Poetry Man

Harmonious Hemoroids in Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire, hardly hever appen. I am well and dandy thanks, sore points to be sure at the time but flapping numeroids will do that to you.

I once had a doctor tell me I was suffering from flapping numeroids. Turns out he actually said "you are crapping hemoroids", but I am a bit deaf. Sorry if this is a bit tasteless, but at the time, the difference was quite important.

Of course, silly old me... and there was I thinking he invented wood glue!

Wasn't he even more famous for being subjected to "rascally wabbitts"?

I heard on the grapevine that Charlie is fine. They rolled him down a hill and he gathered no moss, and as we all know a good and fit rolling stone gathers no moss. If he has shown signs of moss debris, we would have had cause to worry.

So far not a mention of Fanny. Julia was certainly among the first famous TV cooks, or chefs, but Fanny was with her Johnnie on TV in 1955, so she is probably more famous in England than the lovely and very talented Julia. I feel a poem coming on, I shall try and beat it out of me - geddit - beat it.

Poor Julia, and the Frug went a couple of weeks ago too.

So farewell Red, I bet you now feel blue, A colorful life; a colorful hue. You put out oil rig fires, with bravery and gusto But like all peeps, in the end, you too must go. I never knew you Mister Red, But I think I knew your cousin, Fred, Who back in 1982, Run an employment agency; is that true? He said he was your cousin, Now we will never know, But thank you Red, for all you done, Cos putting out fires, ain't all fun. Poetry Man, in the style of er... well.... Keats. No not that Keats, Mrs Keats from number 82

Am planning to respond, always in rhyme, Especially now, that I have the time, For 2005's list, with no blarney, I'd like to nominate, dear old Reg Varney. "'Urry up Arfer" was 'is call, When On the Buses was on the ball, Solzhenitsyn and Musharraf I will handle well, Especially if Arfer can ring his bell. So thanks for the welcome, from this side o' the pond, The Deathlist is something, of which I am enormously fond, And try as I may to make every verse rhyme Sometimes I might just not have the energy! Poetry Man August 12th - now leaving the building, to look for Grouse!

Alas for Fay, it is time to say: "Hi Mate", To her co-starring hairy, long-dead, big old primate; Her name was a rhyme as in "Fay" and "Wray", But now she is gone, for live long day. Written in the style of E.J.Thripp, Private Eye.