Bazaar

What a horrific image, MPFC, I may never sleep again. I, too, feel slightly nauseous now. Does the best death have to be one off the DL list? I think Anna Nicole Smith's death was quite a good one, a bit shocking, a bit unexpected, certainly talked about.

Happy Birthday weatherman - half my age....git.

Harry Patch goes to a pub near me

What a splendid name, I may pick him next year purely on the basis of that.

Hang on a minute - surely you of all people know it's spelt Fraserburgh? Are we being hoodwinked by an imposter?

BBC link for Verity Lambert

This year is only my first in the DDP, and I am an absolute technodunce, but I do like typing (sadly), so if any adminny type typing needs to be done I'd be willing to help.

Thank you all. Will keep you posted on progress.

I'm having my own brush with death at the moment. Last week my sister, who has been feeling unwell for a few months, was diagnosed with a massive brain tumour. Deteriorated rapidly on Saturday and had to have surgery straight away - we were summoned to the hospital in the middle of the night as they felt she was not going to make it. Sat there for hours while she was in surgery, in a room with other members of the family. She made it through surgery, but they were unable to remove all of the tumour. Then mid-week the biopsy results came back, she has a very aggressive and fast-growing form of cancer. She had another op yesterday to try and remove some more, and will now embark on a course of radiotherapy, but the outlook is very bleak. Feeling a bit in limbo at the moment, as we really don't have any clue as to how long she has, doctors can't say - could be weeks, could be years. Feeling guilty for even being on here, not that she would want that. Feeling awful for her young children. Don't really know what to say to her - we're all chatty and fine when I visit, but we both know deep down what's going to happen.

It's Spongebob Squarepants. Blimey, don't they teach these young'uns anything in school these days?;-) I'm alarmed that Wizbit is now appearing in these nostalgia shows and such like - I didn't think my childhood was THAT long ago! What's a Wizbit? You'll like this, not a lot

John?

It's Spongebob Squarepants. Blimey, don't they teach these young'uns anything in school these days?;-)

Let's not forget that nobody held a gun to McCartney's head at the altar and forced him to say 'I do'. Fault on both sides, I reckon. He wanted a foxy blonde chick/Linda lookylike on his arm to prove that he wasn't an old has been and could still pull the birds, and she wanted millions of quid. Six of one and half a dozen of t'other if you ask me.

Surely that should read 'most weeks'?

That's the spirit. Why not make some money on the side too? You could store asbestos sheets, nuclear waste, mercury and lead in your attic and gardens -- They'll be someone else's problem after you move. Maybe you could go back to using leaded petrol, because it's only other people's kids that'll get brain damage. Fair point. I'm just being honest in what I think. I'm not going to pretend to be worried about it when I'm not.

See, I'm the other way, I have bad circulation and am always freezing cold, so when the idiot in my office turns the air con on (without bothering to ask anyone else I might add), I'm sitting there in my coat because it's too cold. I've always got my heating on at home. If I'm honest, I don't give a crap about carbon footprints. Nothing drastic is going to happen in my lifetime, and I don't give a monkeys about what happens when I'm dead.

We've just been away for a few nights in Selsey, went for a walk round Chichester on Tuesday and whilst we were there, within the space of about half an hour, two old ladies both fell over right in front of Mr Lard, two separate fallings completely independent of each other - I'm wondering if he has this effect on ladies under the age of 70 as well. Happily, both old ladies were fine after a little sit down. On the floor

BBC reporting Alan Coren dead - no link yet. Link

Have a splendid day

Ricky Tomlinson has his bypass

Is it that obvious? Damn, I was trying to be calm about it. I need to lay down.

Wikifuckingpedia Administrators. OK, I'm sad. If I'm reading an article and there's typos I correct them. They've blocked me and accused me of being an alias for someone else, which I'm not. So I asked to be unblocked, and put a help request on my talk page, so they removed that too and blocked me from my own talk page. So I can't even ask for help. f*****g twattish little hitlers. f**k you and f**k your typos. Keep them. Twats.

Thanks for your PM Banshees, unfortunately I still can't make head nor tail of whether it should have been 'remarkable' or 'remakable', and my earlier mammary-like sentiments have been confirmed, not that any more evidence was actually needed.

I assume when Banshees started this topic he spelt 'remarkable' incorrectly on purpose? If not, if he indeed IS 'remakable', could he remake himself into someone who's not a tit?

Anyone of the cast of Eastenders?