Lard Bazaar

Are you the same bloke that writes this ? Brilliant LB, looks like it is written in the style of the superb 'Molesworth' books. I was flicking through 'Back in the Jug Agane' the other day in my parents library (otherwise known as the bathroom) and laughing my head off, thinking there must be sites on the net about Molesworth, thanks for reminding me to look, just off to post about one on the HP thread. I'd never heard of Molesworth, but I will now investigate - thanks I'm always learning new things in here!

NO!!! NO!! DEAR GOD WHY OH WHY.. why is Les Dennis still alive? Here's the intro to for those feeling nostalgic Agreed re Les bloody Dennis. A real shame though, Frank Butcher was one of the better characters in Eastenders - why couldn't it have been Stacey Slater instead, moaning tart.

Another furious canine suffragette throws itself into a rider's path. They must be a lot more anti-doping than us humans, is all I can think. While watching that one, I spotted this one - but I can't think of anything funny to write about it, so I won't.

Sadly (for Mr LB anyway) all the waitresses were well over the age of 60 on the day we went, so probably not the fit one that you saw. Or maybe it was and you like the more mature lady We did enjoy our week, thank you.

Are you the same bloke that writes this ?

Good luck on your travels, keep safe and well

Happy Birthday Windsor

That was my main aim in opening up so totally and honestly to you all. I don't like the name Timothy much either, it's a gay name, like Duncan and Matthew.

I guess now's not the time to admit I've got a personalised number plate then. In my defence though it's not one that makes a silly word, it's my initials. So nobody else knows what it means (except people who know my initials). And it also makes me a better driver as I'm too scared to road rage anyone as they will remember the plate easier and hunt me down and slash my tyres. So it does have it's benefits. No, really, it does.

A very late thank you maninblack. I have, alas, not been free to respond before now. Thankfully, I am now at liberty to respond. Have you been in jail? A slight misunderstanding led to a temporary removal of some life choices. All sorted now ............. Ha, I was right! Come on, spill the beans!

A very late thank you maninblack. I have, alas, not been free to respond before now. Thankfully, I am now at liberty to respond. Have you been in jail?

Authors Charles Whiting, Leo Kessler, Duncan Harding and John Kerrigan - one and the same and all dead

Why is the guy Chinese? I was wondering that myself, and very nearly added on the bottom that I didn't know why he was Chinese, as I knew someone would ask that very question.

I got that one by text a couple of days ago, do I know you? I just got it by text from Mr LB about an hour ago I sent it to a ginger friend, who replied in a not-so-friendly tone that it was the 12th time she had received it today.

Chinese man phones his boss. 'Me no work I sick'. Boss says 'when I'm sick I shag my wife, try that', 2 hours later Chinese man phones back, 'Me better, you got nice house'.

I may have mentioned this before, but at the nursery where LB the Youngest went, there was a little girl called Treacle. For f**k's sake.

All this Harry Potter stuff is bollocks anyway. OK, magic and wizardry and all that, fair enough, but a ginger kid who's got TWO mates? Totally unbelievable.

Mine is Lard Bazaar. I am the queen of cunning and deception.

Hear hear.

It was an Italian actually, Liuzzi. Good stuff first of all. Markus Winkelhock in the dog slow Spyker leading 6 laps on his debut - doing more in his first race than Stefan Johansson ever did in years of racing. Finally, a fight for the lead on the track. And nearly a fight on the podium. Jenson Button scampering like a frightened rabbit from his car whilst Lewis Hamilton sat patiently waiting to get back on track. (And then people wonder why Button is becoming forgotten quickly.) And a driver & a safety car? Well... sort of. Happened to the same driver - not once.. but twice. Step forward Taki Inoue. And being towed back after Bernd Maylander, the safety car driver, crashed into Inoue during practice.. Also, Prof. Sid Watkins, the medical guru for so many years, said that, in the early days of racing, things were a little fraught & Derek Daly had to go off the road once to avoid the medical car which was pootering along after an incident... I knew someone would come up with something! Thanks for that. Don't know why I thought it was a Japanese driver.

I raised a question to Mr LB during today's race, and wonder can anyone tell us if there has ever been an instance of a collision between a competitor and the safety car during an F1 race? This of course came to mind during the rainy bit when one of the drivers (one of the Japs?) spun off, narrowly missing the safety car and then landing next to a tractor.

If we're getting into the realms of adverts then I nominate Picture Loans, the one with the patronising bloke with the football. I want to kill him. With something very sharp. To the genitals.

I read that yesterday and pissed myself. I'm trusting your underwear has since been changed LB. I've looked at the pictures and I'm convinced that the supply teacher really is Barry Chuckle. I have indeed changed my daks since then. It is particularly funny to me as before I met him, Mr LB also had a huge moustache and was the spitting image of Paul Chuckle, and by a spooky coincidence, Mr LB's name is Paul. If only I had a scanner, I could prove it!

I read that yesterday and pissed myself.

Surely that should be Larry King Barely A-Live.