Lard Bazaar

Oh, there you are, shows what I know about football, I am just a foolish girl after all. They may have been squaddies, or just very enthusiastic Abba fans.

Is that football stuff? That would explain the drunken riotous hecklers that were in attendance at the City Hall. Not what I expected at an Abba tribute, but amusing all the same.

I went to see the Abba tribute band Bjorn Again at Salisbury City Hall on Saturday night, and what jolly fun it was too.

At the risk of sounding like a spotty juvenile, rather than the respectable mid-thirties mother of two that I am, me and Mr Lard saw Jackass Number Two on Friday night, and laughed our tits off all the way through. Now maybe there's a contender or two for the deathlist - I'm sure drinking horse's jizz can't be good for you.

I don't think Michael Barrymore would have the balls to commit suicide. I think he enjoys the attention he gets, albeit attention from a tragic situation such as this, because he is no longer the massive star he used to be (quite undeservedly in my opinion) and at least this way, all eyes are still on him. He is a pathetic individual - I believe you need guts to kill yourself, and I don't think he's got any.

Blimey. He really is a fan. Sorry, but that was handed to me on a plate.

Another shocking one I've just remembered was the death of Ayrton Senna. My dad is a great lover of cars, everything from my childhood centred around cars and racing - we never even had proper holidays, our breaks away consisted of camping in fields by race tracks while my dad competed in amateur rallies. Every Sunday throughout the F1 season, if we so much as breathed heavily whilst the TV was on we'd suffer his wrath. Senna is the first F1 death I can remember, along with Ratzenburger that same weekend, although that didn't seem to have the same shock value as Senna - I'm sure there must have been others before them though in my lifetime.

I think the first one I remember was John Lennon. I distinctly remember a few weeks later it being the topic of conversation when we arrived up north at my grandparents for Christmas. We moved to Australia a few months later though, and I can't remember any further notable passings until we returned to this country in '83 and then Tommy Cooper popped it. My sister saw it on the telly and was quite disturbed. Anyhow, many hearty congratulations on your milestone.

Sad news. He reminds me of dull Sunday afternoons, when nothing was on the telly so we'd put the radio on and listen to Pick of the Pops. Another slice of childhood fades away.

My brother and I were born in the same room in the same hospital, and we're not even twins.

Hear hear - we have a regional programme presented by children's non-entity Josie D'arby - she's not even from here, she's from F*****g Wales!

Hear hear, I watched Pierrepoint a few weeks ago, hardly ever watch films, I thought it was very good.

Blimey.

Steady on, you'll have us old birds coming over all unnecessary.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6170376.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/6169606.stm Lebanese industry minister and Maronite Christian leader Pierre Gemayel has been assassinated. This may need to go somewhere else - I've never heard of him but then I'm a silly girl.

Have a splendid day!

How would we know if Lord Lucan died?

AAAAARRRRGHGHGHGHGHGHGH ESTATE AGENTS! May they all drown in a pit of scum from the u-bend of Tom Cruise's toilet. If I was allowed to type W**nkers really loudly I would. That's my pet hate for today.

I'm afraid this link is somewhat flawed - Mr Lard has size 11 shoes, giving him a supposed ten inch willy - if he had a ten inch willy d'you think I'd be sat here reading this damn forum every night?

I had a dream last night that Phyllis Diller died. Not a very reliable source I realise, but I also did once have a dream that someone was stabbed outside Woolworths, and the next day lo and behold it happened. Sadly though, the dream I had that I was going out with The Fonz did not come true.

The English on that test is appalling, it lost me when it asked if the volcano had exposed itself recently. Strangely enough it got me spot on, I am easily stressed. But the recommended remedy was karaoke. I'm not sure how wailing 'Unchained Melody' in my local pub whilst all the regulars point and laugh whilst ripping their own ears off would alleviate my stress.

My pet hate is Anthea Turner.

Right this is my first one, so apologies if it's in the wrong place - I've searched and couldn't find a thread about her. Phyllis Kirk of 'House of Wax' is dead at 79. http://deathbeeper.com/1484622.html IMDB link [HCW]

Ouch.